How do you unconditionally love someone who is struggling to see the value of themselves and to love themselves?

How do you set the appropriate boundaries to not enable but to encourage or tough love a person to SEE they are worth loving, and until they understand that the love they give is not LOVE but is actually selfish.

When they don't understand what unconditional love is ? Because they have never experienced it?

Love is giving it NEVER TAKES OR HAS INTENT TO RECEIVE ANYTHING.. it doesn't give to get or...