YES!YES IAM A COWARD...

I FEEL AND FEAR THE WORST...

I FEEL AND FEAR THE UNKNOWN..THE DARK FUTURE IAM BOUND TO AND BORNED FOR...

but...but can you blame me for once?no? yes? I don't know...
it's like my life has no choices. from morning dot to evening, I do the same. I feel the same, I talk and walk the same...but still it feels different..

like it's not me who is walking and talking and doing the all..

like iam missing myself...like my soul is deeply buried inside me...

I can't search for it...I don't have time...

I have to fulfill the responsibilities and burden iam bound for my future...i have to fear to cry aloud and say aloud...I have to hide my fears and pains...

IS THIS MY DESTINY? A DESTINY IAM BORN WITH? IS MY LIFE FATED?..

but the only answer I can come with is...I don't know.

through writting, my wounds, my pains won't vanish...but somewhere it is like, I shared...yes ,I shared my feelings and tears with words... through words...

if you ask yourself to picture yourself from now to 10 years later you...what can you think? do you think you have the confidence and fire to bring you till that heights?? we never know and we will never...

I curse myself daily for being so imperfect and ugly...but I can't even blame myself...

I have this dream to explore the wildness and at the same time quiteness of the jungles...

my one side asks for wild, ask for shouting aloud...and my other side just quiteness...and peace...

my dream to be a successful person in my life, I don't know, will it be ever happen or not...but I can only wish...

I say myself many things-ugly, imperfect, lazy, unserious for dreams...but at the same time, my other voice just judges people...

how they act, why they act, they are so attitude and bitches...but they are also much far ahead of us... didn't you ever realized??

my dreams...I don't want them to burn like paper, and become ashes and go away with the wind....

i wanted them to stay with me...I want to live my dreams...it's a part of my life and part of my soul...

I would be teared apart, if...if I lose myself and my opportunities just because of my imperfections and flaws...

I want to change myself..if possible...u wish it may arrive soon...just a change and a chance....

iam feeling void like nothing...nothing is something which doesn't exist no matter what explainations you give it to this theory...the same is I feel..I feel my non-existence...

but then my dreams wake me up...to not burned away with this fear..they remind me my aim...I can't lose like this...

but at the same time...I already lost...


© sabera unissa