Is it possible for someone to become completely numb? Can someone really feel nothing?

When I cry or feel remorseful it never feels real. I have been genuinely numb from the inside out for a long time. I tried antidepressants, however, they made me feel weird. Like they felt like they were working, but I didn't feel like me. It made me scared to keep taking them. So I stopped.

How can you tell if you are really okay? How can you tell medications are accurately working? I felt different. I felt happier. Was I really though? Is it possible to not know if how you are feeling is really how you feel? What if becoming numb is all I know now? How do I break that habit?
© The Writings of Jeanne Carlson