I never wanted to see this story of us. I dont understand how I can still love you even though you killed me inside. The child who had another place to call home may not have been perfect but neither are you. The robot with no real tears felt every word you said in the vibrations of fears planted in seeds that grew. I know the battle was not because of you as you would say the child you were saving wanting to show more of you. The labels in searching for medicine to fix what was so badly broken became doses of a pill I was becoming. The feeling of being held down reminding me of being drowned while in your heart you were clinging to the child you never got to hold in your arms. I wanted to feel that unconditional love we both reached for. Sociopath, no real emotions you are not able to feel love if that was all true why am I crying while remembering a truth I could never speak so much so my throat would react like a hand held against my throat because I was just like my mother the woman you hated but still loved. The woman who is like a twin to your mother the woman and sister you saved from the childhood you wished you never had. Remember now I'm just like you in your eyes only a version of you the way you would have been if you had parents who cared. No mom I am not you. I wanted to be everything but me because to you I was not worth being. The medicine woman and magical being. I love you but I lied to myself for so many years as I am crying I want you to know I am and always was feeling and worth our tears. My heart felt those fears.
© LS