grandmother fed, had enough dough to start my own business and got my diploma and I left the streets alone, relocated to New York, I'm from Chicago, I promote rappers who wants to design a platform to help and give back to the community, I even help people get out of death." he said proudly. "wow your such a good person, that's incredible." I said " yeah well you can't judge a book by its cover." he said pulling up to the jazz club. we took our seats at this nice candle light dinner with red and black draps on the wall. "order anything you want." he said " boy don't tell me that, I'll fuck around and order the whole dam menu." I said. he laugh and smiled. "What?." I asked. "Nothing, I just love your sense of humor, love your entergy and smile, to me it's more then just looks. he said ordering us two chardonnay's. "so what you mean it's more then just looks to you?" I asked "well what I mean by that is, I love your style, your laughs, the way you talk in rage, how you be model walking, yeah I see ya, you got sass, and I also wanna help you heal, I wanna show you that I'm the man you need bae." he said grabbing my hands and kissing them. I was blushing so hard, how do I respond to that. lawd please get this man before I lose my mind. "how I know you ain't trying to play me, you wining and dining me, so how I know it's real?" I asked, taking my hands back. before he could anwser that question the waiter came to take our orders. "Good evening, what can I get y'all." the waiter said. "we'll have two sweet teas and some beignets, thanks." he said "coming right up." the waiter says walking away. "how you know that's what I wanted." I said "trust me, you gonna like it." he said moving closer to me. man oh man was it me or was it getting hot in here with no air conditioning. he leaned in even more and gave me a kiss and another and another. I pulled away and grab the chardonnay and drunk the rest that was left. "too fast...it's okay I can take it slow, if that makes you comfortable." he said "no....it's just.....I never had that kind of treatment before, this is all new to me." I said our food arrived and we ate and shared a few laughs. he tipped the waiter fourthy dollars. hm I could of used that on laundry. we got back into the car and pulled up at my place. " you want me to walk you to the door, make sure you get in okay." he said, looking at me as if he devouring me in the car. " oh no, I'm fine, I'm a big girl,this ain't no night cap." I said getting out the car. he lowered his window down as I walked towards my apartment. "Ain't no body said bout coming in girl." he said laughing and shaking his head. but I kinda wanted him to come in. I was ready to feel how his body felt against mine. as I walked inside, marcus texted me. it read: I really had a great time, you so sexy mentally baby, when you ready to let me in more, and give me all of you, I promise you'll get the same in return, hope you have a good night beautiful queen. shit I was ready now. as I got ready for bed, I fell into a wet dream of his fine chocolate six pack with water running down in the heated shower. I got rudly awaken by rocks hitting my window. I got up to see what it was. It was begging ass damien. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I said trying not wake my neighbors up. "I need to talk to you, it's important, open the door man." he said "hell no, can't you get the hint, I don't want you, leave me alone." I said shutting my window and going back to bed. as soon as I get comfortable and doze off again, I hear my door bell. this better not be this nigga at my door. I opened the door and damien just threw himself on me and kissing me and started to suck on my neck and lick down my chest. he then picked me up and walked to the bed and layed me down. "no Damien, stop." I said trying to break free from him. "come on bae, you know you miss this wood." he said as he kisses me more till he reaches my panties and pulled them off with his teeth. "I miss you baby, did you miss daddy, fuck, dam, feel good huh, yeah, that's some fire ass pussy, this my pussy." he said as he got deeper and deeper. I knew this wasn't right, how could I let this happen, but I couldn't help it, I still loved him and he caught me in a vulnerable place. its was like everything was reversed to the day we first layed eyes on each other. we feel asleep after we both climaxed. the morning came I quickly jump up, oh no what have I done. where was damien, did he leave. my phone begins to ring. "Hello.." I said " heyy good morning beautiful, say u want me to come get you and we can get donuts and coffee, what you say?" marcus ask. "yeah that sounds fun." I said "Who is that?" damien asked drinking a cup of coffee. omg! this is not happening right now. I sliently told damien to be quiet. " so it's like that now, mane who the fuck you talking to, I'm not gonna be queit until you tell me, give me the dam phone." he said putting down his coffee cup and wrestling me for the phone. he got the phone from my hand and held me down. "who the fuck this is?" he said. " nah nigga, who the fuck you is, this my girl phone." marcus said. "man, you dumb ass nigga, this my girl, matter fact I need you to stop calling her, bitch ass nigga." Damien said and hung up the phone and threw it against the wall. "why would you do that!" I yelled in angry. " shit, you wasn't acting like that when I was all deep in that pussy, let me get some more, I love the way you taste bae." he said leaning in to me.
" No!...Damien stop!...stop nigga....damien get the fuck out!" I screamed so loud I think the whole neighborhood heard me. " man fuck you bitch, hoe ass mother fucka." he said grabing his shoes and walking out the door. "you talking about yourself honey, you the hoe bitch ass nigga. " I said. he put up his middle finger and slammed the door. I was so angry at myself, just when things were going good, I let damien back in and ruin everything. what am I going to say to marcus. I hurted the one man willing me to love me for me. I walked into work so miserable and disappointed in myself. "girl what's wrong with you, looking like somebody ran you over and left you for dead."candice said, handing a customer a coffee. "Damien came over last night, we.....we had sex." I said sinking my head down on the counter. "what! damien, are you fucking kidding me, amayla, why did you let him in." candice said. " I don't know, it happen so fast, I tired to stop it but...and then marcus called while damien was still there and he grabbed the phone and girl, I think marcus hates me now."I said. " oh hell no, amayla rose, girl, you know that hoe ass nigga gonna keep messing your life up and he's taking advantage of that because your vulnerable, when you gonna wake up and realize that he not benifiting you, you gotta be woman enough to not allow shit like that to happen, do what's best for you, this coming from your sister who had a baby in high school."candice said placing her hand on my back to comfort me. " I don't know......I went on a date with Marcus and it was good it was so so good...but then I wanted him to come in, but he didn't, is there something wrong with me?." I asked. "there's nothing wrong with you, he just a man who respects you, sometimes it's not all about sex, maybe you turn him on mentally, brain is beauty you know, so what happen next." she said "damien came over and threw rocks at my window, I told to him to leave me alone and then he showed up at my door and he threw himself on me, oh my God, I'm such a bad person." I said beginning to cry. "girl, you just need to stand your ground, shut him out, put your feelings aside and move on, he's not worth it." candice said wiping my tears away. "I'm glad your my sister." I said giving her a hug. "Yeah we got stuck to each other." she said as we both began to laugh. she was right, I was accepting things in a lonely place, and my mind was scarmbled everywhere. close to the end of our shift, I started to feel feverish. my stomach was tied in knots and I didn't have much of an appetite. therefore, I took off work early and went home. I was on the couch laying down feeling like I was about to die. I decided to go to the emergency hospital. it wasn't too many people there, so I didn't have that much of a long wait. then when it was my turn they ran a few tests and said to wait a few minutes for results. it was probably a stomach bug or something I ate. suddenly the nurse comes out with this strange look of disappointment on her face. "Is something wrong?" I asked concerned. "miss mongmery, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but your test results came back for hiv positive." she said as she was continuing to tell me my options, my heart sanked down to my feet. I couldn't believe what she was saying. my body felt so motionless, this wasn't suppose to be me. this is not how my life is suppose to go, how will I tell marcus, that's even if he'll even speak to me. how could damien do this to me, it had to be him, my mind was scrambled. the nurse put her hand on my shoulder. "Miss, are your okay?" she said. I immediately began to cry so hard my stomach hurted even more. "look, it's a tough thing to take in, but it's not the end of the world, it could happen to anyone, you came in just in time for us to catch it before it got the worse stage, which is aids, your gonna be fine, we have the best medicine to help you, your in good hands." she said "Thank you."I said "um-hm, no problem." she said as she walked away. I called candice to come get me, I was in no state of mind to drive my car home. I was standing outside, just staring at this prescription with tears rolling down my face. "Hey!" candice yelled as she pulled up. I walked over and got in the car. " what happen, you sounded upset on the phone,why are you crying?" she asked, placing my hair behind my ear. "I have hiv." I said and started crying even more. "What! fuck no, he got me fucked up, put on your dam seat belt, I kno it's him, we finna ride up on his ass." candice said pulling out ninety-four pistol. "What you gonna do with that." I asked. "we going to the nigga house, I'm about to fuck him up." she said, driving so dangerously fast. we got to the destination as we pulled in the drive way and she got out and made sure her gun was ready. "How the fuck you do my best friend like that nigga?" she said pointing the gun at him. damien was standing by his car with a few cousins, drinking and listening to music. "Bitch, the fuck, how you gonna come to my people house disrespecting me, scary ass bitch, you ain't bout that life."damien said crossing his arms. "Don't test me little boy, I got brothers on speed dial, with yo hiv infected ass, yes y'all he got hiv!" candice screamed to the neighbor hood. "Bitch.." damien said, as he started to attack her and fight to get the gun from out of her hands. I immediately got out the car to break them up, so did his cousins. "You wrong damien!" I shouted. "mane fuck you, nasty ass bitch, nigga ain't give you shit, fuck out of here." damien said being hold back from his cousin. "nigga you foul, she ain't slept with no body but you, you took advantage of her." candice said as I helped her up. "Mane fuck you talking about dumb ass bitch." he said, placing his hand on his gun in his pants. "you better stay away from her, if I hear you distrub her again, I promise, my brothers gonna put a bullet through that ass, come on amayla." she said grabing my arm. "you ain't about that life shawty, I got straight killers behind me, this ain't no play ground bitch." he said taking a sip of his beer and giving dabs to one of his cousins. "keep that same entergy when we pull up, bitch ass nigga!" candice said as she got into the car and drove off. "you okay?" I asked. "I'm gucci, nigga didn't even put a scratch on me." she said "girl you wild, but thank you for sticking up for me, I'm glad your not only my best friend but my sister." I said started to cry over again. "Oh girl, don't cry, it's gonna be alright, we gonna get through this together, alright, mom and dad looking down on us and your momma, fuck your daddy, he can rot in that jail, but I'm here for you, I love you sissy poo." she said placing her hand on my shoulder. "I love you too." I said wiping my tears. I was so damaged and I couldn't think straight, that bastard ruined my life, my life plan. how was I ever gonna find love now. would marcus even speak to me or would he even want to if I told him I have hiv. what if he rejects me. we pulled up to my oldest brother Mark's house. Mark and my other brother was sitting outside on the porch, drinking a cold beer. "Yo what's up my sisters from another mother." derek said giving us a hug. "hey y'all." candice said sitting on the hood of mark's car. my brothers already knew something was wrong as they both looked me in the eyes. "say what's up with you, why your nose red and eyes watery." mark said "Nigga infected her, gave her hiv." candice said. "Niggs what, mane stop playing." derek said " it's true." I said "man, ain't that the same nigga I told you to stop fucking with." mark said "yup same dumb ass nigga." candice said "mane, didn't we see that nigga fucking with old girl down the street yesterday?" derek asked. "yeah man, keyshia hoe ass." mark said "so what we doing?" candice asked "shit, fuck with my little sister, you dealing with consequences, ya hear me." derek said dabbing mark. "Fuck yeah nigga." mark said pulling out his gun and loading it. "What y'all about to do?" I asked. " don't worry about it, go wait in the house, we about to show this nigga we nothing to play with, as long as I'm alive, not one nigga gonna hurt my sister, imma protect you regardless until my eyes close for the last time, your feel me, love you sweets." derek said giving me a kiss on my forhead. sweets was my nickname derek would always call me, because I was always sneaking in the candy jar. but he never told on me, guess that's why we so close. "Lets get it, y'all stay here." mark said mark and Derek got in Mark's black tented window gmc Silverado truck and drove off. as they get to his house they park on the other side of the street and sneakly walked to his front door. mark began to bang on it like the police. " who is it?" damien asked. "Your worst nightmare." derek said. "the fuck, mane get off my porch before I blow your ass up." damien said mark kicked the door down in and Derek placed a gun to his head. "nigga what's up." derek said "fuck off me man." damien said " how you gonna infect my sister homeboy, told your ass next time you fuck with my sister, it's gonna be consequences to be dealt with." mark said "mane fuck that bitch, I didn't give that nasty ass bitch nothing." damien said mark hit him in the face with the gun. "Man get this clown." mark said derek shot him twice in the right leg making sure he wouldnt be able to walk on it no more, then they both left quickly to the truck and left. "fuck!" damien said in excruciating pain, laying on the floor. as me and candice was hanging out outside, we see our brothers pull up. "Y'all come on, we finna go to my nigga Nate house." mark said. candice and I got in and we drove out of the city into the duck off. we pulled into our cousin, Nate's house. "yo nigga whats up, haven't seen yall in a minute." nate said giving mark a brotherly hug. " shit you know, we out here, I had to put two caps in this nigga Damien, lame ass nigga." derek said "No huh, what the little nigga did?" nate asked laughing. "nigga gave our sister hiv, mane." mark said "dam for real, you should of killed that bitch, no mercy homie, ya dig." nate said lighting a blunt. "nah nigga, but I made sure he won't be able to walk on that leg no more, paralyzed that bitch, you know what I'm saying." derek said "my nigga." nate said dabbing derek. "shit, he'll be stupid to retaliate with us, I got that grenade for him." mark said suddenly I get a call, I looked at my phone and it was damien. I quickly walked in the house and went to the bathroom and locked the door. "What the fuck do you want?" I asked "amayla, you never gave me a chance to explain myself, you have your family come to my people house and mine and shoot me, the fuck, I was gonna tell you but when I saw you, my feelings took over, I never ment to hurt you, I just wanted a second chance, I'm in the hospital as we speak, come see me mane." damien said "first of all nigga, you gave me hiv, I got this shit for life, nigga fuck you and yo second chance." I said rolling my eyes. "Mane don't do me like that, I been here for you, you know that shit, you and your sister wouldn't have that job if it wasn't for me." he said "nigga fuck you, fuck them stanky ass hoes you been fucking around with, I'm glad my brothers fucked u up, matter fact don't call me, don't text me, stay the fuck around me." I said " man fuck you then, I didn't want your ass no way, matter fact I got a big fine ass bitch coming check on me."damien said hanging up the phone. "hey, amayla you finished in there, I'm about to go pick up Jay jay up at auntie house." candice said "yeah girl." I said uncloking the door and walking out. "Mark, can I use your truck right quick, finna bring amayla home and pick up lil man." candice said "don't wreck my shit mane." mark said handing her the keys. "boy boo, ain't nobody gonna hurt your precious truck." candice said getting in. "and you, call us if you need anything, me and big bro got your back, love you sis." derek said giving me a hug " for real, ain't nobody gonna hurt our sister." mark said giving me a kiss on the forehead. "thanks, love y'all." I said getting into the truck. "aye tell lil man, I got something for him, and hurry up with me truck too mane." mark said " I'll tell him." candice said as we was driving down the road, I couldnt understand why damien would do this. his words just didn't have no meaning, it's like he couldn't understand my pain. it was like some kind of joke to him, how was I gonna have kids, or get married for that matter. As we pulled up to my house, I said goodbye to candice and walked into my kitchen and poured me a glass of hennessy. I had to call marcus, I had to explain my truth. "Hello?" he answered " hey it's me amayla.." I said "oh I guess your boyfriend not around huh, what up, what you want." he said sounding not very interested on what I had to say. " look marcus I'm sorry, I didn't ask for him to come over nor did I know he was, I don't want him, I want you,I never ment to hurt you or never meant for it to happen but I totally get it if you don't wanna talk to me." I said drinking the whole glass of hennessy and pouring some more. "I mean, I though you and old dude was done, I was really feeling you, kinda took me for the loop, but I never said I didn't want to stop talking to you, I just feel like you played the fuck out me knowing you ain't over your ex." he said laying on the couch watching meet the browns. "no I don't want him, I never wanna see him again, marcus.....marcus he gave me hiv, just found out." I started to feel tears run down my face. "What....are you ok...I'm coming over." he said, getting up and grabbing his keys. "You still want me?" I asked " baby look, I'm 30 years old, like I said in the begining, I want you, I wanna show you what a real man is, I want to give you the world, show you the good side of life, I don't care you got hiv, we gonna deal with it together, I'll do whatever it takes to show you the love you deserve." he said "why you being so nice to me?" I asked "because you deserve to be happy, open the door, I'm almost down the street. "this man is accepting me for me. he see's all of me besides this disease. maybe my life isn't over, maybe I still will get a happy ending. I hear a knock on my door, I go to open it. marcus came in and surround me in his arms. I just started to cry. his comfort made me feel so warm and safe in his arms. "I got
©