About a month ago when I first met you. I'm sorry baby, but I cannot remember how we really started. All I can think of now is that you gave the fullness for me during the fasting hours.

I met you on the most unexpected way. I only joined TanDoo for extra salary to help with living.

Yes, your reply matters because I get money out of it.

That is what you were for me at first.

But as the days passed by, you are more than a money machine for me.

As you can see, I never asked you too much, and I did not even force you to give me something because your presence is more than enough for me.

Isn't that obvious? I even wake up during your sahoor, and even wait for you to go hours after.

Even if you are not around, I still think of how are you doing by the time I remember you.

You are my favorite chat mate because you restored my faith in TanDoo world. That not everyone on there only wants to see me naked or undress.

You were my comfort zone.

You know, I even planned the day how to break it to you that one day, I have to go. That one day, I will tell you everything.

But I thought of it too early.

You told me that your Dad wanted you to delete the application which I cannot do anything about.

Without even bidding me proper goodbye, you left me without even saying that you love me even for the last time.

At four on the afternoon, I was alone in the world I built with you.

You made me sad. Too sad that I cannot even try to find someone to replace you. Once more I felt insecure.

Days went by so quick, but felt forever without you. Until one day, Madam Jessica had a contest. Winners of greeting counts will win instant $5.00.

Ofcourse I'm in.

As I go and go and go and go to the bottom of popular list, I saw a familiar picture with a familiar name.

It was you, Haziq.

Level four as far as I can remember.

I tried reaching you out, cannot think of what is true anymore, but all I know is that you are back, and I felt happy.

Sad at the same time.

I know you came back, and the thought of you made it so hopeful for me again.

But I know not for me anymore.

I tried to find the answer, but I did not get anything.

You don't have the time to explain because of Shaine.

I tried to restore you back, but you are not the love I knew anymore.

But it's okay, as long as you are happy with her, I'll keep quiet, and wait for someone like you to replace your special place your built on me.

I was preparing how to break it to you that I have to go, but I was not prepared for the thought that you will go first.

I loved you, Haziq. And I think I still do.

But one thing for sure. As you end Ramadan today with Eid-al Fitri, I also end my fantasies that you are coming back to me.

Selamat Hari Raya, Haziq, My Ramadan love.

© Pristina