I fell in love. with someone I didn't think I would. to be honest, I'm not even suppose to. I've looked up to him for as long as I could remember. he's always been one of the few people I respected. yet he still is. he has my heart and sometimes I think he forgets. I can't help but want to look into his deep blue eyes. I want to kiss his lips that just make me want to go deeper. I want to run my hands through his hair and hold his hands.
he says he loves me and I know he does but is it the way I love him?
I can't help it but question if he wants me. I can't help but think that he's in love with someone else. I can't help but be scared to give my heart away even though its already in his hands.
I've been used. I've been lied to my whole life. I've always felt that I was never good enough so I'd either try 100 times more and harder or not try at all.
its either all or nothing with me. I don't see grey. I see either black or white. maybe its just because how I've grown up but I want him.
he knows I do. Sometimes I think he doesn't really know me though. I'm his best friend. he is mine but he scares me. he knows alot but not alot from me.
I'm scared. that when he does know me, he'll get bored and tried then run into the next person's arms when he's already barley in mine.
I want to wrap my arms around him so he'd stay with me. I want to lay my head on his shoulders that just seem to fit. I want to be in his arms and feel the warmth of his body.
to me, he's something else. I don't even know if he knows I think this way.
I love him. he loves me. but sometimes I question it.
why does he do certain things? why does he say things certain ways? why does he continually say something about someone else. he says he use to talk about her to throw me off. but he's realized its not working. yet he's still doing it.
So to let him know. maybe I will show him this. then maybe he can answer this question.
Do you want to be with me like I want to be with you? or and I just bugging you about this all? am I just trying so hard when you don't really want to. maybe you can answer these questions. or maybe you can't but the main question is.
Do you want to be with me? Do You want to laugh together? do you want to be with me?
I'm inscure and I can't help that. I can't help but think I'm not really someone when I've kept being abandoned most of my life. being left one place or being picked over something else.
I'm scared you don't want me. and I'm shy to tell you this. but please read me again. read my question. answer it honestly.
Do you want to be with me?
© Alexiehooper