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SHADES OF LIFE by Ms.Lucy Kuria
#WriteStoryPrompt50 #InternationalYogaDay
S
A novel
Written by
Miss Lucy Kuria
Shades of life Copyright ©2021
Lucy Kuria
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author except brief quotations.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences are entirety the product of the author's imaginations. Any resemblance to actually persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my siblings for giving me the motivation to decide what I want to be and go be it.
Also dedicated to all the romantics out there who believe in a love that lasts.
Note from the author
Some books are pieces of us, some are pieces of other people while others are pieces of imagination. Then there's Shades of Life; having a piece of each. Love, hate, joy, sadness, songs, death and life.
I wanted to write a modern romantic comedy but jokes on me am not good at it. It's my first novel don't be too harsh... Baby steps right?
Table of contents
Cover page
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1: JOSH
Chapter 2: OLIVIA
Chapter3: JOSH
Chapter 4: OLIVIA
Chapter 5: JOSH
Chapter 6: OLIVIA
Chapter 7: JOSH
Chapter 8: OLIVIA
Chapter 9: JOSH
Chapter 10: OLIVIA
Chapter 11: JOSH
Chapter 12: OLIVIA
Chapter 13: JOSH
Chapter 14: OLIVIA
Chapter 15: JOSH
Chapter 16: OLIVIA
Chapter 17: JOSH
Chapter 18: OLIVIA
Chapter 19: JOSH
Chapter 20: OLIVIA
Epilogue
Acknowledgement
Other titles by Lucy Kuria
PROLOGUE
Olivia is a final year medical student with a skeptical knowledge about her 'sister ' Lisa who disappeared before she was born. Her parents didn't talk much about her other than that she will return some day. Even so Olivia feels deeply connected to her despite not knowing her at all.
One fine afternoon as she was studying in the library, her mind wondered off to her sister. She had all the while wished she had known her personally. She tore a leaf from her book and wrote;
Lisa
All the days under the sun
Yet none began or ended with you
How I wish you were here
When I was hanging by a thread
Yet I've not lost hope
That you'll surely come
Come home
Where you belong
They have not forgotten
How you warmed their hearts
All they sing is praises
From where did you get so much courage?
Believe me when I say
That I admire you so
I wish you were here
Liv
She then folded the piece of paper into a paper plane, her way of letting thoughts fly, and then put it away in one of her books. She then continued studying for her test. This had become a habit of hers; shed put down her intimate thoughts on a paper then fold it. She believed that this calmed her down and as a matter of fact, it did.
It had been a week after that day when she took up a book from the library. As she was flipping through its pages, a sheet fell off. It was the same sheet she had written. She must have forgotten to take it with her back then. She quickly grabbed the paper and opened it up. There was a sticker note on it. Someone had definitely read it.
The note read;
Liv
It's man's nature to long
It's their nature to feel lost
It's our nature to want what we lost
I believe that who you are looking for is right with you
You just have to close your eyes and feel them
Their place is in the warmth of your heart
Don't look too far
Your love is home
Josh
She was fascinated at the writers ability. It was like they read her mind. She read the note over and over. She felt happy at the writers words. She then tore a page in her book and wrote;
Josh
You are right
Even so it seems like the light is so hidden afar
A darkness that seems too thick a wall to cross
When the only assurance of their existence is the beat of your heart
And you know that when your heart stops so will theirs
I will look within for the warmth of her touch
And seek without for the days not spent with her
I believe someday...one day we'll find each other.
Liv
She wished she could meet the stranger who had brilliantly comforted her. She wanted to thank them. She pulled out a sticker note then wrote a thank you message and left it in place of the two notes. She was however not expecting them to reply to the note. She just hoped that they would read it.
Chapter 1: My puzzle
JOSH
It had been weeks since the note cycle began. One I still carry in my wallet. It reads;
My mind is a minefield of sad days
One will end and another will roll in a constant ebb
Like a switch I find things as unappealing as instantly as I found them appealing
I shy away from real; they are all masked
Tend to push away those closest to me
Attraction leads to trust and trust to love things I don't want to be propelled to
Home feels like a mythical place I've never been part of
And happy never sank deep enough to be part of me
But brokenness did; in more ways than I care to explain
Damage stains my soul so bad I can't scrub it off
I know seeing that should make me run as fast as my legs can carry me. But everything she said seems like we she was describing me.
To be honest I couldn't really tell why Liv had taken up so much space in my mind. Whatever the reasons were I needed to focus. With the silver musical coming up and mum's art exhibition literally soon after, I had no time to be thinking about some girl I hadn't even met.
I had memorized every word of the note. I had even highlighted some of the lines in my latest song. So this Liv thing was far from over. But any way I needed to snap out of it.
The library I know is where everyone went to study... Everyone except me. Mostly I went there to write lyrics. I enjoyed the serene environment and the world of books, bouts of knowledge I couldn't hold longer than my breakfast coffee.
And then my favorite book shades of life. Its where I found Liv's note. I love that she was reading it too. I am pretty sure she must love it as much I do.
As custom I had gone to the library on the 23rd of June to reflect. I found the silence restraining so I picked up Shades of life from the shelf. There's only one copy in the library so you can't really borrow it. I was flipping through it randomly when the first note fell. That's how it began.
The second time I was actually eager to see if she'd read my note. I'd checked three times but it was as I'd left it but the fourth time...and there was a reply... am not sure it should have meant that much but for some reason it did. My palms were already sweaty and my pulse was fluttery before I could get to the third line.
It felt like those times as a child when you'd write to Santa way before Christmas and he'd send your request on your birthday I loved it. I loved how she'd appreciated my gesture. Am not sure that's something to be pleased about but it did make me happy that somehow she took her time to read and write back.
I had to meet her. I needed to see her.
So far she felt more real to me than my current world. At least that's what I felt. I had to smile for the cameras in all the art exhibitions. I felt like I lived in one of those portraits my mom and I made. She was a breath of fresh air.
Someone I didn't need to impress with my songs or my art. So I needed her to stay close. She needed to be there when I felt alone. Well... It was pretty easy to feel lonely when surrounded by so many people. It doesn't made sense.... Does it?
'Hey
It's a crazy world we live in Liv....Am sorry this might take you by surprise because it's as crazy as it sounds but I feel like am outside looking in. Am trapped some place when the whole world is going round. You seem to me like you've got it all together. You are lucky.
Josh’
I slipped the note into the Shades of life right where it begins with "when the world is darker the notes sound brighter and put it back in the shelf...
I wish I could know her. Even a little.
But this puzzle I'd solve soon...
She just needed to keep the conversation brewing.
Chapter 2:
Hello....goodbye.
Olivia
Sophomore year was most eventful. I'd met my soul mate. Am not sure that's what you call your best friend but to me that's pretty much what she is to me.
She is taking a course in clothing and design something I've always had an eye on until I realize that I couldn't master the art of scissor handling and I bore more holes on my skin with my sewing needle than the fabric itself.
Sylvia. She is the via on my Olive. I know that's sounds corny but we are pretty much alike.
Am not sure the picture am drawing is what it is. Well maybe I should have mentioned opposites attract because the reason we complete the puzzle is because we are polar opposites.
She is outgoing, outspoken, extroverted, spontaneous and absolutely hilarious and so the opposite of everything she is ...I am.
In an alternate universe she'd find me boring and I'd consider her annoying. But I guess this was us being the best if friends.
She and I just clicked from the first day when we were allocated the same dorm.
.....
Its been weeks since I found a new favorite pass time...Shades of life. the Titanic ...that's what I call Josh the library guy. Dont get me wrong though...He is not the big ship that capsizes at sea. He is just the big ship...
He folds his notes in the form of a ship while mine are made into a plane.... Pretty childish... right? I thought so too.
But between hanging out with my best friend, my coursework and the comics, I am pretty much stretched thin. I have no time for anything else .... well apart from this note relationship I like so much.
Via and I talk about him all the time. What if he is a freak or a serial killer and you are his next prey...?"she'd say with that lousy grin on her face ...that transforms to a crazy laughter.
Not that I have not thought about it before. But Josh didn't give me bad vibes. He seems descent. Maybe...
I don't know why I can't bring myself to be cynical about him. If the circumstances were different I'd be surprised at myself for being so nonchalant.
Anyways its not like he asked me anything that would make me doubt him...
......
Its the third note I got from him this week. I hate that I like reading these sailing ships so much. I hate that I am actually replying to him so fast. And I hate that I hating myself for looking forward to reading one more note.
I actually think I know so much about this ship stranger more than I do most of my course mates.
I flip through the book to see if there's anything in it one more time but there's nothing. My heart falls to the ground. I hate that too...
As I put the book back on the shelf a strip sheet falls of ...probably nothing ...but I check anyway ...its not a ship ..."Liv keep sailing ...the shore's approaching... The horizon draws near..."I gasp.
My heart flutters...
Its crazy...I am crazy...
There're numbers at the bottom ...micro sized ...maybe an address ...no ...phone number ...my heart flutters ...again.
Once in my room. I debate telling Via my new treasure. Maybe the debate is actually confirming whether it's him...I take several controlled breathed ...systematic ...then I dial the number...."There's no turning back now... I tell myself.
I inhale but actually find it hard to exhale.
I try to push past the sheen of moisture developing in my palms...
Its ringing ....my heart's pounding...
Its him...
He picks on the third ring...
"Hello," he says...
Silence...I can't speak...
I can't find my voice...
"Hello," the voice echoes...
Words...they disappeared...
"Liv...its Josh... He says.
How did he know ...he didn't...its a gut feeling?
I can't speak...I can't breathe ...not with him in my ear...
Heart's pounding...
Palms sweating...
"Goodbye, "I say ...in a whisper ...
I disconnect...
"Nice going Liv," my mind says, "you couldn't even come up with a better word ...'hello...goodbye'. It teases.
Chapter 3:
SHUT UP JOSH...
JOSH
I was sure it was her. It had to be. It must be...
I couldn't sit still. I should call her ...I sit fidgeting waiting for the thought to take root in my head...
"Go for it Josh," it feels like my heart and mind have teamed up to form a cheering squad. I don't like it....
It makes me fidget some more.
I dial back the number .it rings ...once then .... voicemail ..."Hello this is Olivia leave a message..."
It was her.
That was her voice...
My hearts in my hand...right there next to my phone.
I don't even know what to say ...I disconnect the call...
"This is Olivia leave a message... I say it out loud...
I breathe heavier but each breath seems insufficient. I wish I can take in more...
Am drowning in her voice...Keep swimming Josh... Keep sailing
"This is Olivia... My mind sings
My heart sinks
Am no longer floating
Am drowning in the thoughts...so many competing for my attention...
"Hush now Josh calm down I say ...except I can't hear myself ...Louder
"SHUT UP JOSH this time its quiet ...now I can think ...
Chapter 4:
LETS LAUGH
OLIVIA
I was still staring at the phone when it rang ...it was him. I wanted to hear him talk. Except I had nothing to say...of course I did...a lot...questions... More questions than stories and more stories ... There were words too many to fit in a note ...they could only be said. Except when I had the chance...I froze...
How embarrassing... He must think I am a freak...
I sit...but I can't think.
I stand...I can't breathe
I set my elbows on my knees. I breathe...slow then fast then slow...
I must be bewitched...how else you explain this reaction ...maybe cursed in the least...its not normal though .... or am I mad ...mad like crazy ...that fits best...
Via walks in.
"Oh my God .... where have you been ...? I have been waiting for you...? " I say.
I am pacing. My hands flying in the air.
She stands still ...undazed by my mental breakdown..."Get a hold of yourself. Ive never seen you like this...what's up via?" She asks ...
"I found a note ...it had a number ...and... and I dialed... It was Josh ...I froze...and ...I couldn't speak ...and... He knew it was me ...And... And... And am bewitched ...he knew it was me. Or am crazy ...I can't breathe. And I can't think... Something is wrong definitely wrong...How the hell would he know it was me?" I burst out ...Am not sure she got everything ...I just threw my hands up a lot...I heave looking at hear ...she stokes her chin ...classic via.
She smiles then burst out in an uncontrolled laughter.
"Wow ...so supportive ...my best friend is laughing in the middle of a crisis." I say. ...Emotional crisis...is it through or am I over reacting ...
I stare...
Her eyes are teary ...she laughs louder
"Have a look at yourself. You look like you've seen a ghost." She says
She shifts pointing to the mirror at the corner...
Yeah I deserve that ...my hair is all over my face ...my forehead is starting to form sweat dots ...I look like the human version of heart attack...
She sits me down and asks me to breath...I do.
We go over the whole thing...doesn't sound so messed up...I remember switching my phone off before the second ring...
I look at it but suddenly it looks like a leprous toe...
I shouldn't have called.
What's that feeling...? I don't like it...
My life has become a joke ...a comic book.
Chapter 5: FUSED WITHOUT SEAMS
JOSH
I sent her a text. It has been 14minutes almost 15...but she hasn't replied...I wait...I check my phone...nothing. I keep looking at the screen even though the ringer volume is at maximum and I haven't gone a second without refreshing it for new messages.
I wait...
Not yet...
Maybe she is busy .... or she is ignoring me...
I try to push down the latter option back to where it came from...I drown in it. That makes me sad...
I wait...my phone vibrates...my hand rushed to pick it...
It's her
Liv: Sorry I was in class.
I smile...I keep smiling.
Liv: I can't talk now though... I'm headed for another class.
My heart drops to the floor...I start to fidget stamping my foot...
Me: its okay am also busy.
I lie...
Liv: Okay
Am not sure what to say ...catch you later? Till what time? I lied about being busy... Nice class. Cant wait to hear from you .... tell me when you are done ...am glad you texted ...I want to talk to you all the time...
Me: okay
Its depressing not being able to text her whenever. But its okay I now have her number it won't be long before I get to see her...The thought just floats on my mind and my heart flatters.
I get myself busy with my guitar...
I run the chords but they seem sad...my heart's sad.
I want to write a song ...I want to write about her...
"Hello...goodbye," I laugh.
That was awkward...awkward first words.
I spend another hour practicing the song for my solo audition...
Its nice...I wrote it...thinking of her.
It is about how strangers become family. How bonds are knit without seams. She is my puzzle.
I like life better with her in it...
Its been four hours...I spent all of it coming up with words...There are none other than I can't get you out of my head. I mean I spent the largest chunk of this time thinking about her. Maybe 99% of it. The one percent is the one I spent thinking how I burnt my food because I thinking about her...
I should text her. How long can a class be anyway?
Me: Hello
My phone pings almost immediately.
Liv: Hey...You done with what you were doing earlier?
Me: Yes, you done with class.
Liv: Yes
Liv: What were you doing earlier...?
Me: Running some chords...
Me: Busy day?
Liv: Not so much...well not like most days
Me Really? What are most days like?
Liv: From class to the hospital .36 hours of without sleep...
Me: Am not a student anymore. But I was...last year.
Liv: Did you graduate already?
Me: yes. Thought I'd kill some time while still taking a side hustle in music. Am not so much a career person.
Liv: oh really. That .... I don't know.... weird ...I didn't know that was real. What about the bills?
Me: why weird?
The dots appear on my screen... Then disappear... Then appear...then disappear...
She doesn't reply for another like 20minutes
She called later to say that something came up and that she was sorry.
I get busy with my rehearsals for another hour before I take a shower.
Mum invited me to have dinner tonight. Am excited to see her. I haven't seen her in a month. Shed been busy in the office and called me to say she won't make it to our family dinner after her flight was delayed last Wednesday.
Am also excited to see what she has made for her upcoming exhibition. Mum is a really talented artist. She is a natural.
I walk in on her just as she is setting the table. The smell is just out of this world. Her cooking is just explicit.
"Hello mum." I say removing my coat as I hang it by the door.
"Hello honey, I was starting to think you won't make it. you are so late." She says smiling.
"Sorry mom ... I just couldn't navigate through the traffic fast enough... I say as I walk into the kitchen.
I give her the bouquet of dahlias I ordered for her ...They are her favorite. She smiles sniffing them.
Then replaces the ones in the vase with the fresh ones.
I lean in and hug her and give her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"As so hungry!" I say rubbing my palms. Whats for dinner?"...I turn up the plate on the dinner table." There's everything you love...she says leaning in as she passes the first dish...chicken enchilada casserole... I grin.
"What's the occasion?" I ask.
"Am seeing my son after a month ..." She says. I was kind of hoping it will be my apology for bailing on you last time." She says trying to hide her long face.
"Are you bribing me ..." I say teasingly to ease her worry. I know how much our weekly dinner means to her.
"Its okay mum ...you were busy. It was not your fault." I s
S
A novel
Written by
Miss Lucy Kuria
Shades of life Copyright ©2021
Lucy Kuria
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author except brief quotations.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences are entirety the product of the author's imaginations. Any resemblance to actually persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my siblings for giving me the motivation to decide what I want to be and go be it.
Also dedicated to all the romantics out there who believe in a love that lasts.
Note from the author
Some books are pieces of us, some are pieces of other people while others are pieces of imagination. Then there's Shades of Life; having a piece of each. Love, hate, joy, sadness, songs, death and life.
I wanted to write a modern romantic comedy but jokes on me am not good at it. It's my first novel don't be too harsh... Baby steps right?
Table of contents
Cover page
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1: JOSH
Chapter 2: OLIVIA
Chapter3: JOSH
Chapter 4: OLIVIA
Chapter 5: JOSH
Chapter 6: OLIVIA
Chapter 7: JOSH
Chapter 8: OLIVIA
Chapter 9: JOSH
Chapter 10: OLIVIA
Chapter 11: JOSH
Chapter 12: OLIVIA
Chapter 13: JOSH
Chapter 14: OLIVIA
Chapter 15: JOSH
Chapter 16: OLIVIA
Chapter 17: JOSH
Chapter 18: OLIVIA
Chapter 19: JOSH
Chapter 20: OLIVIA
Epilogue
Acknowledgement
Other titles by Lucy Kuria
PROLOGUE
Olivia is a final year medical student with a skeptical knowledge about her 'sister ' Lisa who disappeared before she was born. Her parents didn't talk much about her other than that she will return some day. Even so Olivia feels deeply connected to her despite not knowing her at all.
One fine afternoon as she was studying in the library, her mind wondered off to her sister. She had all the while wished she had known her personally. She tore a leaf from her book and wrote;
Lisa
All the days under the sun
Yet none began or ended with you
How I wish you were here
When I was hanging by a thread
Yet I've not lost hope
That you'll surely come
Come home
Where you belong
They have not forgotten
How you warmed their hearts
All they sing is praises
From where did you get so much courage?
Believe me when I say
That I admire you so
I wish you were here
Liv
She then folded the piece of paper into a paper plane, her way of letting thoughts fly, and then put it away in one of her books. She then continued studying for her test. This had become a habit of hers; shed put down her intimate thoughts on a paper then fold it. She believed that this calmed her down and as a matter of fact, it did.
It had been a week after that day when she took up a book from the library. As she was flipping through its pages, a sheet fell off. It was the same sheet she had written. She must have forgotten to take it with her back then. She quickly grabbed the paper and opened it up. There was a sticker note on it. Someone had definitely read it.
The note read;
Liv
It's man's nature to long
It's their nature to feel lost
It's our nature to want what we lost
I believe that who you are looking for is right with you
You just have to close your eyes and feel them
Their place is in the warmth of your heart
Don't look too far
Your love is home
Josh
She was fascinated at the writers ability. It was like they read her mind. She read the note over and over. She felt happy at the writers words. She then tore a page in her book and wrote;
Josh
You are right
Even so it seems like the light is so hidden afar
A darkness that seems too thick a wall to cross
When the only assurance of their existence is the beat of your heart
And you know that when your heart stops so will theirs
I will look within for the warmth of her touch
And seek without for the days not spent with her
I believe someday...one day we'll find each other.
Liv
She wished she could meet the stranger who had brilliantly comforted her. She wanted to thank them. She pulled out a sticker note then wrote a thank you message and left it in place of the two notes. She was however not expecting them to reply to the note. She just hoped that they would read it.
Chapter 1: My puzzle
JOSH
It had been weeks since the note cycle began. One I still carry in my wallet. It reads;
My mind is a minefield of sad days
One will end and another will roll in a constant ebb
Like a switch I find things as unappealing as instantly as I found them appealing
I shy away from real; they are all masked
Tend to push away those closest to me
Attraction leads to trust and trust to love things I don't want to be propelled to
Home feels like a mythical place I've never been part of
And happy never sank deep enough to be part of me
But brokenness did; in more ways than I care to explain
Damage stains my soul so bad I can't scrub it off
I know seeing that should make me run as fast as my legs can carry me. But everything she said seems like we she was describing me.
To be honest I couldn't really tell why Liv had taken up so much space in my mind. Whatever the reasons were I needed to focus. With the silver musical coming up and mum's art exhibition literally soon after, I had no time to be thinking about some girl I hadn't even met.
I had memorized every word of the note. I had even highlighted some of the lines in my latest song. So this Liv thing was far from over. But any way I needed to snap out of it.
The library I know is where everyone went to study... Everyone except me. Mostly I went there to write lyrics. I enjoyed the serene environment and the world of books, bouts of knowledge I couldn't hold longer than my breakfast coffee.
And then my favorite book shades of life. Its where I found Liv's note. I love that she was reading it too. I am pretty sure she must love it as much I do.
As custom I had gone to the library on the 23rd of June to reflect. I found the silence restraining so I picked up Shades of life from the shelf. There's only one copy in the library so you can't really borrow it. I was flipping through it randomly when the first note fell. That's how it began.
The second time I was actually eager to see if she'd read my note. I'd checked three times but it was as I'd left it but the fourth time...and there was a reply... am not sure it should have meant that much but for some reason it did. My palms were already sweaty and my pulse was fluttery before I could get to the third line.
It felt like those times as a child when you'd write to Santa way before Christmas and he'd send your request on your birthday I loved it. I loved how she'd appreciated my gesture. Am not sure that's something to be pleased about but it did make me happy that somehow she took her time to read and write back.
I had to meet her. I needed to see her.
So far she felt more real to me than my current world. At least that's what I felt. I had to smile for the cameras in all the art exhibitions. I felt like I lived in one of those portraits my mom and I made. She was a breath of fresh air.
Someone I didn't need to impress with my songs or my art. So I needed her to stay close. She needed to be there when I felt alone. Well... It was pretty easy to feel lonely when surrounded by so many people. It doesn't made sense.... Does it?
'Hey
It's a crazy world we live in Liv....Am sorry this might take you by surprise because it's as crazy as it sounds but I feel like am outside looking in. Am trapped some place when the whole world is going round. You seem to me like you've got it all together. You are lucky.
Josh’
I slipped the note into the Shades of life right where it begins with "when the world is darker the notes sound brighter and put it back in the shelf...
I wish I could know her. Even a little.
But this puzzle I'd solve soon...
She just needed to keep the conversation brewing.
Chapter 2:
Hello....goodbye.
Olivia
Sophomore year was most eventful. I'd met my soul mate. Am not sure that's what you call your best friend but to me that's pretty much what she is to me.
She is taking a course in clothing and design something I've always had an eye on until I realize that I couldn't master the art of scissor handling and I bore more holes on my skin with my sewing needle than the fabric itself.
Sylvia. She is the via on my Olive. I know that's sounds corny but we are pretty much alike.
Am not sure the picture am drawing is what it is. Well maybe I should have mentioned opposites attract because the reason we complete the puzzle is because we are polar opposites.
She is outgoing, outspoken, extroverted, spontaneous and absolutely hilarious and so the opposite of everything she is ...I am.
In an alternate universe she'd find me boring and I'd consider her annoying. But I guess this was us being the best if friends.
She and I just clicked from the first day when we were allocated the same dorm.
.....
Its been weeks since I found a new favorite pass time...Shades of life. the Titanic ...that's what I call Josh the library guy. Dont get me wrong though...He is not the big ship that capsizes at sea. He is just the big ship...
He folds his notes in the form of a ship while mine are made into a plane.... Pretty childish... right? I thought so too.
But between hanging out with my best friend, my coursework and the comics, I am pretty much stretched thin. I have no time for anything else .... well apart from this note relationship I like so much.
Via and I talk about him all the time. What if he is a freak or a serial killer and you are his next prey...?"she'd say with that lousy grin on her face ...that transforms to a crazy laughter.
Not that I have not thought about it before. But Josh didn't give me bad vibes. He seems descent. Maybe...
I don't know why I can't bring myself to be cynical about him. If the circumstances were different I'd be surprised at myself for being so nonchalant.
Anyways its not like he asked me anything that would make me doubt him...
......
Its the third note I got from him this week. I hate that I like reading these sailing ships so much. I hate that I am actually replying to him so fast. And I hate that I hating myself for looking forward to reading one more note.
I actually think I know so much about this ship stranger more than I do most of my course mates.
I flip through the book to see if there's anything in it one more time but there's nothing. My heart falls to the ground. I hate that too...
As I put the book back on the shelf a strip sheet falls of ...probably nothing ...but I check anyway ...its not a ship ..."Liv keep sailing ...the shore's approaching... The horizon draws near..."I gasp.
My heart flutters...
Its crazy...I am crazy...
There're numbers at the bottom ...micro sized ...maybe an address ...no ...phone number ...my heart flutters ...again.
Once in my room. I debate telling Via my new treasure. Maybe the debate is actually confirming whether it's him...I take several controlled breathed ...systematic ...then I dial the number...."There's no turning back now... I tell myself.
I inhale but actually find it hard to exhale.
I try to push past the sheen of moisture developing in my palms...
Its ringing ....my heart's pounding...
Its him...
He picks on the third ring...
"Hello," he says...
Silence...I can't speak...
I can't find my voice...
"Hello," the voice echoes...
Words...they disappeared...
"Liv...its Josh... He says.
How did he know ...he didn't...its a gut feeling?
I can't speak...I can't breathe ...not with him in my ear...
Heart's pounding...
Palms sweating...
"Goodbye, "I say ...in a whisper ...
I disconnect...
"Nice going Liv," my mind says, "you couldn't even come up with a better word ...'hello...goodbye'. It teases.
Chapter 3:
SHUT UP JOSH...
JOSH
I was sure it was her. It had to be. It must be...
I couldn't sit still. I should call her ...I sit fidgeting waiting for the thought to take root in my head...
"Go for it Josh," it feels like my heart and mind have teamed up to form a cheering squad. I don't like it....
It makes me fidget some more.
I dial back the number .it rings ...once then .... voicemail ..."Hello this is Olivia leave a message..."
It was her.
That was her voice...
My hearts in my hand...right there next to my phone.
I don't even know what to say ...I disconnect the call...
"This is Olivia leave a message... I say it out loud...
I breathe heavier but each breath seems insufficient. I wish I can take in more...
Am drowning in her voice...Keep swimming Josh... Keep sailing
"This is Olivia... My mind sings
My heart sinks
Am no longer floating
Am drowning in the thoughts...so many competing for my attention...
"Hush now Josh calm down I say ...except I can't hear myself ...Louder
"SHUT UP JOSH this time its quiet ...now I can think ...
Chapter 4:
LETS LAUGH
OLIVIA
I was still staring at the phone when it rang ...it was him. I wanted to hear him talk. Except I had nothing to say...of course I did...a lot...questions... More questions than stories and more stories ... There were words too many to fit in a note ...they could only be said. Except when I had the chance...I froze...
How embarrassing... He must think I am a freak...
I sit...but I can't think.
I stand...I can't breathe
I set my elbows on my knees. I breathe...slow then fast then slow...
I must be bewitched...how else you explain this reaction ...maybe cursed in the least...its not normal though .... or am I mad ...mad like crazy ...that fits best...
Via walks in.
"Oh my God .... where have you been ...? I have been waiting for you...? " I say.
I am pacing. My hands flying in the air.
She stands still ...undazed by my mental breakdown..."Get a hold of yourself. Ive never seen you like this...what's up via?" She asks ...
"I found a note ...it had a number ...and... and I dialed... It was Josh ...I froze...and ...I couldn't speak ...and... He knew it was me ...And... And... And am bewitched ...he knew it was me. Or am crazy ...I can't breathe. And I can't think... Something is wrong definitely wrong...How the hell would he know it was me?" I burst out ...Am not sure she got everything ...I just threw my hands up a lot...I heave looking at hear ...she stokes her chin ...classic via.
She smiles then burst out in an uncontrolled laughter.
"Wow ...so supportive ...my best friend is laughing in the middle of a crisis." I say. ...Emotional crisis...is it through or am I over reacting ...
I stare...
Her eyes are teary ...she laughs louder
"Have a look at yourself. You look like you've seen a ghost." She says
She shifts pointing to the mirror at the corner...
Yeah I deserve that ...my hair is all over my face ...my forehead is starting to form sweat dots ...I look like the human version of heart attack...
She sits me down and asks me to breath...I do.
We go over the whole thing...doesn't sound so messed up...I remember switching my phone off before the second ring...
I look at it but suddenly it looks like a leprous toe...
I shouldn't have called.
What's that feeling...? I don't like it...
My life has become a joke ...a comic book.
Chapter 5: FUSED WITHOUT SEAMS
JOSH
I sent her a text. It has been 14minutes almost 15...but she hasn't replied...I wait...I check my phone...nothing. I keep looking at the screen even though the ringer volume is at maximum and I haven't gone a second without refreshing it for new messages.
I wait...
Not yet...
Maybe she is busy .... or she is ignoring me...
I try to push down the latter option back to where it came from...I drown in it. That makes me sad...
I wait...my phone vibrates...my hand rushed to pick it...
It's her
Liv: Sorry I was in class.
I smile...I keep smiling.
Liv: I can't talk now though... I'm headed for another class.
My heart drops to the floor...I start to fidget stamping my foot...
Me: its okay am also busy.
I lie...
Liv: Okay
Am not sure what to say ...catch you later? Till what time? I lied about being busy... Nice class. Cant wait to hear from you .... tell me when you are done ...am glad you texted ...I want to talk to you all the time...
Me: okay
Its depressing not being able to text her whenever. But its okay I now have her number it won't be long before I get to see her...The thought just floats on my mind and my heart flatters.
I get myself busy with my guitar...
I run the chords but they seem sad...my heart's sad.
I want to write a song ...I want to write about her...
"Hello...goodbye," I laugh.
That was awkward...awkward first words.
I spend another hour practicing the song for my solo audition...
Its nice...I wrote it...thinking of her.
It is about how strangers become family. How bonds are knit without seams. She is my puzzle.
I like life better with her in it...
Its been four hours...I spent all of it coming up with words...There are none other than I can't get you out of my head. I mean I spent the largest chunk of this time thinking about her. Maybe 99% of it. The one percent is the one I spent thinking how I burnt my food because I thinking about her...
I should text her. How long can a class be anyway?
Me: Hello
My phone pings almost immediately.
Liv: Hey...You done with what you were doing earlier?
Me: Yes, you done with class.
Liv: Yes
Liv: What were you doing earlier...?
Me: Running some chords...
Me: Busy day?
Liv: Not so much...well not like most days
Me Really? What are most days like?
Liv: From class to the hospital .36 hours of without sleep...
Me: Am not a student anymore. But I was...last year.
Liv: Did you graduate already?
Me: yes. Thought I'd kill some time while still taking a side hustle in music. Am not so much a career person.
Liv: oh really. That .... I don't know.... weird ...I didn't know that was real. What about the bills?
Me: why weird?
The dots appear on my screen... Then disappear... Then appear...then disappear...
She doesn't reply for another like 20minutes
She called later to say that something came up and that she was sorry.
I get busy with my rehearsals for another hour before I take a shower.
Mum invited me to have dinner tonight. Am excited to see her. I haven't seen her in a month. Shed been busy in the office and called me to say she won't make it to our family dinner after her flight was delayed last Wednesday.
Am also excited to see what she has made for her upcoming exhibition. Mum is a really talented artist. She is a natural.
I walk in on her just as she is setting the table. The smell is just out of this world. Her cooking is just explicit.
"Hello mum." I say removing my coat as I hang it by the door.
"Hello honey, I was starting to think you won't make it. you are so late." She says smiling.
"Sorry mom ... I just couldn't navigate through the traffic fast enough... I say as I walk into the kitchen.
I give her the bouquet of dahlias I ordered for her ...They are her favorite. She smiles sniffing them.
Then replaces the ones in the vase with the fresh ones.
I lean in and hug her and give her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"As so hungry!" I say rubbing my palms. Whats for dinner?"...I turn up the plate on the dinner table." There's everything you love...she says leaning in as she passes the first dish...chicken enchilada casserole... I grin.
"What's the occasion?" I ask.
"Am seeing my son after a month ..." She says. I was kind of hoping it will be my apology for bailing on you last time." She says trying to hide her long face.
"Are you bribing me ..." I say teasingly to ease her worry. I know how much our weekly dinner means to her.
"Its okay mum ...you were busy. It was not your fault." I s
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