I could remember it like yesterday. The dreadful day that scarred my dear life. "Hey, come inside and lock the door, "he spoke softly. I did as asked afterall he was my uncle. I sat and enjoyed the glass of juice he brought. We talked about everything and anything .He asked what I wanted and as the naive little girl who had been peer pressured I asked for a phone, I mean it was the new trend and all my friends had one.

"come here sit on your uncles lap dear I won't bite I promise. "He said as he laughed. I laughed along and trudged towards him and sat on his lap. He held me tight with both his hands and looked at me smiling. I thought it was the 'niece I adore you look'. He hugged me and I couldn't deny him the hug I felt safe in his hands.

He stood up with me on his laps and started walking to his room. "Don't worry am just going to show you something" was all he said. The happy girl in me just nodded nothing could go wrong right. He closed the door and put on music as I sat timidly rubbing my hands together to get rid of the awkwardness.

Holding my hands he pulled me towards him and stroked my cheecks appreciating my beauty. I was embarassed ,who wouldn't after all in my 17 years of life no one said such endearing words to me. Then he kissed me. My inexperience and shock couldn't let me move a muscle. "If you want that phone you have to earn it, just do as I do don't be scared. " I could only whimper in return scared of what was to happen.

My struggling made matters worse as he became aggressive and rough. I couldn't fight him off with my short frame, he was huge and well built muscles at the right places. Tears were flowing freely ,my arms and legs shaking, my heart pounding and my thoughts racing. I could feel the erection as he rubbed himself on me and that alone scared me.

He threw me on the bed and started undressing me as he unbuckled his belt, I decided to be Hussein and bolt out of there. Clutching my torn top like my life depended on it I ran. With a blurry vision I could 'nt see so I opted to stop outside the gate ,to hold my breathe and straighten my clothes.

So I wiped my tears and wore my sweater to hide the torn top. I walked home scared and scarred. I trusted him. He was my own flesh and blood and he hurt me what about all the others? .It was from that day I vowed to never trust any man no matter how loving they are.

I couldn't seek help from anyone at home. What would they think of me? They will be disgusted and judge me. I will be blamed, I mean I took myself at his place and had the guts to ask for a favour. I bottled it up and decided to face the consequence of my actions.

To day marks five years since the incident. Three years of counselling and attending therapy sessions I can finally let a man hold me. I can handle the sexual activity but I can't feel the pleasure of it at all.


The painful sad memories of a single day has scarred me my whole life.






© cynthia