You know what I hate most? Is when I say “I get how you feel/ I know what you’re going thru” and people don’t believe me. You wanna know the truth? I do know. I’ve seen it, felt it, endured it. But just cuz I don’t talk about my experiences doesn’t mean I haven’t been there. I just haven’t found anyone worthy of listening.
Honestly I give up. People don’t understand just how far I’ll go for them…just how much effort I put into them. How much I’ve exhausted myself in every way just to see them smile. I help carry people thru the tough times because I know they can’t stand anymore. So I keep fighting when they stop. I stand strong when they are weak. Just cuz I don’t get anything back, doesn’t mean imma just leave you. I was given a heart that will get up over and over and over just to fight for those I love. And I’ll keep fighting til I can’t. Push me away, I’ll immediately come back to you.
Someone asked me why I love everyone. I love because I can. I have the capacity. I have the power. I have more love in my heart than anyone I know, and my purpose in this life is to share it with people who have never experienced real love. I love just to love.
But I’m growing tired. I’m losing sleep over it, and stay awake feeling all the emotions I take for them. I take on others problems and emotions and give all my love in return. I may smile everyday but that smile is fading. The happy go lucky girl you see is slowly disappearing. Overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness and uselessness.
© midnight._.thoughts