You know, as you get older, you’ve come to realize how life can be both simple and complicated sometimes (for the lack of better words to compare it with).

And also both comforting and frustrating it is, at the same time.

See this; happiness can be much simpler than you think it is:

- An empty laundry basket.
- Fresh and newly changed pillowcase, blanket, and bedsheet.
- A new sponge and no dirty dishes in your kitchen sink.
- Family, as your source of strength.
- Friends who’ll always be there.
- Someone who makes you smile just by the thought of them.
- A good night's sleep.
- Silence.

And also complicated.
And harsh.

And hard:

- Deadlines.
- Bills.
- Responsibilities.
- Family issues and different priorities in life.
- Friends who keep breaking your heart.
- The heartbreak you can’t just shake.
- The same old nightmare that you’ll never wish to fall asleep again.
- Silence. The deafening silence.

It’s both funny and sad how simple things can make you happy and yet, at the same time, how it can be complicated as much as it’s supposed to be.

I guess that’s because we’re human. We like to complicate things.

No, we don’t like it.

It’s just that. Some things are out of our control.

Funny, how you used to hate it and wish no one can control you.

Not your parents. Not your teacher.

Sad;
Now, anything can be under your control, no one can dictate you, but still you can’t manage to do so.

The world keeps spinning and spinning. And you, you’re just going along with it… in circles.

Back in the same place. Over and over again.

So much for being in control, eh.

Funny, how picky you were with what you eat,

And sad, on not choosing on whom you let in your life.

Just because they made you happy.

Not knowing they’ll make you sad, even when they’re no longer in your life.

See, life is sometimes wanting to get your shit together then thrashing everything your eyes can see.

Wanting to scream to your heart’s content then wanting utter silence, you wish you can’t talk nor hear anything anymore.

Maybe if you can’t see it, if you can’t hear it, it won’t break you.

Choosing what is sadder: crying hysterically or crying in silence.

I don’t know what’s sadder to you, but to me, it’s sad seeing someone you dearly love, breaking in front of you and you’ve got nothing to say to make it feel better.

Hearing words like,

Where did I go wrong?

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do anymore.

How I wish I know how to say things to make it better.

If I could, if only I could.

Oh, how I wish your favorite shirt can still comfort you like when you were young.

That blanket can save you from those monsters under your bed.

That you never realize that those demons inside your head are scarier than those monsters under your bed.

And you don’t need so much caffeine intake to make you feel you’re still alive.

Or badly wanting a drink because it’s the only thing that can make you numb.

Oh, how I hope you never say this to yourself,

"I never wished to be born."
© euphemia