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LOSING MY EVERYTHING
y#WritcoStoryPrompt120
I sit by my open window every night, letting the cold breeze blow in and add to the coldness I feel in my heart. I'm not even sure if the coldness of the breeze is as bad as the one I feel within. No matter how hard I try, it wouldn't go away. I observe the swaying trees whose beauty I never really appreciated before. The moon looks down at me and the stars twinkle. The night always give off this beautiful feel to me. Too bad that my life isn't so beautiful anymore.
Whenever I think of Dave, a warm sweet feeling blooms in my chest. But along with this comes pain and regret. Pain because I lost him and regret because I caused the loss. Fine, I was foolish and impatient but that is no excuse. I just can't justify my wrongs. Nothing can justify what I did.
I really miss Dave. I really feel his absence. He was everything for me, but I pushed my everything away. I remember the times we spent together. I remember his light kisses that gave me comfort. I remember his hugs that made me feel secure. I remember... everything.
I met Dave about a year and some months ago when I moved into town. He was the one who introduced himself to me. I remember what I first thought of him. A swindler who was out for a beautiful girl with cash. I never really gave him much attention. I never used to give people attention unless I felt they had something to offer.
Dave kept visiting me a lot, trying to know me better. I used to hate it whenever he visited. In time, I really don't know how but we became friends. Honestly, he was my only true friend. I began to crave his company. He was always so understanding, always ready to listen. He never tried to extract money from me even though he was not so financially blessed. He even got things for me instead. That really touched me.
I began to go out with him. We would go for walks and visit some of his friends sometimes. That was when I began to realize how great a man I had as a friend. He was much loved by all the people he knew. He was free with everyone, caring, kind and compassionate. He always asked if they needed his help with anything. And like I mentioned, he wasn't even rich.
I guess that was when I fell in love with him. I mean, what else could I do? He was the perfect man. I didn't expect it but it happened. I really loved him. I still do (sigh!)
Spending a lot of time with Dave began to change me too. My view of the world changed. My mentality changed. I began to appreciate people. I built relationships that I never dated to try. I began to love and that helped me. Finally, I felt peace. I felt joy. I smiled a lot. Life became more beautiful.
Things became even more blissful when Dave confessed that he loved me. That was the best day of my life. I literally saw roses and butterflies flying in the air all around me. Memories of that day still bring back the beautiful feeling.
Dave and I took our relationship to the next level. We became closer and even more closer. Things were working out for us. He even got a better paying job. We planned to get married and even began to choose names for our babies. That was when it happened.
I remember that dreaded day like it just passed by. I left my office early and went straight to the store to get a gift for Dave. It was his birthday. I was so happy and I planned to take him out later on. When I got into the house, what I saw shattered my whole world. Everything crashed at that moment. I felt my heart constrict with the worst pain ever. Dave was against the wall and a girl was kissing him.
Dave noticed me and pushed the girl off himself. He looked shamefaced and embarrassed. The girl saw me and was shocked. Guess they were not expecting me to be home so early. The girl scurried out and didn't even pick up her purse. Not that I really cared about that. I glared at the man I loved, all my expression clearly written on my face. Hurt. Pain. Disappointment. Hate. He tried to talk but I left the house, not waiting to hear anything. I wasn't ready to listen to lies. He had hurt me enough.
When I got back home, Dave was not there anymore which was exactly what I wanted. I tried to sleep but all I could see was Dave breaking my trust, breaking my heart with that... thing! That was one of the worst nights I ever had.
He came back the next morning but didn't meet me at home. I made sure I left for my office before he could come. He tried to see me at my office too but I ensured that he was unsuccessful with the attempt. I couldn't bear to see him; to look in the face of that wretched pretender.
He came by at night to plead but I wouldn't listen. He claimed that the girl was his ex (that cliche excuse) and she forced herself on him. My ears burned and my head boiled as he kept spouting those "lies". What did he take me for, a fool?! I refused to forgive him. I called him a cheat, a traitor, a cheap scum that I didn't want to have anything to do with. I said a lot of bad things that night that I now regret. That was the last time I saw Dave. That was the night I lost my everything.
When I got the news the next morning that he had an accident while driving home, I expected that it would not affect me. I was mistaken. It felt like my heart was wrenched out of my chest and I was empty. I screamed and cried as much as I could. Even when the tears would not come, I still felt hurt.
A few days after his funeral, that lady came to visit me. You can imagine how I felt when I saw her. I wasn't too pleased to see her and I ensured to drive that home very clearly. She got herself into the house (I don't remember how 'cause all that I could think of at that time was how she hurt me with Dave)
We talked. The lady affirmed that she once dated Dave. They got into a fight and broke up. She moved on and got married. Recently, her husband died and she came to Dave, seeking comfort in his arms. He tried to comfort her but made her know that he was engaged. She claimed that she foolishly wanted to turn his mind from his fianceé and make him love her again. That was why she kissed him and then I walked in.
My world shattered again; if that is even possible since it once shattered. I couldn't hold back the fresh flow of tears. Guilt tore at me as my eyes opened. Dave tried to tell me but I didn't listen. He begged for forgiveness but I wouldn't budge. Now look at where it brought me to. I killed him. I killed my man.
I couldn't take it. I just couldn't. I don't even know how I survived that night because my mind kept screaming that I also deserved to die. That was when I began to reflect over Dave. He loved me when no one really cared. He stood by me even when I pushed him off. He gave my life meaning. He made me a better woman. He gave me joy. He helped me find love.
My nights by the window are always filled with thoughts of him. I don't know if I will ever get through this. I don't know if I will ever get over the guilt. But I will never forget what Dave gave me. I will never forget Dave.
My Dave. My everything.
© All Rights Reserved
I sit by my open window every night, letting the cold breeze blow in and add to the coldness I feel in my heart. I'm not even sure if the coldness of the breeze is as bad as the one I feel within. No matter how hard I try, it wouldn't go away. I observe the swaying trees whose beauty I never really appreciated before. The moon looks down at me and the stars twinkle. The night always give off this beautiful feel to me. Too bad that my life isn't so beautiful anymore.
Whenever I think of Dave, a warm sweet feeling blooms in my chest. But along with this comes pain and regret. Pain because I lost him and regret because I caused the loss. Fine, I was foolish and impatient but that is no excuse. I just can't justify my wrongs. Nothing can justify what I did.
I really miss Dave. I really feel his absence. He was everything for me, but I pushed my everything away. I remember the times we spent together. I remember his light kisses that gave me comfort. I remember his hugs that made me feel secure. I remember... everything.
I met Dave about a year and some months ago when I moved into town. He was the one who introduced himself to me. I remember what I first thought of him. A swindler who was out for a beautiful girl with cash. I never really gave him much attention. I never used to give people attention unless I felt they had something to offer.
Dave kept visiting me a lot, trying to know me better. I used to hate it whenever he visited. In time, I really don't know how but we became friends. Honestly, he was my only true friend. I began to crave his company. He was always so understanding, always ready to listen. He never tried to extract money from me even though he was not so financially blessed. He even got things for me instead. That really touched me.
I began to go out with him. We would go for walks and visit some of his friends sometimes. That was when I began to realize how great a man I had as a friend. He was much loved by all the people he knew. He was free with everyone, caring, kind and compassionate. He always asked if they needed his help with anything. And like I mentioned, he wasn't even rich.
I guess that was when I fell in love with him. I mean, what else could I do? He was the perfect man. I didn't expect it but it happened. I really loved him. I still do (sigh!)
Spending a lot of time with Dave began to change me too. My view of the world changed. My mentality changed. I began to appreciate people. I built relationships that I never dated to try. I began to love and that helped me. Finally, I felt peace. I felt joy. I smiled a lot. Life became more beautiful.
Things became even more blissful when Dave confessed that he loved me. That was the best day of my life. I literally saw roses and butterflies flying in the air all around me. Memories of that day still bring back the beautiful feeling.
Dave and I took our relationship to the next level. We became closer and even more closer. Things were working out for us. He even got a better paying job. We planned to get married and even began to choose names for our babies. That was when it happened.
I remember that dreaded day like it just passed by. I left my office early and went straight to the store to get a gift for Dave. It was his birthday. I was so happy and I planned to take him out later on. When I got into the house, what I saw shattered my whole world. Everything crashed at that moment. I felt my heart constrict with the worst pain ever. Dave was against the wall and a girl was kissing him.
Dave noticed me and pushed the girl off himself. He looked shamefaced and embarrassed. The girl saw me and was shocked. Guess they were not expecting me to be home so early. The girl scurried out and didn't even pick up her purse. Not that I really cared about that. I glared at the man I loved, all my expression clearly written on my face. Hurt. Pain. Disappointment. Hate. He tried to talk but I left the house, not waiting to hear anything. I wasn't ready to listen to lies. He had hurt me enough.
When I got back home, Dave was not there anymore which was exactly what I wanted. I tried to sleep but all I could see was Dave breaking my trust, breaking my heart with that... thing! That was one of the worst nights I ever had.
He came back the next morning but didn't meet me at home. I made sure I left for my office before he could come. He tried to see me at my office too but I ensured that he was unsuccessful with the attempt. I couldn't bear to see him; to look in the face of that wretched pretender.
He came by at night to plead but I wouldn't listen. He claimed that the girl was his ex (that cliche excuse) and she forced herself on him. My ears burned and my head boiled as he kept spouting those "lies". What did he take me for, a fool?! I refused to forgive him. I called him a cheat, a traitor, a cheap scum that I didn't want to have anything to do with. I said a lot of bad things that night that I now regret. That was the last time I saw Dave. That was the night I lost my everything.
When I got the news the next morning that he had an accident while driving home, I expected that it would not affect me. I was mistaken. It felt like my heart was wrenched out of my chest and I was empty. I screamed and cried as much as I could. Even when the tears would not come, I still felt hurt.
A few days after his funeral, that lady came to visit me. You can imagine how I felt when I saw her. I wasn't too pleased to see her and I ensured to drive that home very clearly. She got herself into the house (I don't remember how 'cause all that I could think of at that time was how she hurt me with Dave)
We talked. The lady affirmed that she once dated Dave. They got into a fight and broke up. She moved on and got married. Recently, her husband died and she came to Dave, seeking comfort in his arms. He tried to comfort her but made her know that he was engaged. She claimed that she foolishly wanted to turn his mind from his fianceé and make him love her again. That was why she kissed him and then I walked in.
My world shattered again; if that is even possible since it once shattered. I couldn't hold back the fresh flow of tears. Guilt tore at me as my eyes opened. Dave tried to tell me but I didn't listen. He begged for forgiveness but I wouldn't budge. Now look at where it brought me to. I killed him. I killed my man.
I couldn't take it. I just couldn't. I don't even know how I survived that night because my mind kept screaming that I also deserved to die. That was when I began to reflect over Dave. He loved me when no one really cared. He stood by me even when I pushed him off. He gave my life meaning. He made me a better woman. He gave me joy. He helped me find love.
My nights by the window are always filled with thoughts of him. I don't know if I will ever get through this. I don't know if I will ever get over the guilt. But I will never forget what Dave gave me. I will never forget Dave.
My Dave. My everything.
© All Rights Reserved
