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A Better World--Perfect!
Have you ever wondered how it feels like when you can't experience anything around you, see the surroundings, hear the music, smell the flower or taste the delicious food? NO, you haven't....neither have I. It's not just me, or you...no body realizes the importance of what they have until they lose it. I'm Katie, and when I was 15, my way of viewing the world completely changed when I met her. She taught me to be the change in the world I like to see.
It was a bright frosty morning. The snow spread on the streets looked like crushed diamonds in the bright sunshine. My alarm beeped next to me, waking me up drowsy. I hopped out of bed without any intention for the day. Every day of my life was always the same; nothing new, nothing special, no motive to start my day. It's like, you have been sent to this world to follow this routine until you can and then die. I bent over to pick up my phone and completely got lost in my dad's photo kept beside it. Everything was great when my dad was here with me. He never treated me like a baby, unlike mom, who constantly worries, sometimes without reason. When I got diagnosed with cancer, I was miserable. And after a few days of my report, my dad passed away in a car accident. It's been five months since then. My cancer is getting better, but I feel like I'm getting sicker day by day because of the people around me who think I can die any second. When we came back home from the hospital on the day I was diagnosed, dad sat with me the whole day so that I didn't get sad. He distracted me from cancer. Dad was my best friend. Life was already unfair when I got cancer, but when he left, I felt empty. The last thing dad said before leaving me with my cancer alone forever was, "Listen, sweetie, I will be back soon with amazing art supplies for you, okay! I want you to not worry and be your fabulous self...remember, every tree sheds its leaf in despair, but a new seed always grows with a new hope."
I didn't understand what he meant back then, but now I do. My leaves shed when I got diagnosed, but if I find positive and begin something new, I produce a new seed...I will have a new hope. But dad shouldn't have left me; all my new hopes were gone along with him. I had an interest in drawing. And dad especially went to buy great art supplies for me from an elegant shop that day. I was the reason he died. I was making a portrait painting for an art competition; that's when the news came to me as I saw mom collapsing, saying, 'your father is gone.' These words haunt me every day. My dad was a strong man, someone that I could never reach to be like. When I was weak, he stayed strong for me, and that's all I ever wanted from my dad. I shouldn't have asked for those stupid art supplies from him. He gave me things that were more than enough. My mom says that it wasn't my fault, but guilt will always be there for my dad no matter how hard she tries to convince me.
My dad taught me to live on for the ones who I've lost. It's like he knew he would leave me, and that's why he was preparing me from the start. It's something that dad taught me, so I would never forget, but the more I remember it, the more it makes me wanna go to him. It's a memory that I want to keep. I know it's sad, but it reminds me that once he was here with me.
I finally got out of my thoughts, and as always, my mom called out for me downstairs. I brought the photo near my heart and wiped slight tears. I didn't want to have another worried face of mom again. I closed the curtains as it was too bright outside and got ready for school.
"Hey honey, how are you feeling? Are you cold? Tell me if you need anything." My mom came back with her millions of questions.
"Thanks, mom, I'm fine. Would you please close the curtains? I hate the sunlight." I said, sitting down at the table for breakfast.
Mom made a face then lectured me that sunlight is crucial for me and would help heal my cancer. I'm bored with my life. My mom constantly questions me about my health. Of course, she thinks I can die any minute. She always forces me to go out and have fun with friends. She doesn't know that I'm the main target of being bullied at school. I don't know when my time will be over in this world, and I will be able to go to dad. The doctor clearly said that I was getting better, but my mom's worried looks, neighbor's doubts, relative's questions, and kids' bullying tires me and makes me sicker and sicker. I want to be over with cancer, but more than that, I want others to treat me normally instead of treating me like I'm about to die. Cancer is not a word for death; it's a word for life that pushes one to live on. Being treated as I can die makes my desire to live on even less. But I can't blame mom for that either. She is dealing with the same pain as I am. She's a single mother, missing my dad every day and crying in the corners, working hard at home and work, and taking care of her child with cancer. It's not easy for her either. I...