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The saltiness and sweetness
One morning, I woke up to the noise of mommy and daddy; they were once again arguing about which side I should be on when their divorce was validated.
Daddy is a seaman and he already has a new family abroad. While mommy is slowly drowning her life in alcohol and casinos, she is probably amusing herself from loneliness. I don’t know to whom I will side; I don't feel like studying anymore. My older brother is in the rehabilitation center. I was the only one he could count on so I had to be strong. As the business that mommy and daddy started went bankrupt, we also fell into debt. I don't know what else I'm going to keep breathing for, I just wake up every day to spend the days to come.
I was at school when I saw Magui and my troops. "Magui, Aiko, wait", I shouted calling to them but they didn't look at me. When I entered the classroom my classmates were gathering, it seemed like they were talking about me. CJ approached me, he lent me his notebook containing our past lessons. "Let's have a recess later?", He invited. -"Huh, okay sure." I reply to him.
"Sky, choose what you want to eat, It's my treat", Cj said to me that made me delighted. It was five o'clock in the afternoon when I got home, the surroundings were messy and silent. I saw mommy lying on the floor, "mommy, are you drunk again? It's exhausting!" I shouted at her. I noticed the bottle of sleeping pills-uncovered near to her unconscious hand. "Mommy!", My world seemed to collapse, she had ended her life. A few days after we took mommy to her final destination, the house becomes silent. I had nothing to eat or money at all, so even against my will, I sold my our piano --- our piano that witnessed those smiles as my mommy taught me to play it.
"I'm getting tired too", I whispered to myself; at once I looked up. "Is it not enough?
Kill me too", I said as tears welled up in my eyes. I took a rope, I tied it to the roof and the other end of it was for holding my neck. Before I finally did this, I refreshed our memories when we were still happy with daddy and mommy, as well as older brother.
Until my feet slipped from the chair I was standing on. I was about to run out of air when CJ suddenly came in, "Sky! Wait". He spoke, at the same time I lost my consciousness.
I woke up in the hospital, I wish I never woked up anymore. A few days later, CJ invited me to their house, they treated me like a real family member. Every week I had to go to church with them but I always fell asleep. But this time I tried to listen. "God has a plan for our lives". “God loves you”- those are some of the things that marked me. Perhaps His love is like a rough and narrow road, perhaps His love is a mixture of salt and sweetness. It is hard and not easy but I am able to breathe the air again and I will face the storms of life that may come, while clinging to what He said "I will not leave you, nor forsake you".
~thank you for reading~
© angie
Daddy is a seaman and he already has a new family abroad. While mommy is slowly drowning her life in alcohol and casinos, she is probably amusing herself from loneliness. I don’t know to whom I will side; I don't feel like studying anymore. My older brother is in the rehabilitation center. I was the only one he could count on so I had to be strong. As the business that mommy and daddy started went bankrupt, we also fell into debt. I don't know what else I'm going to keep breathing for, I just wake up every day to spend the days to come.
I was at school when I saw Magui and my troops. "Magui, Aiko, wait", I shouted calling to them but they didn't look at me. When I entered the classroom my classmates were gathering, it seemed like they were talking about me. CJ approached me, he lent me his notebook containing our past lessons. "Let's have a recess later?", He invited. -"Huh, okay sure." I reply to him.
"Sky, choose what you want to eat, It's my treat", Cj said to me that made me delighted. It was five o'clock in the afternoon when I got home, the surroundings were messy and silent. I saw mommy lying on the floor, "mommy, are you drunk again? It's exhausting!" I shouted at her. I noticed the bottle of sleeping pills-uncovered near to her unconscious hand. "Mommy!", My world seemed to collapse, she had ended her life. A few days after we took mommy to her final destination, the house becomes silent. I had nothing to eat or money at all, so even against my will, I sold my our piano --- our piano that witnessed those smiles as my mommy taught me to play it.
"I'm getting tired too", I whispered to myself; at once I looked up. "Is it not enough?
Kill me too", I said as tears welled up in my eyes. I took a rope, I tied it to the roof and the other end of it was for holding my neck. Before I finally did this, I refreshed our memories when we were still happy with daddy and mommy, as well as older brother.
Until my feet slipped from the chair I was standing on. I was about to run out of air when CJ suddenly came in, "Sky! Wait". He spoke, at the same time I lost my consciousness.
I woke up in the hospital, I wish I never woked up anymore. A few days later, CJ invited me to their house, they treated me like a real family member. Every week I had to go to church with them but I always fell asleep. But this time I tried to listen. "God has a plan for our lives". “God loves you”- those are some of the things that marked me. Perhaps His love is like a rough and narrow road, perhaps His love is a mixture of salt and sweetness. It is hard and not easy but I am able to breathe the air again and I will face the storms of life that may come, while clinging to what He said "I will not leave you, nor forsake you".
~thank you for reading~
© angie
