Don't you get lonely being way out here by yoself you're never with nobody you're always alone. No I answered, so are you really alone I mean we're all alone. You be with people call'um friends and family but it's things that matter. Anyway I have my books and when I'm in a book I can make it be anything or the characters anybody I want them to be.
I don't just stay away from the world because of something I don't like I stay away because I like me. Jane I like who I am who I really am and if you stay around certain things for too long it changes you. So when I see or feel myself changing I back away. You don't really notice but it gets in you and after a while you're not you anymore. You turn into those thing that you swore you'd never become. I want to ask you something, have you noticed how you have changed do you hear the tone of your voice when you talk now verse last year's tone Jane you were one of the nicest people that I have ever met you had a soft spoken voice and a care that was gently placed in you that noone else had. She looked up at me with something in her eyes I never saw before. You're not anymore.
Girl I gotta go she said changing the subject not to talk about the changes that she's gone through. No don't change the subject don't run from it this time what is it is this the real you or you being you just to fit in wit that group you hanging out with. I noticed you don't come around much no condemption
of the two. And anyway I'm not always alone I have a friend but he's not one to boost and I like it that way. I never seen you with anyone yeah alot of people didn't know that I was pregnant until I was about have the baby
No you never seen him it's how we are I don't need you to know I want that lone thang whenever he's around. I stood up walked to the edge of the porch look back at Jane you don't read my books do you. Jane
the only way you'll ever have the relationship that you want with someone is you gonna have to keep it to yourself, once everybody
knows it changes it changes you, thoughts
and feelings.. See I just told you and already you wanting to know who it is. See my thing is satisfaction you want somebody out there in the here and now kinda setting want everybody to know give them something like alway to talk about. I like nobody knowing nothing I'm doing nobody I'm seeing. I don't wanna own him I see him when I see him.
Like you, you come out here when you need somebody to talk to somebody you know really care not yo homies. I like my life like it is don't try to change it. Don't put down my way because I don't like what you've become who you've turned into but
that my opinion I keep it to myself and I'm here when you need me. People have tried change me all my life they don't like the real me but it's not their understanding that I don't like them either also mine opinion to keep so I stay to myself by myself.
But Jane do me a favor ok I said just be you just you. Be very careful of the changes you make....Jane got into her car and left I went back in the house to do some more writing.




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