I'll be narrating a short story today. Once upon a time, time time time. That was the opening phrase for all story telling i listened to while growing up. In the western part of uganda, we say mbaganire mbaganire,...and listeners would respond Teebele. Okay let's try it. Mbaganire mbagnire....... Teebele.Great. Now today's tale won't be about the king and his beautiful daughter or about a wise hare or even how a tortoise won the race. Grab yourself a glass of wine sip,sip and relax. Anyway, to the story now. If my memory serves me right, on that day i was minding my own bussiness and hydrating my good self. He called and suggested we meet up for dinner. I responded in affirmative because why not! On arrival, He asked me: What i would you like for dinner? Mind you, this restaurant wasn't like one where the menu was written on a blackboard with white chalk. He went on and read: On today's menu, they have chips, rice, mushroom strognoff, peas, pasta cabonara,steak, chicken fagitas served on a sizzling hot plate. With a smize on my face, i replied, today's menu looks appealing, spicy and sweet but that's not good for me at this late hour of the night. He then asked me if i desired an ice cold beer or a glass of wine. Hmm! Beer for who? (in my head) I bet he never read martin luther's quote which says "beer is made by men , wine is by God". I'll have a glass of sweet white wine please. Ohh, perhaps i can have a healthy meal prepared for you to accompany your wine .He went on and read the healthy meal menu: It consists of me I'm sweet and slender,and tender like the steak, and if you put me in a blender,a fantastic meal I'd make with lips that please. The food is in right portions and enough for your pleasure and satisafaction so don't say you aren't well fed. At this point my heart started racing vrooooom vroooom vroooom faster than Rajiv Rupareila's subaru, my legs shaking tiiii tiiiiiiii tiiiiii tiiiiii, my blood boiling shwaaaa shwaaa shwaaa, This meal was surely a must have. Its at this moment i realised i had just earned myself a "hot crumpet" for the night . Behold, a dinner in heels. The Food of love.
© Patricia Ahebwa