Irrational Decisions
Our world is a box, unlike everyone else's world. We are clearly unseen. To a point, it's a relief but when the system shattered, grasping for someone outside the walls to understand the vitality of it; was impossible.
The world swirled around me as we smashed our backs to the brick walls. The maze was unending. The city was dark. Our breath exploded into clouds from the below-freezing temperature.
His eyes frantically scanned mine, "alright?"
I wanted to nod but the situation was burning into my chest like acid. My anxiety picked up but I had no time to react. We just kept jumping from shadow to shadow. Voices bounced off the building, but we couldn't make out their location.
"Where are we going Pin," I whispered as my throat tightened.
"I can't use my phone," he mumbled, "I don't know."
"You have to use it-"
"-they'll see us-"
"-then you best make it quick."
He shook his head quickly, "you're not in any shape to make decisions."
"-and you are?" I eyed his shoulder wound bleeding through his dark navy blue hoodie.
"I'm not the one with a head injury-" he hissed through his teeth.
I couldn't believe we were in this position. To risk everything was worth it for this backpack of vials.
We sucked in a breath as footsteps raced around the corner. Pin placed a rigid arm across my chest as I stifled a trembling inhale.
Their figures stalled in front of us. Pin staggered in front of me with his hands out, "ok, take it back," he pressed the bag into the cement in front of us.
"The girl," one guy swung and arm up.
"-not tonight."
My eyes shot open wider, I'm not sure how that was possible. Not tonight. So tomorrow night or next week would suffice?
"No tonight, you lost privileges-"
"-I'm the one who has to perform the procedure."
"-she comes tonight, you come tomorrow morning."
"what difference does that make."
"-insurance."
Pin threw down his finger at the bag, "-we need more time. There's too many complications."
"-he gave you time. Give it up."
The tension was buckling down as each second ticked by, I patted the brick wall in desperation to find something. My fingertips were left empty, "Pin-" I muttered flatly, "who's side are you on."
"-no ones," the man argued, "he's the hands."
They couldn't kill us. They needed us both. They could hurt us but the fact is, it was worth trying. I found stair railings a few feet from us.
It was a clean cut but their aim was sharp, it'll likely be agonizing. I threw myself down the alley and slapped my hands onto the steel railing.
The roof was flat and I skidded on the pebbles until I hit the ledge with my palms. My bones shook up my arms. My head dizzied as I calculated the distance. Pin was inches from me but I balanced meticulously on the edge.
He ran his hands over his shining bald head, "don't."
"Oh I'm pretty sure this time."
Their boots hit the gravel but they hurriedly held back at the sight, "Jesus," the man threw his hand at the sky.
I blinked a few times as I caught a sob and swallowed it down, my throat gurgling, "it'll end everything won't it?"
Pin shook his head gradually, "no-"
"-you'll find someone else?"
He shook his head, "no."
"-then it's done."
He clicked his teeth down, jarring his jaw, he raised a hand to his temple, "you're not thinking straight-"
"-you won't," the one man stated bluntly, "step back down-" he shuffled a step so I dangled my one leg off the edge.
Pin swung his arm back, "SHE WILL," he boomed, pointing a hand towards me, "-she will-" his voice cracked. Not from emotion, he doesn't have much feeling but he had stress.
The man backed away a step. His eyes glistened in the night. The snow began to fall dusting my eyelashes.
I glanced around at the horror of their shadowed faces. Like mannequins unable to move. We all had clouds of air misting the atmosphere.
Pin took a small step towards me, I held out my one hand and he quickly snagged it and I gave it a stern squeeze before twisting out of his grip.
The descent felt like it was lagging, the world lost its constant sway. But the impact never enveloped me.
I fell towards a freezing floor, my hands patting the cement. The glass walls around me blinking their small numbers. I leaned back and slammed the back of my skull into the cot. I released partial exhales, hyperventilating. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I tucked them into my loose white long sleeve shirt.
White runners appeared by the exit and slid open the glass door, his white lab coat just by his knees, "Anna?"
I shuddered at the sound of his voice. He gently crouched down in front of me, he tapped my forehead with his wrist, "you're alright, you just overheated."
He knew I had night terrors. They were pretty frequent but the severity of them haunts me for weeks if not years. I have to live with them, they'll never fade.
He hooks his elbow with mind and stumbled me back to my feet, I shook my head groggy, "I'm not sleeping-"
He hesitated, "you need to-"
"-not right away."
He pressed his lips together calculating what to do next, "what do you want to do."
I connected eyes with him, "I wish I knew," tears pooled in my vision, "am I doing it wrong?"
He shook his head sitting me onto the bed, "Doing what wrong-that doesn't make sense. You aren't doing anything. We're doing everything."
I tilted my head back gasping in desperate exhaustion, "I can't do this-"
He glanced down for a moment, his mind must be spinning with thoughts, he took my pulse, whether he was really counting the beats I can't be sure. Sometimes he does it because it's how he shows he cares. He affirms I'm still alive.
"You don't need to do anything," he muttered calmly, "let us worry about that," he paused making sure I was paying attention, "but I do need you to sleep."
"I killed myself," I sniffed as he helped me lay my head down.
He froze at my words, "it's only a dream..."
"-but it was choice was it not?" I whispered barely able to form the words.
"It doesn't count," he lowered his voice, "what counts is what you do here, in this world."
He glanced at his watch. He walked out of the room and the silence fluttered and screamed in my ears. The door was pulled back open. He brought his tablet and pen.
He pulled over a chair and sat beside me, he was completely focused on his work. I watched numbers and words whip around on his screen until I couldn't keep up.
I never really went back to sleep, I could still hear his pen clicking and observe the flashing of his screen held in his hands. Whether I really slept or not, there was enough security so I didn't have to guard myself all the time.
That eats you up. Being on guard, all the time.
-Anna Rose
Related to my three-book Series:
-The Box
-SubdueX
-ACCLIVITY
Inkitt : annarose74
Wattpad: foryou_collection
Instagram Quote Account: anna_11_pin
Sincerely,
Rayne
🌹
The world swirled around me as we smashed our backs to the brick walls. The maze was unending. The city was dark. Our breath exploded into clouds from the below-freezing temperature.
His eyes frantically scanned mine, "alright?"
I wanted to nod but the situation was burning into my chest like acid. My anxiety picked up but I had no time to react. We just kept jumping from shadow to shadow. Voices bounced off the building, but we couldn't make out their location.
"Where are we going Pin," I whispered as my throat tightened.
"I can't use my phone," he mumbled, "I don't know."
"You have to use it-"
"-they'll see us-"
"-then you best make it quick."
He shook his head quickly, "you're not in any shape to make decisions."
"-and you are?" I eyed his shoulder wound bleeding through his dark navy blue hoodie.
"I'm not the one with a head injury-" he hissed through his teeth.
I couldn't believe we were in this position. To risk everything was worth it for this backpack of vials.
We sucked in a breath as footsteps raced around the corner. Pin placed a rigid arm across my chest as I stifled a trembling inhale.
Their figures stalled in front of us. Pin staggered in front of me with his hands out, "ok, take it back," he pressed the bag into the cement in front of us.
"The girl," one guy swung and arm up.
"-not tonight."
My eyes shot open wider, I'm not sure how that was possible. Not tonight. So tomorrow night or next week would suffice?
"No tonight, you lost privileges-"
"-I'm the one who has to perform the procedure."
"-she comes tonight, you come tomorrow morning."
"what difference does that make."
"-insurance."
Pin threw down his finger at the bag, "-we need more time. There's too many complications."
"-he gave you time. Give it up."
The tension was buckling down as each second ticked by, I patted the brick wall in desperation to find something. My fingertips were left empty, "Pin-" I muttered flatly, "who's side are you on."
"-no ones," the man argued, "he's the hands."
They couldn't kill us. They needed us both. They could hurt us but the fact is, it was worth trying. I found stair railings a few feet from us.
It was a clean cut but their aim was sharp, it'll likely be agonizing. I threw myself down the alley and slapped my hands onto the steel railing.
The roof was flat and I skidded on the pebbles until I hit the ledge with my palms. My bones shook up my arms. My head dizzied as I calculated the distance. Pin was inches from me but I balanced meticulously on the edge.
He ran his hands over his shining bald head, "don't."
"Oh I'm pretty sure this time."
Their boots hit the gravel but they hurriedly held back at the sight, "Jesus," the man threw his hand at the sky.
I blinked a few times as I caught a sob and swallowed it down, my throat gurgling, "it'll end everything won't it?"
Pin shook his head gradually, "no-"
"-you'll find someone else?"
He shook his head, "no."
"-then it's done."
He clicked his teeth down, jarring his jaw, he raised a hand to his temple, "you're not thinking straight-"
"-you won't," the one man stated bluntly, "step back down-" he shuffled a step so I dangled my one leg off the edge.
Pin swung his arm back, "SHE WILL," he boomed, pointing a hand towards me, "-she will-" his voice cracked. Not from emotion, he doesn't have much feeling but he had stress.
The man backed away a step. His eyes glistened in the night. The snow began to fall dusting my eyelashes.
I glanced around at the horror of their shadowed faces. Like mannequins unable to move. We all had clouds of air misting the atmosphere.
Pin took a small step towards me, I held out my one hand and he quickly snagged it and I gave it a stern squeeze before twisting out of his grip.
The descent felt like it was lagging, the world lost its constant sway. But the impact never enveloped me.
I fell towards a freezing floor, my hands patting the cement. The glass walls around me blinking their small numbers. I leaned back and slammed the back of my skull into the cot. I released partial exhales, hyperventilating. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I tucked them into my loose white long sleeve shirt.
White runners appeared by the exit and slid open the glass door, his white lab coat just by his knees, "Anna?"
I shuddered at the sound of his voice. He gently crouched down in front of me, he tapped my forehead with his wrist, "you're alright, you just overheated."
He knew I had night terrors. They were pretty frequent but the severity of them haunts me for weeks if not years. I have to live with them, they'll never fade.
He hooks his elbow with mind and stumbled me back to my feet, I shook my head groggy, "I'm not sleeping-"
He hesitated, "you need to-"
"-not right away."
He pressed his lips together calculating what to do next, "what do you want to do."
I connected eyes with him, "I wish I knew," tears pooled in my vision, "am I doing it wrong?"
He shook his head sitting me onto the bed, "Doing what wrong-that doesn't make sense. You aren't doing anything. We're doing everything."
I tilted my head back gasping in desperate exhaustion, "I can't do this-"
He glanced down for a moment, his mind must be spinning with thoughts, he took my pulse, whether he was really counting the beats I can't be sure. Sometimes he does it because it's how he shows he cares. He affirms I'm still alive.
"You don't need to do anything," he muttered calmly, "let us worry about that," he paused making sure I was paying attention, "but I do need you to sleep."
"I killed myself," I sniffed as he helped me lay my head down.
He froze at my words, "it's only a dream..."
"-but it was choice was it not?" I whispered barely able to form the words.
"It doesn't count," he lowered his voice, "what counts is what you do here, in this world."
He glanced at his watch. He walked out of the room and the silence fluttered and screamed in my ears. The door was pulled back open. He brought his tablet and pen.
He pulled over a chair and sat beside me, he was completely focused on his work. I watched numbers and words whip around on his screen until I couldn't keep up.
I never really went back to sleep, I could still hear his pen clicking and observe the flashing of his screen held in his hands. Whether I really slept or not, there was enough security so I didn't have to guard myself all the time.
That eats you up. Being on guard, all the time.
-Anna Rose
Related to my three-book Series:
-The Box
-SubdueX
-ACCLIVITY
Inkitt : annarose74
Wattpad: foryou_collection
Instagram Quote Account: anna_11_pin
Sincerely,
Rayne
🌹