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Give Me Mu Bloody Soup
He was a sensible man. Many had said it. Earned his money. Paid his taxes. He took care of his sick mother even though she was on borrowed time as it is. So he couldn't understand why the barkeep of this establishment was so flabbergasted at his request. The special was soup. A seemingly vegetable laden bowl of liquid that was definitely hot from the tendrils of steam rising from the bowl in front of him. After walking 5 miles, from the last town, it was exactly what he needed to warm his belly. But here's they stood. Staring at each other like a lunch  time showdown.

The bartender decided to break the silence ," Sur. It matters not ta me where yar frum. I willn't be addin mu blood to yer soup fer anythin!!!"

  Back in his hometown, it was believed a little bit of the innkeepers blood in the soup made it lucky. His neighbor Charles had found 3 gold coins after consuming such a dish. His cousin Myrtle discovered a sheep that had been missing had returned home. Pregnant!!! So she got a package deal. Since then, he had always made the same request, but never had been so blatantly refused before.

  "Well sir. I have never been so rudely treated. Haven't you heard the customer is always right?? I can't risk breaking my streak for the sake of your reservations. It's not like I'm asking you to put soap in your baked beans! Can't you accidentally get a papercut? Maybe miss a chop cutting some carrots? "

  "I dunna wanna do et and thas final!!"

At that the barkeep slapped the bar. Hard. Unbeknownst to him, a glass had been shattered earlier. He slapped a hidden piece of glass causing a cut on his hand. The confused look on his face was priceless. The impact caused the soup to spill as well. The two fluids mixed together. Out of nowhere, a black cat hopped on the bar and started to lap up the fluid.

"Well if it's good enough for a cat....", the man scraped some away from the now confused feline and added it to his bowl. The barkeep had turned to find a towel to stop the bleeding. He spun back around in time to see the man spoon the blood away from the cat and into his own bowl before taking a spoonful into his mouth.

    The barkeep tried to communicate his annoyance but dry heaved which gurgled a bit causing a woman to scream at the sight. The cat tried to run but hit the barkeep who stumbled straight backwards. He tried to catch himself on the bar but jarred the bowl of soup instead. As he shielded his eyes a stream of blood flew across the bar. He hit his head on the hearth behind him losing consciousness. Now the entire bar was covered in blood and soup.

  The pleased patron took a spoonful of mustard, downed it like a chaser, dropped a gold coin on the bar, and thanked the barkeep for putting on such a convincing performance just to adhere to his request. He left the inn thinking what a great town this was and he'd recommend this place to his friends.


© The Moonlight Bard