I am stressed.
I was this close to begging for money, I heard GoFundMe was a way to go.

yet I felt like an utter failure creating that account.

so I paused.

why is it it that the kids who are old souls suffer so much in life?
don't we deserve peace?

I feel alone and stuck.

I live in a country where opportunities are non existent.

even before covid.

I am not doubting that I won't get myself out of this situation, it's the not knowing.

I've send out resumes, made calls and now I am tired.

I've been doing this for years.

I can't even call this starting over...I never started to begin with.

that may be depression talking, but there's always some truth when the emotions are bared raw.

I am not doubting God, I am doubting myself.

a job is all I need now...no, a strong bond with God is what I need but a job is necessary right now.

it means food.

not being ungrateful, I hope it doesn't come off that way, I am just terrified.

what's gonna happen now?






© C.Wynter