I sat down, microphone Infront of me, i took a deep breath.."This is Radio Anudak.. tell your friends to tune in and keep listening for the live show performed by our own local musician Yij coming up in an hour"I silenced the mic as tunes began to play for the break.. i was cold, it wasn't the air conditioning it was my agenda later tonight I'd rid this world of a person's prescense, the world would be better if without it, my world would be better off without it.My eyes were shut, my breathing was ragged, for the first time in months i could breathe freely and not feel like i was breathing shards of glass… the air felt clean.. purified of the horrid stench i wanted to get rid off.I recalled where this all started, 11th grade. I had found a group online called Sore.. it was a chatroom for suicidal people. It was what I needed, a place where people shared their opinions on how to die, and why, while others encouraged them. It was a place to find encouragement among the mentally ill to take your own life, it was considered bravery. To plan you own death and execute it accordingly. And for those who couldn't have the courage to do it, you could find partners and comit a duet suicide or as a group. I found comfort here,.no one to tell me i could be better, no one to stop me from plotting my own murder,suicide. No one judged me.I was on there for a couple of months and i was ready, i wanted to this but i was scared.So i found a partner, someone who's calendar alligned with mine, someone who was far from saving.We had planned it, we'd leave our houses and meet up at the lake.. and we would die by poisoning.The date time and everything was set, all i needed was my partner.. i sat by the river dipping my legs in, my main plan was to die in the river and let the water carry me, so my body could not be found… i wasn't worth burying.I had expectations for poison i hoped it choked me and restricted my breathing, just like that day, the day it all began, the countless nights of not being able to breathe… i hoped it would give me satisfaction, to end it the same way it began.I waited by the river and nothing, till i heard laughter… laughter of students from each end, laughter's of people as they emerged from the edge of the trees.They pointed their fingers at me and mocked. It was all a prank, they'd used my excitement of death and lured me and made me a ridicule.I walked out of there with their laughter escorting me away.I'd never tried to take my own life again, I'd mustered the courage but fear still gripped me.One's bravery can only be measured by successfully taking their own life.It was time for the Yij's show, they were amazing, coworkers sang and danced as their song blared on the speakers mounted in the building.And soon their show came to a halt..They left the room and i sat…"There you have it people, a live performance by Yij.. we hope you enjoyed it, and now a surprise show dedicated to the AWCE Wilbur staff school, class of 1990… For the times your laughter graced the walls of heart and drived me closer to insanity, drove me to who i am today, your worlds floated atop my head and i wore them like garlands.. i want to return the favor, may the air you breath be like shards of glass , may you hurt be wounds that never heal.. I am just returning the favor on how you made me live.. may you live the same as me… i am Aidyl Timmy… "And after saying this i smiled..I cocked the gun pointed at my head and pulled the trigger.
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