My love where have you been hiding, you went away and I searched for you but couldn't find you.
You left me broken and alone for the longest time, I assumed you had disappeared forever in my timeline.
Then imagine my surprise when I spotted you out of the blue. You actually stopped and chatted to me like time had never stopped.
We made a special effort to speak often and hang out together, we were comfortable in each other's space, sometimes no words were needed, we had a kin ship that felt natural and easy,we laughed together and told each other our vunerablities.
It was so cool to have your friendship back again.
Feeling brave enough to tell you how much I love you, that I had missed your beautiful smile. I have always felt this special connection with you, you are a blessing in my life.
I have know idea what I said to make you turn on me again, you shouted with such rage that I was unloveable and worthless, who in there right mind would love me, you are a coward in life, your a living zoombie walking aimlessly with no direction or heart. Let me make this perfectly clear I do not love you , you are to broken to love EVER.
Her words cut me to the core it felt like my heart was ripped out and thrown in the trash.
Why would she say these horrible things to me I honestly don't understand, am I really the person she believes me to be. I sat at home in the dark and begun to cry, the tears stung my skin I never thought that they would stop, that my tears would flow into lakes beneath me.
Surely saying I love you shouldn't be this hard.
Never again, NEVER will I say I love you, my heart will remain behind the wall.
You dropped out of my life in a blink of an eye, thinking that was it I would never hear from you again. Besides we had been thru this very situation before.
I carried on and lived without love, without opening my heart to share to anyone.
It was a souless survival but at least no one broke my heart again.
You had hurt me so bad that I didn't care or want your friendship or anyone else's for that matter.
My life was grey without colour.
However after what I thought was forever, there you were standing in front of me once again. I found myself holding my breathe because I had no idea what to do or say.
You looked confident standing tall in front of
me. You said "I'm so very sorry the hurtful words I spoke to you, I felt sick to my stomach the way I treated you the last time we spoke."
I know it's not an excuse but I wasn't myself it was like I was under a "dark spell".
I really had to go away and work on important issues to become a better person to be around.
I just wanted to thank you for always supporting me even thou at times I would tune you out and seem like I didn't care.
You have always been my cheerleader, you are my shining star in the darkness. I love you so much you are enough for me and you are worthy of love, I will never fade away again, I will always have your back because you are my tribe, your my family.
I am lucky to have had you as a true friend . Thank you for being you, the kind beautiful loving person that you are.
Please forgive me for not respecting your love.

She smiled in a way that I have never seen before, it looked like she was glowing with such peace and serenity. Anger seeped away from me and forgiveness game to stay. I felt so happy for her. We were once again friends, this time I know it was going to be for eternity.
I smiled back at her and turned away from the mirror.

© Alexander