This is not a story , but a time phase i have gone through ,just wanted to scribble down everything over here .Many among us have gone through these situations ,but untill we experience it we won't know how it actually feels like .


Hi , myself Lakshmi im 24 and married ,today is April 19 ,by the end of last year we came to know that soon we will be having a third member in our home , our baby .
we went to doctor to check whether what the pregnancy tester told us is right or wrong .Our doctor even showed me that little dot inside my uterus with a heart beat , and from there we announced this happy news to both our parents , what to say i still don't know how many times i have thanked god for this for blessing us with a baby , those were my favourite days ,for both of us . I was getting extra care, he gets me what ever i want we both would sit together and talk about our baby , like whom would he look like ,would it be a girl or a boy ,so many questions and dreams . I was still imgaing how lucky iam that i too have got a chance to grow a life inside me . even our family they also have started dreaming a lot . Iam sure our child would have been loved by many , so many were waiting to hold him . When ever i see a family traveling in bike i would tell my husband we also will go like that one day , he nodds and smile .
But i think god didn't wanted me to be that happy or may he made a mistake or sometime he has an another plan for me . The doctor even showed me my baby on my second scan he was moving all around in my uterus tring to suck his thumb ,kicking ,turing around,i was so happy like the word cant explain ,he was so little that i couldn't feel any of his movements at that time ,i was waiting for feeling his little kicks from the very day i went to know im going to be a mother . In my third month scan, we had to face some issues , doctor told us that there is a chance that our baby is blessed with an extra 21 set of chromosomes . We were confused what to do ,if my baby had this so called down syndrome whats the use in bringing him to this world ,It was really hard to have a baby inside me who knows nothing but that he was safe insude me and me as his mother confused to decide whether to bring him out to this world or not ,we all say a mothers womb is the safest place on earth but i was confused were would he fit in ,he won't be like other children around him he would have to face so many problems others may give relaxing words to us and talk about my baby on my back , so we decided to give a gene test on , it was painful but still i thought atleast its for my baby ,for the past few months i was always thinking like that quit my unmanaged lifestyle avoided junk did everything carefully even while sleeping ,i did everything i can ,on that very day i went home and i knew that something worse is going to happen i was in pain i went back to hospital with my mom i got admited there .It was a bad day ,a bad day i dont even want to think about ,the most unlucky day i ever had .I was in the hospital labour room waiting for more pain to feel ,for an abortion ,i was lying down in my room and i heard a baby crying from another room , i couldn't hold my tears at that moment ,i was also waiting for that moment to happen in my life but i was about to lose my child i was only 17 week pregnant there was no way i can bring my baby back to life . Doctors tried but he was ready to leave me .On March 11 i lost my baby i gave birth to him ,i can still feel that pain when he came out ,thats all i have left now thats when i felt my baby , but i was not ready to see him with my eyes i didn't had that courage .They gave my baby to my family in a small box, and my uncle buried my little baby . It took me a little while to come out of my space and talk to others my husband and our family was always there for me .

few days later we got a call from the hospital that the gene test results have come and we should come and collect it .
That was again a hard part for me , my baby was normal he didn't had and genetic issues . Next day i was just going through my discharge summary and it was only then me and my husband came to know that our baby was a boy .
I don't know why god dont want me to be happy , or maybe he made a mistake and thats why he took my little boy back from me or maybe it was not the right time he might have an another amazing plan for me .
I don't blame anyone it was just my fate , or maybe god took me through that journey to make me love my husband more than i do ,to know better each other ,im realize that iam so lucky to have him as my husband . And we together is waiting for our little angel to come , sure he will come back to me very soon .
As i told you many of us might have gone through situation's like these ,but i was not strong enough to know others pain untill i have gone through it . And i truly wish and pray to God that may noone experience this ,and please help them to recover fast who ever is going through this .

God bless you dear !

I'm editing this again to share the happy news that now god has blessed us with our rainbow 🌈 baby .
God always makes me walk through the hardest because he wants me to now the value of what im gonna have .
currently im 8 months pregnant while writing this ,each day i can feel his kicks more, me and my husband waiting for our sunshine .❤️

😇again updating this one to let you know that on 21/5/2023 I have been blessed with a baby boy ,
i have never felt how it would be as a mother , that one little smile by showing those cute little gums makes my day , I'm quite sure that this is the same baby god took away from me earlier , and as i told you everything happens in its own time ...just wait! ..... and i would like to believe everything happens for a reason 😇



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