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SAD
Right now I feel anything but happiness, my life isn't even that messed up but at this particular second or minute, I'm unhappy.
You may ask- "why are you unhappy?" I wish I had an answer to that too but unfortunately for this brown-skinned girl, there are no clues.
when I mentioned that I didn't know why I was unhappy friend, the person thought I was crazy, people say you must always have a trigger or incident that causes or riles up your unhappiness, but I didn't know what it was in my case, so I'll go over everything that had happened today.
At 7:30 am, my brother woke me up and left the house, I was mad at him for justifiable reasons and I'd rather not go there. Today was the day I had to go see a doctor after an unfortunate incident which involved me having palpitations while in class, you can term it a panic attack but even I don't know what to call it.
Was I thrilled about going to the hospital? not really, for one thing, I hated the fact that I knew subconsciously that I'd encounter rude and annoying attendants, nurses etc. Having to have a conversation with them was the draining aspect of it, I went to the paediatrics ward taking each step carefully like I was scared to hurt my feet, I had called a doctor, he was someone I knew, he told me to meet another doctor to write down the report, At the ward I tried hard not to look at any of the kids lying down on the bed with their guardians/parents wishing and praying they were in a place better.
I eventually looked at a girl, her shoulders looked uneven, she looked weak and her condition seemed anything far from normal, I turned away, I got to talk with the doctor I had come for. she was jovial and afterwards I proceeded to the ECG ward, the attendant there was rude, she had asked a stupid question but I got past that and was directed to the EEG ward, where I was told to loosen my two-weeks dreads and come back to days later with neatly plaited cornrows partitioned into 14 pieces. I thought I would take in the information well but when I walked tears trickled down my face, I couldn't fathom the reason behind my teats but I tried talking to me like a parent.
For the rest of the day I felt sad, I tried masking it reverting to my old ways but my sadness screamed into my face and said it's going nowhere, even the people i ought to care about and cherish couldn't lighten up my mood. Life's like that at times, or maybe hearing my dad say something negative about me subconsciously stung, my parents negative words always stung, it was like I Could never get accustomed to their once in a blue moon venomous words spat at me.
I decided to write, writing makes me feel better I guess, I felt if I talked about the messed up part of my day, I might feel a little better but here I am still feeling empty inside.
© F
You may ask- "why are you unhappy?" I wish I had an answer to that too but unfortunately for this brown-skinned girl, there are no clues.
when I mentioned that I didn't know why I was unhappy friend, the person thought I was crazy, people say you must always have a trigger or incident that causes or riles up your unhappiness, but I didn't know what it was in my case, so I'll go over everything that had happened today.
At 7:30 am, my brother woke me up and left the house, I was mad at him for justifiable reasons and I'd rather not go there. Today was the day I had to go see a doctor after an unfortunate incident which involved me having palpitations while in class, you can term it a panic attack but even I don't know what to call it.
Was I thrilled about going to the hospital? not really, for one thing, I hated the fact that I knew subconsciously that I'd encounter rude and annoying attendants, nurses etc. Having to have a conversation with them was the draining aspect of it, I went to the paediatrics ward taking each step carefully like I was scared to hurt my feet, I had called a doctor, he was someone I knew, he told me to meet another doctor to write down the report, At the ward I tried hard not to look at any of the kids lying down on the bed with their guardians/parents wishing and praying they were in a place better.
I eventually looked at a girl, her shoulders looked uneven, she looked weak and her condition seemed anything far from normal, I turned away, I got to talk with the doctor I had come for. she was jovial and afterwards I proceeded to the ECG ward, the attendant there was rude, she had asked a stupid question but I got past that and was directed to the EEG ward, where I was told to loosen my two-weeks dreads and come back to days later with neatly plaited cornrows partitioned into 14 pieces. I thought I would take in the information well but when I walked tears trickled down my face, I couldn't fathom the reason behind my teats but I tried talking to me like a parent.
For the rest of the day I felt sad, I tried masking it reverting to my old ways but my sadness screamed into my face and said it's going nowhere, even the people i ought to care about and cherish couldn't lighten up my mood. Life's like that at times, or maybe hearing my dad say something negative about me subconsciously stung, my parents negative words always stung, it was like I Could never get accustomed to their once in a blue moon venomous words spat at me.
I decided to write, writing makes me feel better I guess, I felt if I talked about the messed up part of my day, I might feel a little better but here I am still feeling empty inside.
© F
