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My Marriage
My Marriage 💍

Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my childhood days when I would act silly dramas with my peers. Spent lots of time daydreaming about my prince charming; during boring classes, insomnia nights, when my phone battery dies, even on toilet sit, the worse was during some homilies in church. Especially after I started dating Folami. Always imagined how sweet and fun filled our marriage would be.
But today when I am married to Fola, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It's not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises.
My first painful sacrifice to our marriage came three months after our wedding. That peaceful sunday evening, I showed Fola a pregnancy strip that confirmed I'm with child. Fola begins to laugh like it's a fake news.
“I hope this is a joke.” He says with a serious face.
“Emm…I don't get.” I answer confused.
“I hope you not really with child.” He holds my hand. “Baby I didn't marry you to make babies. I married you for companionship.”
“But… You…I thought…” I stutter.
“Bidemi please do this for me.” he hesitates. “For us.”
“What are you suggesting?” I begin to sob.
“Don't cry my love. We'll make babies. Just not now.” He says convincingly. “You have to let this one go. All I need right now is your company and attention.”
I went to bed crying my eyes out. He tried his best to console me by promising to buy me whatever I wanted. The next day, he took me to the hospital and ensured the fetus was removed. I couldn't tell my family and friends since I didn't want people to start butting into our relationship.
Overtime, I couldn't wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before Fola wakes up cos I have to make his breakfast. As for going out, I can't just go out anytime I want to. I'd have to take permission from him before I go out. But there're times I 'sneak' out without letting him know. I just can't hit the bed anytime I want to. And when in bed with him and he wants to make love to me, I am expected to be active. They're days am treated like a princess and there're days he would be upset with me for long. I dread those days, so I usually try my best by doing most of the things he wants. And there're days I think to myself, why did I get married at all? I was happier being single. Happier doing things the way I wanted. Cook what I want and whenever I wanted it.
One Saturday afternoon, he went out briefly and came back with a polythene bag.
“Baby here are some undies.” He says while placing the bag filled with lacy bras and pant. Most of 'em, flowery.
“These are what you'll be wearing now and not those ‘maternity’ undies of yours.” He begins to kiss and fondle me.
I moan into his mouth while kissing back. I try not to frown or complain about the fact that he called my pretty undies, maternity. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs round his waist, letting the bag fall to the floor with a soft thud as I open his shirt buttons.
“It would give me great joy when I remember you're looking sexy beneath every cloth you're on.”
We end up on the sofa where he makes good love to me with condom.
Weeks later, I fall ill. I know it's malaria cos of the symptoms I'm having. I call Fola and plead with him to get me some drugs on his way back from work. I'm asleep on the sofa in the sitting room when he gets back.
“Baby wake up.” I hear him say.
I open my eyes slightly and smile. “Welcome back dear.”
“Thanks.” He places his hands on my head. “Your temperature is quite high.” He then leaves for a while and comes back with a glass of water. “Please stand up and take these drugs.”
He gives me some tablets and I sit up and take them.
“I see you didn't make food yea?”
“Baby I'm sick.” I say slowly. “And I'm not strong enough.”
“And I'm very hungry. I need you to get up and make something for us to eat now. Please…”
“But…”
“No buts. Lying down won't make you recover speedily.” He turns and leaves for the room.
I sit for a while, contemplating what to cook. He comes out wearing ash singlet and black joggers. Goes to the kitchen and comes out with a warm glass of milk.
“Here baby.” He hands me the glass after taking a sip. “You need some strength.”
He makes me finish the milk and guides me to the kitchen. We decide to eat noodles which I make…slowly and calmly.
The illness lasted for five days. On Thursday at 10:45am, I receive a whatsapp message from Fola while he's at work.

‘Hey babe.’
‘Hy dear. How's work going this morning?’
‘Cool I guess. Had breakfast?’
‘Yes.’
‘What?’

I hesitate before I reply him.

‘Pancake and cold milk.’
‘Just that? Baby when will you start eating something more heavier?’

Before I can reply, he sends another one very quickly.

‘Told you before, I need some flesh I can hold. Need you to be chubby.’
‘Will eat heavier at noon.’ I reply quickly.
‘You had better do.’

I roll my eyes at his reply.

‘I hope you didn't roll your eyes at me now?’
‘Of course not dear.’ I roll my eyes again.
‘Had your bath?’
‘Yes.’
‘What you putting on?’
‘Singlet and boxers.’
‘Pant and bra?’
‘None.’ I start heading for the room cos I know what he'll reply me next.
‘Go and put them on now and send me a picture of you on just them.’
‘But baby you at work.’ I try to convince him.
‘Don't just get me pissed. I need the picture now.’

I have no choice but to send him a picture of me on my undies. He replies with a picture of his hard dick. This eventually led to us doing a video call while touching ourselves. I didn't really like it but I couldn't complain or refuse him cos one of the things my mother told me before I got married to Fola was to be sensitive to his needs at anytime.
Weeks later, we went for his friend's birthday party on friday night at Gold club. At the party, Fola didn't leave my side nor did he stop stealing kisses. I knew he was becoming drunk when he started prolonging the kisses.
“Baby…” I say in a gibberish tone. “Can we go home? I think I'm tipsy.” I chuckle.
“But…” He looks at my face and palms my cheeks. “Aww baby. You're so cute when tipsy.”
He picks his glass up and empties the half full cup into his mouth. Then he palms my cheeks again and kisses me while giving me some of the drink in his mouth. I smile as I kiss him back. Few minutes later we are dropped safely at home by a taxi. As soon as he opens the door with the keys and we step in, we start kissing, playing and laughing. He puts music on and we dance to it. I push him to sit on the cushion as I dance and tease him. He seems to be enjoying it. Putting my hands under my short gown, I take my lacy pant off and throw it at him. This makes him bite his lips. I go close and kneel between his legs as I open his belt and buttons, revealing his Zara man boxers. He's already hard for me. I don't waste time in taking him into my mouth. We end up making love on that cushion where we sleep till around 6:13am.
Three weeks later, I keep having cramps on and off for over 4 days like I'm going to start my period, but it didn't start. And I'm having all other symptoms I was assuming was just a-stronger than normal PMS (sore breasts, extremely sensitive nipples, headaches, nausea and hunger). I took a pregnancy test last night and it was negative. I had missed feelings about it. A part of me wished it was positive while the other part was ok with the negative result. I called our family doctor Benny about the symptoms and she advised I wait one more week before I do the test again. A week later, the test proved I was with child. I was very confused that Saturday morning. I just made up my mind to keep this one and not to tell Fola about it. I succeeded in keeping this secret for a while until he found out from our doctor. This led to us having a very serious argument. He was very upset about it.
“Bidemi how could you?” He screams while throwing the remote away angrily. “You now sleep with other men. Cos I know that thing ain't mine. We sure have been using condoms.”
“You know that's a lie.” I begin to sob. “You're the only man I've known all my life.”
“Oh just shut up.” He says “I only feel terrible for myself to have fallen for your cheap lies. You've always wanted to show me how stubborn you can be that's why you made sure you got pregnant and decided to keep the baby.”
“But it's not my fault we had drunk sex that night without condom.” I say quietly.
“Don't worry, we'd both feel the heat of this mess. Will surely make you feel how hurt I am now.” He bangs the door on me as he leaves the house.
For over two months, he kept his distance, we never had contact. I told myself that I'm not gonna let him make me lose another baby. I'm currently 17 weeks gone and I'm looking forward to holding my baby in my arms. I just hope he comes to his senses and become a good daddy cos it's hard to go through this alone, already. I can just imagine how difficult it's gonna be as the pregnancy progresses.

***THE END***