0 views
Troubled
#WritcoStoryPrompt118
Why do we often look for someone to blame when there is a problem? Tell us in story writing what you think about it.
I grew up with anger and hatred towards my mom. I was only 6 years on when Dad died so my mom gave me to my dad's sister. I grew up spoiled and loved by my aunt whom I call Mom. On my 18th birthday, my aunt told me everything I needed to know and how I got to be raised by her. Still I wasn't happy.
I hated the feeling of being spoiled by my aunt. I had a chance to see my biological mother and I cannot see her eye to eye. I hated her. Although I was blessed to grow up in a loving and caring home with my aunt it didn't gave me a satisfaction of being raised by her.
In my early teens, I started smoking and drinking. My aunt did not make it a big thing out of it. And when alcohol sinks in all I could ever think of is I was not good enough to be raised by my mom. It did not stop there. I began an adventure of mischief.
I join a gang of misfits on the streets, those whom have been abandoned by their loved onces, those who have addiction, broken home and more. Here I was been given anything and everything by my aunt yet I wasn't happy. No mother should have any rights to give up their child whom they have birth to to someone else. I did not asked to be born in this world.
My new adventure with all the other misfits make me wild to the extreme. Alcohol and drugs had the best of us. It's what makes the pain of unwanted, abandoned and broken go away for a short time, then repeat again. My aunt was not to be blamed but my mom. Trouble was my nickname. I was not afraid to go the extra mile to be in a danger zone.
I didn't care, my mom didn't care for me she gave up on me. I lost count in how many times I was held custody at the Police station, either a fight, drugs or a break in. Then one day while in custody one of the officer pull me aside and ask me a question that change my life. He said "What leads you to be on the streets".
I reply, "The lady that gave birth to me". At the time I was tough enough to show that I did not care of why I was held their. No remorse no emotions. The officer did not said anything after that so I thought ok that was a good one. The next day I was taken into this room awaiting for paperworks and criminal charges.
There I saw my aunt in tears. I feel for her but not what I was doing. Shes not suppose to be in that position but my mom. Would I be like this if she still had me? Would I be lonely, empty and angry if she still had me? Would I be like this? What is enough to give up on me ? Was I not enough to be her child?
My aunt gave me a piece of paper, it was a letter for me given by my father to her before he passed away. My aunt thought that it wasn't a good idea to give it to me back then until I'm old enough. But since I'm out of line for my age she knew right then that I needed to read. So my aunt gave me a hug and walked out again giving me time to read whatever in on the piece of paper.
Dad wrote that he knew his time was limit at the time due to his heart problem. He asked my mom to let his sister raised me for he knew that things were pretty hard on my mom as he was not going to be around to help her. I wouldn't understand but he hopes I will when I grow up and have a family of my own. The hardest thing mom had to do is had me be raised by his sister upon his approval.
He also wrote of the struggle they face and that they want the best life given for me and how my mom was not to be blamed and all. The letter ended with an apology for not being able to give me the best life there is. Well it was a relief to know that but I didn't feel it. It took me the whole day to process it. To actually reread the whole letter again to fully understand word by word.
That's when the roller coaster of being troubled ended. My heart dropped, reading pieces about how my mom was, when I was in her womb. Then on I make peace with my heart and turn a new chapter of my life. Free from believing that I wasn't good enough and that I should be grateful for my mom and also be grateful for my aunt that gave me a life that I never would have.
© All Rights Reserved
Why do we often look for someone to blame when there is a problem? Tell us in story writing what you think about it.
I grew up with anger and hatred towards my mom. I was only 6 years on when Dad died so my mom gave me to my dad's sister. I grew up spoiled and loved by my aunt whom I call Mom. On my 18th birthday, my aunt told me everything I needed to know and how I got to be raised by her. Still I wasn't happy.
I hated the feeling of being spoiled by my aunt. I had a chance to see my biological mother and I cannot see her eye to eye. I hated her. Although I was blessed to grow up in a loving and caring home with my aunt it didn't gave me a satisfaction of being raised by her.
In my early teens, I started smoking and drinking. My aunt did not make it a big thing out of it. And when alcohol sinks in all I could ever think of is I was not good enough to be raised by my mom. It did not stop there. I began an adventure of mischief.
I join a gang of misfits on the streets, those whom have been abandoned by their loved onces, those who have addiction, broken home and more. Here I was been given anything and everything by my aunt yet I wasn't happy. No mother should have any rights to give up their child whom they have birth to to someone else. I did not asked to be born in this world.
My new adventure with all the other misfits make me wild to the extreme. Alcohol and drugs had the best of us. It's what makes the pain of unwanted, abandoned and broken go away for a short time, then repeat again. My aunt was not to be blamed but my mom. Trouble was my nickname. I was not afraid to go the extra mile to be in a danger zone.
I didn't care, my mom didn't care for me she gave up on me. I lost count in how many times I was held custody at the Police station, either a fight, drugs or a break in. Then one day while in custody one of the officer pull me aside and ask me a question that change my life. He said "What leads you to be on the streets".
I reply, "The lady that gave birth to me". At the time I was tough enough to show that I did not care of why I was held their. No remorse no emotions. The officer did not said anything after that so I thought ok that was a good one. The next day I was taken into this room awaiting for paperworks and criminal charges.
There I saw my aunt in tears. I feel for her but not what I was doing. Shes not suppose to be in that position but my mom. Would I be like this if she still had me? Would I be lonely, empty and angry if she still had me? Would I be like this? What is enough to give up on me ? Was I not enough to be her child?
My aunt gave me a piece of paper, it was a letter for me given by my father to her before he passed away. My aunt thought that it wasn't a good idea to give it to me back then until I'm old enough. But since I'm out of line for my age she knew right then that I needed to read. So my aunt gave me a hug and walked out again giving me time to read whatever in on the piece of paper.
Dad wrote that he knew his time was limit at the time due to his heart problem. He asked my mom to let his sister raised me for he knew that things were pretty hard on my mom as he was not going to be around to help her. I wouldn't understand but he hopes I will when I grow up and have a family of my own. The hardest thing mom had to do is had me be raised by his sister upon his approval.
He also wrote of the struggle they face and that they want the best life given for me and how my mom was not to be blamed and all. The letter ended with an apology for not being able to give me the best life there is. Well it was a relief to know that but I didn't feel it. It took me the whole day to process it. To actually reread the whole letter again to fully understand word by word.
That's when the roller coaster of being troubled ended. My heart dropped, reading pieces about how my mom was, when I was in her womb. Then on I make peace with my heart and turn a new chapter of my life. Free from believing that I wasn't good enough and that I should be grateful for my mom and also be grateful for my aunt that gave me a life that I never would have.
© All Rights Reserved
