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Inner Thoughts
Today was my birthday. i just turned 19. Many of my friends wish me but i was not expecting that coz i have turn off my birthday notifications from Facebook but still 2-3 friends wish me at 12:00am.
when i saw the notifications i felt too much happy. i was thinking no one bothers about me and if you also think so wait till your b-day😂. I realized that maybe my friends are far from me (coz i was a hostler) but they still care for me and this thing make me emotional.
But this happiness was temporary coz i was missing someone who doesn't wish me. That's is my ex or maybe my love. we had breakup at the stating of September after 6 months of relationship. i don't know what was happening, i want her to msg me and wish me and at the same time i don't want. I think this was my worst b'day.
Being a clg dropout and don't have any clue to what to do is really challenging especially when you are from a middle class family or maybe lower than that.
I don't say that someone should come and give me money or something like that. but i just want someone who come and just say "don't worry, i'm with you and everything will be fine." and i was expecting it from her. but that was also not her fault. sometimes conditions are worst (or you make them worst in your mind by just Overthinking) that you have to live without each other.
I don't say that i can't live without her, i just don't want to! and i think she also feels same but that same thing caste, status....
Anyways i didn't celebrate my b-day amd just don't want to but i'm promising myself that after 1 year from now when i will turn 20, things will be different. I will work so hard (and smart) that my family have no money problem and then i will celebrate my b-day. and maybe after some years i will meet and say her that i'm now the person i used to say you i will be and propose her to marry me!
Let's see what happens, just have a hope. and if you read so far then i want to thank you. i'm not so good at writing but i want to so i just write which comes in mind. Thanks for reading. now bye bye and take care.
when i saw the notifications i felt too much happy. i was thinking no one bothers about me and if you also think so wait till your b-day😂. I realized that maybe my friends are far from me (coz i was a hostler) but they still care for me and this thing make me emotional.
But this happiness was temporary coz i was missing someone who doesn't wish me. That's is my ex or maybe my love. we had breakup at the stating of September after 6 months of relationship. i don't know what was happening, i want her to msg me and wish me and at the same time i don't want. I think this was my worst b'day.
Being a clg dropout and don't have any clue to what to do is really challenging especially when you are from a middle class family or maybe lower than that.
I don't say that someone should come and give me money or something like that. but i just want someone who come and just say "don't worry, i'm with you and everything will be fine." and i was expecting it from her. but that was also not her fault. sometimes conditions are worst (or you make them worst in your mind by just Overthinking) that you have to live without each other.
I don't say that i can't live without her, i just don't want to! and i think she also feels same but that same thing caste, status....
Anyways i didn't celebrate my b-day amd just don't want to but i'm promising myself that after 1 year from now when i will turn 20, things will be different. I will work so hard (and smart) that my family have no money problem and then i will celebrate my b-day. and maybe after some years i will meet and say her that i'm now the person i used to say you i will be and propose her to marry me!
Let's see what happens, just have a hope. and if you read so far then i want to thank you. i'm not so good at writing but i want to so i just write which comes in mind. Thanks for reading. now bye bye and take care.
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