Life with SLE Lupus is not really much of a life. Ive lived my whole life unable to be who I know I'm capable of. I feel like life has cheated me. Justice is completely irrelevant. I grew up thinking that my imagination was my only limitation. But when you're sick, can't get out of bed, you find yourself rethinking everything. The next thing you know is you're missing out on everything important.
I thought life was full of choices. This was not an option, a choice, a decision, nor was it something I wanted. With Lupus everyone looks at me like Im making it up or being over dramatic. Im literally dying while everyone is ignoring it. I don't want to be noticed after it's too late. I want to be seen and heard now.
I have a life or death battle raging on a daily basis behind closed doors. I live in a state with mandatory healthcare so I have medical insurance. I don't have a vehicle to drive the 300 miles to see the specialist I need. Its almost comical to think I might die because I don't have a car. It reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents telling me "Your not gonna die without ..." .
Only this time its not a pair of jeans or something like that. It's a necessity that I can't afford. All I can do is close my eyes and hope for the best at this point. My future depends on the generosity of others. I have seen people at their worst and it wasn't pretty. Hopefully this is different. If you would like to help by making a donation please go to URL spot.fund/aYuNMD
© DejaVu