#NoMemory

Memory is that element in our consciousness that connects the past with the present. If we had no memory, there would be only one moment of our life, the moment we call now, and we would never consciously recognise more than this single moment.

He woke up with no memory, next to a dead body in his bed.
He had no recollection of their previous movements.
So many questions, with no answers in his head, who, when, where or how did this happen.
Tonight he is left feeling so empty,
With nothing in his memory to keep his hunger fed.
And has he aches for the whispers from lips calling out his name.
He wouldn't know when to answer he doesn't really remember who he is or from whence he came, it's crying shame.
And so he looked for answers in the pockets of the dead, where he found a wallet, containing a photo of a perfect family.
And a driving licence in the name of Andy Hutchinson.
Dear Andy he wondered, how did you came to be, in bed beside me with no memory, and you a cold and lifeless body.
He felt trapped in purgatory, in a world of constant dream, next to a pair of eyes with it's frozen stare. There was no more past that he could see.
And as he cried and prayed to wake up from his nightmare.
Because somehow he could no longer bear this pain about to drive him insane.
He wishes someone would pull the plug, as he shed another tear.
And as he stood in the dark and shaking his own hand for a while.
He saw the angel, the devil vanished out into the light.
As he breathe new air for another day to begin. Next to a soulless body, an empty shell. Killer, ripper, family man, who are you; he asked,
And so he took a look into the mirror hoping maybe he will know, what transpired earlier before his nightmare begins.
And Heaven fired up his blood as he waited for an answer out of nothing.
And in his static mind, all his rage and the violence build up inside.
Killing his will to control, as the body lie silent with no last breath for the life it once owned.
If only he could recapture all of his memories
And bring them to life, surely he would
Hear the distant laughter, and the body besides him would probably survive the night.
But everything in his mind has faded swiftly out of sight.
And everything before this moment now feel left so far behind.
But a diverse forms of memory can have a variety of gaps. Thus it is possible for him to represent a past situation to himself and be unable to remember his inner behavior in this situation.
And as he transfer himself back into the current situation, a surrogate for the missing memory might come into focus.
He relaised that our memory is a monster; you forget but it doesn't.
And we could live our life from history, but there's no future in a memory.
It simply files things away and hide things from you, It was time to chase the meaning and the demon from his bed.
But there's no remedy for a memory and without love, life has no great reward.
Leaving us damaged or feeling so bore, the world is already lost in indifference.
Maybe what began as a small incident ended up as hell. Deterioration of the mind and no self-control.
Now out of the ruins he walked alone, empty and broken forever lost soul.
And so he looked at in the mirror at himself, he wonder where everything has gone. Even the things he used to remember with so much clarity now seemed much dimmer.
And he wondered what happened to memories when it vanishes? What happened to events when memories ceases to be.
But one thing he was sure of, the body which lay before him in everlasting death,
Soon to be entombed in abscess and rot lie stinking in the earth.
And so he decided to bury the body just like the things that the heart can regret,
The time was already buried so there was nothing left to try and forget.
But his love's remained a mystery like a ghost in the fog,
As he set the sails one last time saying farewell to this lost lonely one.
He released an anchor to the water, the seabed far below.
He felt the grass underneath his feet with a smile beneath his brow.
And he considered for a minute
Who you he was, what he'd like to change
Regardless of the scars, and without memory or desire, he was drifting through lost latitudes.
With no compass and no chart flying through hallucination.
With Distant voices, signal fires, lighting up his unconscious.
And the secret places of his heart, as he bury the past, emptied the shelf, he decided it was time to reinvent himself.
With dead memories in his heart, but all the real memories will always be inside his soul.
But will anyone ever believe this story if ever it was told?
Maybe they might dream or remember some of the lines.
Or maybe win the games they played with naive minds.
And so he boarded up the windows, locking all the doors.
With No respite for his memory as he stumbled unable to run.
And his mind in turmoil not knowing what he's done.
With no memories to shake and no promises to break.
And his eyes are running red and so he decided to spend that weekend in his lonely mysterious bed.
And as the picture faded like a vision from his soul.
With nothing left but a single memory in the silver afterglow.


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© Nicole 🍒 JoMoRo