All we ever knew submitted to the whims of the wind. The corner stones of our foundation kept compromise as a secret unable to indulge us with its weakness, we might have dismissed it unaware of the depth of its vulnerability. Now out of desperation we reach, yet too late, too far, too immature to begin the process of comprehending without acting like victims, being victim to our choices. All we produce now are noises, babblings of insensitivity, our words of intellectual vomit, expressions of blind perspectives, when we'd be better off in silence.

Unfortunately it took separation for clarity to sink in, to see we're our problem. We brought so much to the table yet we brought nothing.. nothing that would keep us alive. We exhausted the atmosphere of love, relying on rosy shades, sweet words embellished in gestures, but ran away when it counted, counting all our wrongs enough to fill a basket, building a wall hindering us from action. Now sadness brings us together instead of healthy experiences. witnessing what could've been in other people, fiending a connection but we've fixed our bed this way and now we lie in it.

It's late, sleeplessness now comforts me habitually, I'm hesitate, but I call because what do I have to lose.. I call anxious, I call unsure, I call with false expectations but dawn it I call..

"We could've done more,
yes part of it is my fault
there are plenty of things I ignored,
yet I tried to fix what wasn't mine to work on,
Neglecting what I could offer
if I focus on nurturing the gifts I had in store
for you...
But they died inside me through our journey,
I wanted you a certain way,
creating a cage when you just left one.
tearing you from a free space
this garden we built together,
I know it's late, you've probably move on.
I failed to love you by aiming for perfection,
when loving you as you grow is the greatest test of this affection...
a weakness I allowed to fester, fostering discontentment in my heart..
a reflection of my inner man,
this vessel of an imposter,
demanding from you
what eludes me so....
a version I can accept,
to understand I'm whole..
I could've done more..."

she responded softly
"Not every happy ending requires a union,
we've set fire to the sky
and we've fizzled away in our season,
we've hurt, we've learned,
Yes, we could've done more,
now we belong in different worlds,
thanks for the call.."

then she whispered as she hung up in tears
"I still love you"...

.... And I'll never know.

© fruitfulodyssey