It was another day at school, and I was zoning out. I forgot what class I was in, what the teacher was saying, all that. The lights raining down on the room, with the little confined desk. I started thinking "It's weird…the concept of loss, we all know what it is, whether it's the dictionary definition, or personal experiences. Whether it's a friend, a family member, a pet, whatever. It's weird…the concept of loss with something that's not real, and I'm not talking about a character from a show or movie, or a game, or console. I'm talking about Delilah, Markus, the man in the closet. Everyone. It's weird. The windows are eyes. The lights are cameras. And the walls breathe. There is..no. Escape. Without the constant worrying, without the constant surviving, without the constant thinking and analyzing. What is there? Nothing. There'd be Nothing. I can't lose it. I won't lose it. I need it…"

As I was zoned out, I was still bouncing my leg, my hands were shaking, I was tapping my middle and pointer finger on the desk, and my sight was focused on the shadow behind the TV. I hated that shadow…but it was nice, it's always been a love-hate relationship between us. Seeing it slightly grow in size, or slightly nod. It always got to me. The walls too, beside moving closer and away, seeing the shadowy silhouette like figures blend in and out of the wall. As soon as it started it ended with my head jerking to the side, almost like my own body was trying to snap my neck. I snapped back to reality, looking around, looking at the lights, the walls, my desk, my hands. It all felt…off? It didn't feel right, unusual even. I realized that we've been taking notes, but I couldn't take notes, I didn't want to.

I started just copying and pasting whatever the teacher wrote, alongside writing my own thing, a lot of it sporadic and confusing. Some words or letters were huge or engraved with other words or letters, making it unreadable. There were also diagonal lines drawn on the corners of the paper, and soon enough I was engulfed in just writing, forgetting everything and everyone else. Time, people, things, everything else was so…non-existent, life was revolving around me, and me alone. It was my brain bleeding out onto the paper, the words and letters only getting larger and larger, the movement in my hand getting looser and looser. Markus, Delilah, the shadow, the lights, the walls, everything was talked about on the paper, but nobody would read it. No one would understand it. It's the reason why I wrote so big…it was like a cryptic message, only I would understand.

I was happy to feel ignored in times like these, I always felt if someone found out they'd over react, be too worried or something, and I just wanted to live. With the mix of emotions, it gave me an adrenaline rush, my eyes felt wide, my body felt energetic, but when I looked at myself, I just looked normal. It was states like this that my walking changed, but other than that, everything felt regular, normal, right. Time had flown by, the bell had rung. I put in my earbuds and music started playing as my body and eyes went...