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A problem
Okay, weird formula to life, but a lot of things can fit into different formulas. Sure there aren't sure fine variables in life and it is all one big mess with tens and thousands of thoughts and questions. Details that is what is all needed for us to actually go out there and say well this is a meaning of life. Well, fundementally it differs between person to person. Well in a lot of things people differ and that is okay I mean my mom always said : " How dull would the world be if all of us were the same?"
There is also a thousand mysteries in our lives and all we have is to kind of have things work out for the best. Today in my private writing session I had a stern like writing to myself like you know the biggest thing bothering me personally is that everything in life is weird as I like a multitude of things and explore almost everything as it is damned interesting plus it makes me less boring and also I learn and understand a multitude of things, which I kind of thinks makes life a bit more valuable and worth it. The problem is there is a lot of obvious problems towards this approach and that is also makes it hard to fit into life.
So yeah I asked myself what is the actual problem with me? I thought you know there is a lot of unprocessed thoughts and also things that has to be approached in life and what do I do sometimes? Is there a plan for all this ? Is change and growth reachable or not? Well, one thing is apparent there is a one clear problem not everything is done and what happens because of it a lot of doubt and other negative traits are given onto myself. Problem is also that it is also influenced by the environment as there is a lot of negative things out there and alot of distraction is out there and no good comes out of these aspects and sometimes one gets stuck on a project and just think well is there more growth in these situations?
Micro excuses as I would like to call it as it is seemingly easy to give up on a project than to work on it or a rushed job on it. I can also plegde to this as I have stories here which I wrote and it kind of just flows no problem, but as time progress it just gets to much and then an ending just comes towards a story as it just gets dull and nothing else matters eventho pain on a character can be dragged out to let the story elevates a bit or something like that.
So I wrote this segment also to actually think more on this and actually say to someone else there is an actual truth to something else that is to blame and not really that you get bored or just suddenly lost potential for something or that efforts go in vainly to nothingness. It is just a perspective create and the reason is actually you yourself is at fault.
It was a scary thing as I wrote and all of the sudden all the fingers pointed towards myself and say but look you understand this problem totally incorrectly. You stopped something why? Well, for me it is perfection that also gets in the way. Something has to be perfect and done correctly to be efficient and effective. When it is both these things then it is fun to do whatever as it is the end of the struggle as a thing can be done and there is no problem. Also if a change happens it kind of just happen naturally and easy nothing within the success is actually appreciated or questions if say you exercise for a week and accomplish it naturally without a force saying you know you have to exercise today and if you don't well you fail and then later it doesn't really seem to matter as it happened and you moved on with this forgotten target and then a revisit happens and then it doesn't hit that hard if you quit again. I found this loop and continually fall into it and feel tired of living a stupid miserable life with out no drive for anything.
I can't really preach anything to anyone as there is a lot of flaws and I can admit no one is perfect at this. The thing is this loop has to get broken. The other problem is arrogance. To just stop asking questions on a subject as you have your own ideas also sometimes have a costly effect and there is sometimes these parts were you have an amazing argument about say a sport as you know it well and no one can change a view towards what you think or so you think. Just then someone has a new argument ot strategy or information about it and then your valid information is under inspection and needs reanalyzing.
Then a new aspect happens where it is not worth an effort to do analysis again and also everything happening fast and also there are new pressures on what will people think of what I say or think about it ? Is it also worth mentioning what I know or would it be embarrassing? So yeah there are a lot of factors.
To be honest there are these stupid lies where example I watch a +18 movie. Then tomorrow the argument to the same deed would be like I don't want to do it, but it would be okay to do it and just as a fair well and change happens overnight. New day/year equals ,new me right? Wrong, new day still the old you and nothing really gets changed it still stays roughly the same with maybe a few months or weeks or days for a relapse event. Sure a new day gives new opportunities but we fall for stupid lies in the end or feel awkward to a silly little change and be jugemental about the whole situation. It is a bad place to be in.
I can honestly say that this has been an awkward expressive subconscious view onto my own life and it just felt oblivious. I just think everyone should take a moment into thinking what is there to be done in their own lives as there is a lot of potential in a lot of people and we ourselves miss it, because of the misery that's there in this life and also the fact that there is this problem we face. There is alot of weird things being challenged in life and the biggest are that we want to be amazing people with extra ordinary lives and do everything or aspire to do things but we limit ourselves severly. We don't see what others see as our judgemental mirror is up and we hide behind a mask, because the truth is pretty nasty to handel.
Also other things like I have this condition or this happened in the past and it is making me who I am now and I accepted it and it is kind of okay even though I don't stay happy and don't persue anything because of these things.
Well I hope this can also get someone inspired to get out there and apply change as I really seek change towards my own life. Good luck and try to see what bothers you in your own life as well and be brutally honest.
© The cube said it
There is also a thousand mysteries in our lives and all we have is to kind of have things work out for the best. Today in my private writing session I had a stern like writing to myself like you know the biggest thing bothering me personally is that everything in life is weird as I like a multitude of things and explore almost everything as it is damned interesting plus it makes me less boring and also I learn and understand a multitude of things, which I kind of thinks makes life a bit more valuable and worth it. The problem is there is a lot of obvious problems towards this approach and that is also makes it hard to fit into life.
So yeah I asked myself what is the actual problem with me? I thought you know there is a lot of unprocessed thoughts and also things that has to be approached in life and what do I do sometimes? Is there a plan for all this ? Is change and growth reachable or not? Well, one thing is apparent there is a one clear problem not everything is done and what happens because of it a lot of doubt and other negative traits are given onto myself. Problem is also that it is also influenced by the environment as there is a lot of negative things out there and alot of distraction is out there and no good comes out of these aspects and sometimes one gets stuck on a project and just think well is there more growth in these situations?
Micro excuses as I would like to call it as it is seemingly easy to give up on a project than to work on it or a rushed job on it. I can also plegde to this as I have stories here which I wrote and it kind of just flows no problem, but as time progress it just gets to much and then an ending just comes towards a story as it just gets dull and nothing else matters eventho pain on a character can be dragged out to let the story elevates a bit or something like that.
So I wrote this segment also to actually think more on this and actually say to someone else there is an actual truth to something else that is to blame and not really that you get bored or just suddenly lost potential for something or that efforts go in vainly to nothingness. It is just a perspective create and the reason is actually you yourself is at fault.
It was a scary thing as I wrote and all of the sudden all the fingers pointed towards myself and say but look you understand this problem totally incorrectly. You stopped something why? Well, for me it is perfection that also gets in the way. Something has to be perfect and done correctly to be efficient and effective. When it is both these things then it is fun to do whatever as it is the end of the struggle as a thing can be done and there is no problem. Also if a change happens it kind of just happen naturally and easy nothing within the success is actually appreciated or questions if say you exercise for a week and accomplish it naturally without a force saying you know you have to exercise today and if you don't well you fail and then later it doesn't really seem to matter as it happened and you moved on with this forgotten target and then a revisit happens and then it doesn't hit that hard if you quit again. I found this loop and continually fall into it and feel tired of living a stupid miserable life with out no drive for anything.
I can't really preach anything to anyone as there is a lot of flaws and I can admit no one is perfect at this. The thing is this loop has to get broken. The other problem is arrogance. To just stop asking questions on a subject as you have your own ideas also sometimes have a costly effect and there is sometimes these parts were you have an amazing argument about say a sport as you know it well and no one can change a view towards what you think or so you think. Just then someone has a new argument ot strategy or information about it and then your valid information is under inspection and needs reanalyzing.
Then a new aspect happens where it is not worth an effort to do analysis again and also everything happening fast and also there are new pressures on what will people think of what I say or think about it ? Is it also worth mentioning what I know or would it be embarrassing? So yeah there are a lot of factors.
To be honest there are these stupid lies where example I watch a +18 movie. Then tomorrow the argument to the same deed would be like I don't want to do it, but it would be okay to do it and just as a fair well and change happens overnight. New day/year equals ,new me right? Wrong, new day still the old you and nothing really gets changed it still stays roughly the same with maybe a few months or weeks or days for a relapse event. Sure a new day gives new opportunities but we fall for stupid lies in the end or feel awkward to a silly little change and be jugemental about the whole situation. It is a bad place to be in.
I can honestly say that this has been an awkward expressive subconscious view onto my own life and it just felt oblivious. I just think everyone should take a moment into thinking what is there to be done in their own lives as there is a lot of potential in a lot of people and we ourselves miss it, because of the misery that's there in this life and also the fact that there is this problem we face. There is alot of weird things being challenged in life and the biggest are that we want to be amazing people with extra ordinary lives and do everything or aspire to do things but we limit ourselves severly. We don't see what others see as our judgemental mirror is up and we hide behind a mask, because the truth is pretty nasty to handel.
Also other things like I have this condition or this happened in the past and it is making me who I am now and I accepted it and it is kind of okay even though I don't stay happy and don't persue anything because of these things.
Well I hope this can also get someone inspired to get out there and apply change as I really seek change towards my own life. Good luck and try to see what bothers you in your own life as well and be brutally honest.
© The cube said it
