The sky was gray, clouds whisking across. The barren land held no footsteps, except mine, and the bare trees in the distance were free of the burden that they had carried through spring. I trudged through leaves and hard-packed soil, nothing around for miles except the light green bushes cowering from the hidden sun.
The earth had been forgotten, the grass unkempt. I could imagine porches containing the old grandmotherly figure, the children playing outside with their laughs and squeals. But returning back to reality forced me to remember the last sooner than I wanted. The virus, the sickness, that had killed the population still held its marks on the very ground I walked in. The laughter turned to screams, the screams turned to silence.
I swallowed heavily, continuing to walk forward to escape the memories behind me, never looking back.
I sensed a figure behind me.
I turned back slowly, my eyes latching on to a dusty brown-haired boy with silver eyes who stood in front of me, loosely holding a small purple flower. His gaze penetrated my shells, peeling back layers of grief and anger and tears coated his lashes as he looked into my heart.
I looked back at him, not daring to see the truth and I started running to him. I heard the laughs he shared with me, the whispers that made me fall asleep in his arms. I saw the way his fingers nimbly danced across the black and white keys, the way he repaired a wooden horse for my little girl. I looked at his smile, the dimples that made his face light up. I tasted his tears, the secrets and sadness he shared with me during his darkest moments. I touched his stubbled face, felt his hands on my body.
But as I ran toward him, my arms outstretched, he was farther and farther away.
And I couldn't see him smile anymore, couldn't hear his soft laughter. The landscape disappeared between us, only a dark void and the silver - eyed man was the only light that I could see.
"Don't leave me," I whispered, my first words in eternity. "I love you,"
Tears slipped down my cheeks and I didn't wipe them away as I tasted them, the reminder of the death that I had seen.
"I would never leave you, darling," I almost sobbed as I heard his voice, so far away. "But it took me," he said sadly, his eyes still trained on me, like galaxies in space. Like the never ending colors in the universe amidst the shadows. "I love you," he said as the darkness took him and I watched his ashes fly in the wind, a scattering of love and loss.
And I was reminded that I was alive and he was dead. That I was still able to laugh and smile, but he could only stare at the coffin that I had given him.
My Sam was dead and he had died in my arms, refusing to go without saying a good-bye.
I continued walking to the direction of the silver lake in the distance with my tears and memories lost behind as I walked one step at a time.