I sat at the kitchen table on my old worn out stool. The Window Cleaner sat opposite me on the other, much newer looking stool. He had arrived here earlier in the afternoon and he now lived with me. His name was Philip Gentu. He was a 38-year-old non-smoking widowed man with two grown up kids. He’d previously rented a room in Swindon between June 2006, to the present time. He drove a tired looking blue Ford Transit van and he cleaned windows for a living. That was all I really knew about him, and most of that I’d just read on the tenant’s contract that he had just filled in.

I decided to dig a bit deeper. I thought I’d start with the standard type of questions that everyone asks.
‘So, how long have you been a Window Cleaner?’
‘I've been doing it three years now. I used to do computer programming but I got bored, so decided to have a go at working for myself. I’m so glad I did too. I love the freedom and I love to be outdoors.’
‘So, you don’t mind heights then?’
‘Nah, you get used to it,’ he said with a confident smile.
‘So where is your work based then, because surely you built your round up where you lived in Swindon?’
‘Yes, all my work was in the Swindon area but due to personal reasons I decided to move down this way. I sold my old round and managed to buy one down here, which was lucky, as good rounds are hard to come by. It’s not as big as my old round, so I will have to work hard for a few weeks to build my client base up a bit. I quite like canvassing and I understand that there is a fair bit of work up for grabs down this way, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Won’t be too long and I’ll be all sorted.’
‘You sound like you have got it all worked out. I wish I could say the same for me.’
‘Why do you say that? Having trouble at work or something?’
He seemed genuinely interested so I decided to tell him about my situation. ‘Well, I won’t bore you with the details, but yes, you could say I am having some trouble at work.’
‘What is it, your boss giving you a hard time is he?’
I gave a sort of sarcastic half laugh. He was good. ‘You’re not too far off there. How did you guess?’
‘Well it’s one of the biggest causes for complaint in the world of employment, and also, I can relate to you as I’ve had that sort of trouble in the past.’
‘Well, that is part of it. He has been giving me a tough time lately, but it's really more to do with the bleak financial situation of the company. Although, I suppose it is easy to look for someone to blame. You need to direct your anger at something, and as he’s the big-shot fat-cat at the top of the tree, he is the easiest target to aim at.’
‘It must be hard. I feel for you my friend.’
‘Yes, everything seems to be going along nicely and everything seems right with the world. Then one day you get a slap around the face that never stops stinging.’
‘It sounds like it’s affecting you pretty bad. What is it exactly that you do anyway?’
‘Well, I work for Intecnotec. We work closely with the government. We are an architectural planning and solutions company that specialises in high profile secure buildings.’
‘Intecnotec? That sounds impressive. Why is it called Intecnotec? Does it stand for something?’
‘Um, to be honest I'm not entirely sure why it’s called that. I suppose it’s just to do with the technical drawing side of things and innovative nature of the company.’
‘Anyway Leighton, sorry, I cut you off when you were talking. So, what do you do there?’
‘I am one of the Senior Architects. We deal with designs for new builds, re-fit and restoration projects. It’s for prisons, museums, banks, stately homes and even royal residences. It’s all very government sensitive stuff, so you don’t want files and blue-prints to those kinds of places to be seen by any old tom and dick. The whole operation is very restricted and closely monitored, so our entire building is heavily covered by CCTV and we all have to have security passes, as many areas require clearance. I've been there for so many years that I'm part of the furniture and even I’m still not allowed in all the rooms. It all seems a bit over the top if you ask me,’
‘That does sound very high-tech, like Mission Impossible or Star Trek or something. You’ll be using finger print and retina scanners next,’
‘Ha, yeah, but there’ll never be any half-naked sexy green alien women walking about the place unfortunately.’
‘Ha-ha, yeah,’
He laughed with a reminiscent grin on his face. He was probably thinking of the same classic Star Trek episode that I was.
‘I’ve actually been with them for just over fourteen years. I’m one of their senior architects. I really like my job, or rather, did like my job.’
‘So, what happened to make you feel like that?’
He sensed the very obvious, sarcastic tone to my voice. ‘Well in some ways it must all boil back down to this awful recession. The market just isn’t moving. People just aren’t building or restoring things as much these days as budgets are tight. For most people, it’s a case of buttoning down the hatches and riding out the storm. Or rather, holding on for dear life as they ride the up-side-down, inside-out, double, or triple dip recession roller-coaster from hell; or however many dips it’s up to now. In fact, none of us get the choice. We all have to ride it. And it’s not until you’re on it that you realise that the tracks been abused, neglected and rusted through. No one gets a safety bar and the incompetent buffoon of a guy that controls it, that nobody seems to know, or whether he even exists, just keeps speeding it up and the only way to get off is to just hold on for dear life in the hope that one day the ride might stop, or it might somehow magically restore its self around you and you might amazingly survive and start enjoying the ride again. That’s if you’ve not given up all hope and let go, or jumped off the top before then!’

I was really going for it with the analogies. I really like analogies. I was so angry with the whole situation I was in. It had been all bottled up and now I just found it all coming out of me. I hoped I wasn’t over doing it and freaking him out or anything.
‘You sound really upset with it all, but I don’t blame you; I’d probably feel the same. A small amount of my customers had to cancel window cleaning contracts with me due to budgets being a bit tight, but the whole recession thing hasn’t really affected my work. I suppose I don’t really see the full effect of the recession in my life. So, anyway, you were saying?’
‘Yes, where was I… Three months ago, our boss announced that the company wasn’t doing so well, so there would have to be serious cutbacks and almost definitely some job losses. Before that everything was great and I loved getting up in the morning and going off to work to get my teeth stuck in to a good design project. I’m creative, and I just loved the challenge and the constant striving to show that I’m good at what I do, and that I have a value. And I loved the great buzz of satisfaction I got when a project was completed. But now I feel that the life has been sucked out of me and I find it a constant struggle to even go to work, let alone enjoy it. Things are supposedly getting worse, so there is a real chance I’ll be for the chop. Let’s face it, I’m old, so I probably won’t get another job like it. That’s why I’m renting out my spare room. To raise some money. It’s my desperate damage limitation strategy. But you know what, the thing that really gets me is that I just can’t see how the company can be doing so badly. We always seem to have so much work on and we are constantly snowed under. I really want to help, but I’m not permitted behind the scenes because I’m not management; I’m just classed as ‘staff’. It really angers and frustrates me because it’s like I’m a little boy that's not even allowed to hold his dad’s tools, let alone use them to remove the covers to get inside and take a look at the heart of the machine to see what's wrong with it and try and fix it! I'm a practical person and my way to deal with any type of problem is to try and fix it, but I can’t do that in this instance so I feel shut out in the dark. I mean, do these people even know what they are doing? Are they competent at their jobs? Do they even care? Most of them are just overpaid, over-qualified upstart yuppies that would just walk in to a new job with their eyes closed. All this heavy stuff that’s going on and causing the world to fall apart around my ears probably doesn’t bother them in the slightest. The mighty Intecnotec machine is breaking apart from the inside and I’m powerless to do anything about it!’
‘It sounds like you have got yourself in to a right state over it all. To be honest, I don’t have any quick fix advice to help you and I don’t imagine that you would expect that I could give you any. You seem so intent on trying to fix the problem, but is it really one of those things you can just fix? It seems to me like you just need to give it time. It’s hard to just leave things alone, but sometimes you just have to. Maybe you should just try and calm down and take a step back and get it all in to perspective. It’s all in the what if, might and maybe stage at the moment, and nothing has actually happened. The world hasn’t ended yet. You still have a job and the company is still going. Yes, you may lose your job, but maybe you won’t. If it was me, I would just try and get my head down, work hard and make the best of it and see what happens. At least if you lose your job you will have the money from the rent that I will be paying you and surely you would get some redundancy money for all your years of hard work? You might find it hard to get another job, but it’s not impossible. Just don’t worry too much about it. Just try and relax a bit and see what happens.’

…Wow! That was the kind of double-shot-whisky speech that could sober a man up if ever I heard one. As hard as it was to hear it, he was right.
‘You know, it’s hard to be positive about it but I have to admit you’re right. What you’ve said does make a lot of sense to me. I think I’m just not coping with it very well. I will just have to try and slow down a bit. Sorry I’ve just landed all this on you. You must be thinking you’ve moved in with a right head-case wussy.’
‘No, not at all. We all have tough stuff to deal with in our lives at some point. I’m glad I was here to give you someone to talk too.’
‘I’m glad too. Thanks for this, it’s really helped’
Who was this guy? I had only known him for all of five minutes, but we were talking like two friends who had known each other for years.

I had a sudden thought. This was Philips first night here and all I’d done was go on and on to him about my problems. I would have to try and be a better welcome host than this.
‘Would you like a lager Philip?’
‘Oh yes, that would be great, thanks.’
I got a couple of cold bottles from the fridge. ‘It’s Samuel Adams. Is that ok?’
‘I’ve never had it. I’ll give it a try.’
‘I drink it all the time. It’s American Lager, from Boston — Well, that’s what it says on the bottle.’
‘Would you like it in a glass?’
‘Um, I’ll just drink it out the bottle. Less faffing about.’
‘Yeah, I always do too. Saves washing up.’
I liked his style. He was so like me. You could tell he was a man who had lived alone a long time.
‘Cheers Philip, all the best.’
‘Yeah, all the best Leighton.’
We sat drinking our beers and there was quite a long dry pause in the conversation. Talking about work is easy as its one of the default subjects to start up a conversation. It’s usually that or the weather or sport; but after that it gets harder.

Then it suddenly came to me. I would ask the question that everyone asks the Window Cleaner.
‘So, cleaning the old windows then. I bet you’ve seen some sights?’
’Well, err, I saw a cat eating a budgie once. Blood, guts, feathers and spinal-cord smeared all over the other side of the window I was cleaning.’
I choked a bit, as I tried to swallow a mouth full of beer. That wasn’t quite the answer I was expecting. I had asked the question in the hope of hearing exciting tales of half-dressed women being caught in compromising situations, like in a carry-on film or something. I had to quickly think up a response to what he’d said in order to patch over the awkward pause.
‘A cat eating a budgie aye. That's one Sylvester and Tweety-Pie cartoon you wouldn’t want your kids to see.’
He laughed. Then I thought of something else good to say to keep the momentum going.
‘Hey Philip, I’ve been working on a joke. Could I run it by you?’
‘Sounds interesting. Yeah, go on then.’
He seemed genuinely interested, so I went for it.
‘My wife looks down on me. She says I’m filthy and dirty and she just won’t stoop to my level. She keeps saying, ‘Why do you have to keep picking at stuff! Why do you have to keep niggling away! Why can’t you just leave things alone and stop dragging up the past!’… I said, ‘Love, would you mind not blocking my light please! I’m trying to complete and archaeological dig here!’
Philip laughed. ‘That’s quite good. It needs a bit of work, but it’s got potential. You have some talent there.’
‘Thanks. I like trying to make up jokes’
‘They’re the sort of jokes you get it the Reader’s Digest. You could send it in.’
‘Do you really recon I should?’
‘Yeah, I do. You never know, you might get a few quid for your trouble. I’ve got a joke for you actually.’
‘Ok, go on then.’
‘Morpheus from the Matrix is cool, isn’t he! Imagine you were his mate and you could hang out with him. That would be cool, wouldn’t it? Now, imagine you are a fifteen-year-old kid and he was your dad. That would be cool, wouldn’t it? …Err. No. It wouldn’t!... Imagine having to walk through the shopping centre with him. You’d be like, ‘Why do you have to walk around all moody and serious dad? It’s so embarrassing. And why have you got to wear that stupid long leather coat. Who do you think you are?... Shaft? It’s not 1970 anymore. And take those silly little sunglasses off, you look like a right dick. It’s not even sunny… and stop trying to give pills to my mates.’
I had to laugh. ‘Ha, ha, ha! Oh yeah, the ‘Red or the Blue pill thing’. And you can just imagine the embarrassment of it at that age. You would look at him in a completely different light. I will have to try and remember that one.’

It was about 6 p.m. by now and I was feeling a bit tired. I thought I would like to go and watch TV in my room for a while before I called it a night.
‘So, Philip, I would just like to say welcome to the house. Please make yourself at home. I hope you enjoy living here and I hope you like the room. Just ask if you have any questions about anything. Oh, by the way if you haven’t already seen them there are clean towels on the rail in your bathroom. When you need more, there are some in the airing cupboard on the landing. Just put the dirty ones in the bin that’s in the main bathroom. I know you will be washing you own clothes and I will show you how to work the machine tomorrow, but I insist on providing the clean towels for you. Also, there is a key in the lock of your bedroom door that you can use. That’s the only one so be careful with it. You are welcome to get a copy done if you like.’
I did actually have another key. I wasn’t the type to snoop, but I didn’t like the idea of not being able to access all areas of my own house.
‘Thanks very much. I think I am going to like it here and the view I have over the lake is great. Oh, by the way, I noticed a cassette player in the bottom of the wardrobe. Would it be ok if I used it?’
‘Yes, sure. It’s in a bit of a state but if you want to use it help yourself.’
‘Thanks a lot.’
‘Well I’m going to go up to my room now. I’m a bit tired and its work in the morning. Thanks again for the chat, it’s been great.’
‘Yeah, I enjoyed it too. I'm probably going to watch TV down here for a bit if that's ok?’
‘Of course, you don't need to ask. Good night then.’
‘Yeah, good night Leighton.’