As I lay on my bed, clinging onto my pillow, I was drowning in my hurtful thoughts. This was not the first time he said those things to me, but why did this one hurt so much? It was supposed to be one of my best dates and not a memory that brings only pain when remembered.

I had many wishes running through my mind. I wished I never met him. I wished I never fell in love with him. I wished I never said yes the day he asked me out. I wished I didn’t pick the call for that date. I regretted coming out to see him. I cursed that night.

It was so beautiful at first till he uttered those words to me- it was meant to be a joke but, to me, it was the most hurtful things I had ever heard. Why must he had to spoil my good mood? Why must he had to say them?

The environment was so beautiful and glowing to walk in. The setting was too romantic, and I loved the dim lights in the room. The couch was to soft to sit on. The candles on the table were too perfect to watch. The flower he bought was good to hold. The aura was welcoming. I was so happy to sit with him. He was such a darling, and he knew how to bust my bubbles. My smile that night was alluring till his words changed them.

And it happened exactly when I was excited over a good food to order from the menu. When he said, ”You looked so beautiful in real life more than in pictures, but those set of bazookas are not good for a show.”

At first, I didn’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. It seemed like it wasn’t going to end when he adjusted his medicated glasses which made him look like a small professor with a wide grin broken over his face and that added fuel to the burning fire I was fanning.

He shifted his gaze from me to the flower I was holding and he concluded, “It is not good to show those teeth in public especially on social media. It’s fine to snap and keep them on your phone but, don’t post them. Or don’t you know the world is seeing it and it makes you look ugly?” He advised as he looked through the menu.

I stopped what I was doing and wanted to say something but couldn’t. He noticed I was upset and quickly apologized in a rude way ( maybe my anger didn’t let me see the way he did that)but it was already late for that.

I wanted to walk out on him, but I didn’t want a payback. I was silent through out the night and he didn’t show how sorry he was. Maybe, I wasn’t showing him signs of being hurt. Maybe I should have stopped it at first time he said those things to me, but I didn’t. I would only leave him with “ok” and “I have heard you”.

That was a night that I never want to experience again. A night at the stage of being forgotten, and my darkest night in the world of romance.


#love #selflove #mydarkestnight #myworstdate #thewords #mymermories.

© eve