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Xandra (3)
A girl was hiding behind a wall, watching his back getting out of her sight slowly.
"Carl...him again...what does he want from me?" she muttered to herself and curved her lips to a smile when she remembers those trembling girls earlier.
She went back to classroom, recieving different looks; surprise, sympathy and most of all....glee.
Feeling happy because she got a low score than her usual top 1, getting only to top 30.
'You all are feeling happy from this?'
She felt kinda happy because...
They are not looking at her with jealous gazes nor praise.
'In this case...they wouldn't have high expectations to me if this continues, right?' she, Xandra, forced herself to take an exam and despite being sick, she guessed that she'll be able to get top 30 or 20 with her score...and she guessed right.
She doesn't want expectations....expectations just made her lose herself, doing her hardest to achieve or exceed the expectation given....it feels not right, especially when it's not your responsibility to do so and simply doesn't like it.
'I don't want to make it as a habit...I don't want to...it is making me anxious'
Right....she doesn't want to continue being like this because she is afraid that if she continued being like this and did something wrong....they will dislike her, always getting anxious about how long will this praises continue happen.
Their praises is just making her anxious more.
It happened now, no jealous gazes nor envy nor praises, but she felt kinda relieved for some reason, despite the trembling feeling she have.
'But....I'm just a coward, even though I knew it...I still tried to cover myself with a mask that they want me to have, act like they wanted to, achieve things like they expected to....'
"Adler?" the teacher said as soon as she entered
"Yes Ma'am?" Xandra stood up.
"You really scored badly at today's quarter exam" she said as she read Xandra's papers
"Yes...I know"
"And that's because you're sick, and yet you forced yourself to do it" she looked at Xandra with a frown, her classmates also looked at her with surprise.
They didn't knew, because they aren't close with and most of all....she acts like nothing unusual.
"Ma'am! I saw Xandra still have time to read some...
"Carl...him again...what does he want from me?" she muttered to herself and curved her lips to a smile when she remembers those trembling girls earlier.
She went back to classroom, recieving different looks; surprise, sympathy and most of all....glee.
Feeling happy because she got a low score than her usual top 1, getting only to top 30.
'You all are feeling happy from this?'
She felt kinda happy because...
They are not looking at her with jealous gazes nor praise.
'In this case...they wouldn't have high expectations to me if this continues, right?' she, Xandra, forced herself to take an exam and despite being sick, she guessed that she'll be able to get top 30 or 20 with her score...and she guessed right.
She doesn't want expectations....expectations just made her lose herself, doing her hardest to achieve or exceed the expectation given....it feels not right, especially when it's not your responsibility to do so and simply doesn't like it.
'I don't want to make it as a habit...I don't want to...it is making me anxious'
Right....she doesn't want to continue being like this because she is afraid that if she continued being like this and did something wrong....they will dislike her, always getting anxious about how long will this praises continue happen.
Their praises is just making her anxious more.
It happened now, no jealous gazes nor envy nor praises, but she felt kinda relieved for some reason, despite the trembling feeling she have.
'But....I'm just a coward, even though I knew it...I still tried to cover myself with a mask that they want me to have, act like they wanted to, achieve things like they expected to....'
"Adler?" the teacher said as soon as she entered
"Yes Ma'am?" Xandra stood up.
"You really scored badly at today's quarter exam" she said as she read Xandra's papers
"Yes...I know"
"And that's because you're sick, and yet you forced yourself to do it" she looked at Xandra with a frown, her classmates also looked at her with surprise.
They didn't knew, because they aren't close with and most of all....she acts like nothing unusual.
"Ma'am! I saw Xandra still have time to read some...
