i don't know what you want until you decide what you want. all this gaslighting back and forth shit isn't fair, when I need reassurance too.
you tell me I want sex too much and that your sex drive isn't there, but yet I don't suck your dick enough, when thats all I want to do!
Its so frustrating. bc you haven't even given the opportunity to do so. .
we're never around each other anymore.
you don't spend your nights w me anymore.
when we are together someone's always there or your just busy working on your car.
this shit really hit from left feild. I reallyyyyyy thought you were done w this shit.
you bringing it to my face and giving me no option doesn't make it okay in anyway.
it's not that hoe that bothers me, it's all of them as a whole.
even if there isn't love for them, everything you give them is mine. my love, my attention, my time, our memories.
the fact you can just lay up with them like it ain't shit bothers the fuck outta me too. bc then it makes me wonder how many bitches have laid on my spot?
how many get to hear your heartbeat ... and rock themselves to sleep on you. or crawl intop of you in the middle of the night bc your their body pillow.
how many sunrises do you watch together that I don't get anymore.
do you listen to your meditation music and fall asleep with them in your car too.
they get to hear your hopes and dreams. your next big plans in life, they get to joke with you.
you guys laugh together, and I'm just non existent until something reminds you of me. or you look over to your passenger seat and have to take a triple look all confused bc you could have sworn the first time you saw me.
anger and pain will hit your chest. it's going to burn and your eyes are probably gonna sting. youre going to swallow hard, turn up the music, pound your fist into the steering wheel and....your going to hit your gas pedal speeding in and out if traffic.
you replaced me.
maybe not just with one person, but with all of them .
you can't even touch me Anymore, perhaps guilt, shame, intentionally distancing yourself from me bc it hurts you too. who knows.
being your wife meant I'll be here through thick And thin, for better or worse, and c'mon Niko, we've been through some shit.
why keep putting us through some unnecessary bullshit if you really want forever with...