I never felt more alone in my own home. She steps downstairs without asking for my help. She has already made up her mind about me. In her eyes I am a cheating husband and a crappy one to say the very least. I know the illness has made her slightly more different in perspective and in general, but I have always cared for her well being even if our love has somehow diminished. While I don’t know how things could have possibly gone this far down hill. I do know our marriage is pretty much over. What hurts me most is that I never intended to hurt her. I was just being honest in how I felt due to the two of us being so incompatible. There’s not much more to do at this point, but be there for her and help as much as I can for as long as she allows me to. In the end if this was true love, I belive it could have been worked out but our differences and her expectations of me never being met, truly shows that you shouldn’t drag things far because of comfortablility with one another. Eventually hurting is to come and it isn’t a good feeling at all. I’ve learned to remain strong as I’m certain she will to, and I have faith she will pull through because I just want her to be happy even if it’s not with me.

© Johnny Cigars