Just absolutely exhausted. I literally do not need no other distractions within my life right now for a must take care at hand which is sleep. so no, I don't need no one sleeping beside me at the present moment nor are keeping me awake nor playing the trombone at 3:00 a.m..

I truly need to take care of my body for it is the only one that I have though here recently I honestly feel like a been burning the candle at both ends and no I won't pretend it hasn't been hard to do so. Temptation has weighed waste to those that have fell into it.
I should have asked off for 5 days, however, I did not know what those days entailed besides the simple fact that I needed to go to Columbia, South Carolina because my father's killer is coming up for parole. I'm so ready to bury the hatchet to just move on with my life. although I know that I won't ever forget the simple fact that my father was killed. nothing shall bring him back.

This evening My sister who is 51 years old had to hide the liquor from our mother who is 86 years old. My sister returned home this evening. our mother was drunk as a skunk. This weekend I'm going to have to watch her as well. then she goes back to my sister's house. I have a doctor's appointment this Thursday that I truly should keep. however, I'm tempted to reschedule once again.

I spent some time with my girlfriend this evening and she felt so bad that I was so exhausted. we went swimming and then she fixed me dinner. it was very nice.

now here I sit contemplating the next few days, do I or don't I keep my doctor's appointment, I know for a fact that I'm not going to my father's killer's parole hearing I've already stated my case and my thoughts throughout the years. now I feel like this individual is too old to comprehend life outside the prison cells, I know for a fact that I'll be taking care of my mother this weekend. I just wish I didn't have to work Saturday evening.