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Lines of Love; Chapter 7
Lines of Love; Chapter Seven
Cait/
Standing at someone's side as a mute is the most painful experience to give them. This holds more true when they love you so openly but you refuse to acknowledge it allowing them to suffer silently. That's what Astra did with me at least and I never once tried to lift the burden or take away her pain. I selfishly stayed at her side becoming the worst kind of human being I could. No one compares to the damage I did to her in life and of that I'm aware. Words no longer hold any meaning with her so all that's left is showing her. Because I was supposed to be her best friend and yet I let her suffer for so long because of my fears and cowardice.
Victoria is the reason I could grow into an adult even though she was also acting selfishly. But because of that, I was able to face my mistakes which forced me to relive them as well just so I could fix them. My words failed her before so if my actions fail her then I guess I was meant to walk such a path of self-hate. Perhaps that's just how much I loved her even though I never told her, sometimes I wish I was like Joy. She did what many have no courage for even though she could lose the most from what she did. But her conviction is something to envy especially when she doesn't regret her decisions.
I'm surrounded by powerful people all I needed to do was open my eyes and take the lessons. The day I went shopping for the big day with Astra and Joy was when I started planning for the future. In a way, I became distant with them all but I needed to. My ideas were reinforced and backed by Victoria who unconditionally supported me. We found a tavern that a regular at our shop was trying to sell which was perfect for this. The wedding isn't mine alone but I want them all to see I do love her even if I can't say it, she means everything to me.
Victoria and I visited the place which was on a back road off the main road. The basement was what captivated me with so much space my ideas could become reality. So I started working harder to purchase things to decorate and clean up the basement. Victoria suggested expanding a few areas in the back which worked for an elevator lift. This project was ambitious I'm out of my depth but this was the only way for her to know. I know how Gina likes heroes and comics, things normal women and girls don't dabble in. Which made this all the more perfect I had a reason to start doing art again, a portrait just for them. A way to leave a part of myself on their life I guess, we truly are selfish in some ways.
Victoria was the best pastry chef I knew even if she denied it, so I had her creating the perfect cake. I couldn't count the injuries I incurred or the scoldings I got but I was bringing forth my declaration of love I guess. Once everything was coming together finally all that was left is cleaning up a little more. I don't think I ever had this much determination before but it sucks feeling left behind because of my inability.
All that was left was messaging Joy and Gina to meet me here for the reveal. I wish Jean and Dan could join us but every time I asked they had been wrapped up in personal matters. They promised to be at the wedding at least so I couldn't ask for more than that from them. Since the presentation was ready all I needed now was the courage to speak up for once. I plan to lay it all out in the open to them I just don't know how exactly. Perhaps if I wasn't so jealous I wouldn't feel the need to be so aggressive but feel left behind also inspires that aggression.
By the time I was done getting everything ready for the recall I heard voices outside. All that remained now was revealing and hoping they like it but what comes after has me the most afraid. Since I have been working here it's easy to navigate them through the darkness down to the basement. The moment of truth was hidden behind these lights I was anxious the moment I turned them on. The responses made me even happier seeing the reactions now all I needed was that Ash courage. They can't leave me behind anymore after this I hope.
" I have been planning the future of sorts... A place we can all call home without feeling like we are separated. In truth, I felt left behind by those closest to Ash and I'm supposed to be her best friend... So I created this place to be the wedding and future events. If you agree of course I did my best to bring it to life... But in truth I am acting selfishly because I want my Ash back, I know it's not easy to have so many people love her like this Gina. But the moment I saw the distance between Joy and Ash close I realized I was being left behind. Victoria brought the better me out but I can't be that me fully without Ash... God this sounds so terrible."
" She was worried about you disappearing, so I'm glad it's because of this. But allow me to make it clear now Astra is mine are we clear.?"
She said that so seriously and yet she's laughing a little as she looks at Joy. I guess I was worried for nothing.
" Hey don't worry I'm backing off, I said what I needed to already. So don't have to play clue on us Gina."
We all continued to joke around and laugh as I showed them everything. Gina loved the ideas for the future and even offered her own which helped a lot. Joy was mostly stunned into silence from everything but I could feel how happy she was about it. Now I just have to show the others and hope for the same reactions. But I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders now so it's not so bad.
© Seekerxxlight
Cait/
Standing at someone's side as a mute is the most painful experience to give them. This holds more true when they love you so openly but you refuse to acknowledge it allowing them to suffer silently. That's what Astra did with me at least and I never once tried to lift the burden or take away her pain. I selfishly stayed at her side becoming the worst kind of human being I could. No one compares to the damage I did to her in life and of that I'm aware. Words no longer hold any meaning with her so all that's left is showing her. Because I was supposed to be her best friend and yet I let her suffer for so long because of my fears and cowardice.
Victoria is the reason I could grow into an adult even though she was also acting selfishly. But because of that, I was able to face my mistakes which forced me to relive them as well just so I could fix them. My words failed her before so if my actions fail her then I guess I was meant to walk such a path of self-hate. Perhaps that's just how much I loved her even though I never told her, sometimes I wish I was like Joy. She did what many have no courage for even though she could lose the most from what she did. But her conviction is something to envy especially when she doesn't regret her decisions.
I'm surrounded by powerful people all I needed to do was open my eyes and take the lessons. The day I went shopping for the big day with Astra and Joy was when I started planning for the future. In a way, I became distant with them all but I needed to. My ideas were reinforced and backed by Victoria who unconditionally supported me. We found a tavern that a regular at our shop was trying to sell which was perfect for this. The wedding isn't mine alone but I want them all to see I do love her even if I can't say it, she means everything to me.
Victoria and I visited the place which was on a back road off the main road. The basement was what captivated me with so much space my ideas could become reality. So I started working harder to purchase things to decorate and clean up the basement. Victoria suggested expanding a few areas in the back which worked for an elevator lift. This project was ambitious I'm out of my depth but this was the only way for her to know. I know how Gina likes heroes and comics, things normal women and girls don't dabble in. Which made this all the more perfect I had a reason to start doing art again, a portrait just for them. A way to leave a part of myself on their life I guess, we truly are selfish in some ways.
Victoria was the best pastry chef I knew even if she denied it, so I had her creating the perfect cake. I couldn't count the injuries I incurred or the scoldings I got but I was bringing forth my declaration of love I guess. Once everything was coming together finally all that was left is cleaning up a little more. I don't think I ever had this much determination before but it sucks feeling left behind because of my inability.
All that was left was messaging Joy and Gina to meet me here for the reveal. I wish Jean and Dan could join us but every time I asked they had been wrapped up in personal matters. They promised to be at the wedding at least so I couldn't ask for more than that from them. Since the presentation was ready all I needed now was the courage to speak up for once. I plan to lay it all out in the open to them I just don't know how exactly. Perhaps if I wasn't so jealous I wouldn't feel the need to be so aggressive but feel left behind also inspires that aggression.
By the time I was done getting everything ready for the recall I heard voices outside. All that remained now was revealing and hoping they like it but what comes after has me the most afraid. Since I have been working here it's easy to navigate them through the darkness down to the basement. The moment of truth was hidden behind these lights I was anxious the moment I turned them on. The responses made me even happier seeing the reactions now all I needed was that Ash courage. They can't leave me behind anymore after this I hope.
" I have been planning the future of sorts... A place we can all call home without feeling like we are separated. In truth, I felt left behind by those closest to Ash and I'm supposed to be her best friend... So I created this place to be the wedding and future events. If you agree of course I did my best to bring it to life... But in truth I am acting selfishly because I want my Ash back, I know it's not easy to have so many people love her like this Gina. But the moment I saw the distance between Joy and Ash close I realized I was being left behind. Victoria brought the better me out but I can't be that me fully without Ash... God this sounds so terrible."
" She was worried about you disappearing, so I'm glad it's because of this. But allow me to make it clear now Astra is mine are we clear.?"
She said that so seriously and yet she's laughing a little as she looks at Joy. I guess I was worried for nothing.
" Hey don't worry I'm backing off, I said what I needed to already. So don't have to play clue on us Gina."
We all continued to joke around and laugh as I showed them everything. Gina loved the ideas for the future and even offered her own which helped a lot. Joy was mostly stunned into silence from everything but I could feel how happy she was about it. Now I just have to show the others and hope for the same reactions. But I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders now so it's not so bad.
© Seekerxxlight
