Let's just go ahead and throw it out there...there is not one single thing about me that's a delicate wall flower to say the LEAST!

My poor mother tried and tried as hard as she could to raise the perfect little princess in the poofy fancy WHITE dresses. Whole nine yards. Right down to the stupid tights and patton leather shoes.

She always yelled in amazement.."HOW" I Managed to tear up another pair in expert time?!

I mean, I get the accent gets thicker when angered..but she left A LOT up for my own interpretation. While I love and respect that parenting style, in my case, it was probably more of a, I just cant handle you right now type of scenarios.🤔

Never understood if she really wanted an explanation or if finding me in the middle of a mudd puddle, while missing the ditch bank I was jumping... out in front of the church...right as Sunday service let out...was explanation enough...looked self explanatory to me!🤔🤷‍♀️

If your gonna piss off the matriarchs of the family..IN PUBLIC..ya might as well give the whole church congregation a good show while at it! I mean, its obvious I didnt hear a lick of what the preacher said. And shes not gonna REALLY lose her shit over that damn dress with so many witnesses...I was literally placing bets if I could make it home before her car. I was COMMITTED, I really thought that my perfect rational decision, in my idk 8 year old brain, would work out.

Well, I didnt, she patiently waited for her opportunity to get me..in private...after having to assume my usual position, IN THE MIDDLE, on that nail biting ride home.😂😂 No wonder my father had so many premature grey hairs .🤔🤫

So now that you have a little TINY idea of what your dealing with here with THIS chick...let's get back down to HOW this bum knee came into existence from too tall Tina over here!!

Prepare yourself..is my only warning..there were MULTIPLE WTF incidents involved.☠🤣🤣🤣

So the very first one...
I have spiral stairs in my home leading up to the loft where my boys share...