These past few days I've been tired , physically too but mainly because I don't know anymore .I'm just trying to get through it all and I just want to feel fine , I want to laugh and I want to actually enjoy something ,if feels like I'm just getting through everyday doing what I think I'm supposed to do and when I miss any ,I feel terrible and think of all the terrible consequences . Maybe I could get like 2 months vacation to Heaven ,my replies lack energy or vibrancy ...I'm trying to get through and work on myself with God because I've gotten so distracted these past few months that I let go of really important things but I'm so tired ,I don't feel heard , most of the times I don't feel pretty ,I feel constant pain whenever I think about my life and what I'm doing with it ,the terrible possibility that since I'm not doing enough I could miss out on everything I dream of ,The thought of all the people I'd disappoint .Then one constant thing on my mind is this young man that I'm supposed to let go of ,I really want to but I can't ofc not by my strength ,God knows he's all I've ever wanted but the most important thing is missing which is a relationship with God in his life and now I have to let go because I choose God ,it hurts and I hope that he accepts Jesus full time and discovers purpose and has a nice life with Christ .What is mine will be mine and what is not mine won't be mine ,I let go and let God in both our lives seeing has I also have a lot of space for growth in my life ,so wether we get together or not eventually ,I'm letting go and allowing God work on me and him (by faith and hope and trust )
© God's heritage