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ROLLING DICE - ONE
Your not gonna feel any better crying Shantel". Mike Said softly while moving closer to me.
"We need to go and spend sometime with your dad before it's too late". He added
As I was looking straight in Mike's eyes with tears dripping down my cheeks, I thought what was the point.
"Am not going". I said while I stormed off.
I ran as fast as I could on my heels heading to my car.
How can I go see him when he only have five days to live. I just couldnt face it. He had cancer and I dont know what would happen to me if I go to the hospital he was admitted to.
I sat back in my car trying to think deeper about everything. I just couldn't believe my life right now. Everything was just a hot mess. I turned my car mirror to take a good look at my red eyes with mascara running down with tears.
SHANTEL! Wait for me! I heard Mike shouting on top of his voice trying to reach out to my car.
There was no way I wanted to see anyone. Whatever that I was going through mentally, I wanted it to be confidential.
Am tired of explaining myself to Mike
I immediately drove off my car.
I got home feeling very lonely. I sat on the floor heavily thinking with a bag of weed to roll. Me myself and I.
I just want to die. I feel really worthless. Everything I had is gone and I don't care about anything anymore. Afterall Mike is an amazing person but I really don't care about anything anymore. I just want to be by myself. Nobody knew my story. Not even Mike or my dad. How dumb would i have been even thinking to tell Mike and my dad two days before finding out he had a terminal cancer I thought deeply to myself
I looked down at my engagement ring and I sobbed some more.
I don't know how I have managed to wear that ring almost a day after hearing the news.
I must be out of my mind.
I took it off slowly and left it on the table beside of where I was sitting.
Hmmm i gave in a big sigh.
At the corners of my eyes, my phone ranged
It was Mike. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. I just didnt feel like talking to him.
What the hell does he want from me?
I rolled my eyes and went straight to the shower room.
There I was smoking and relaxing in the bath tub.
How did it all happened? I thought I will be able to give love a chance but not anymore. The Love road has always been rocky for me ever since after my first love. Would I even call it a first love? I think they all think it's a fling.
Can't believe I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was just 18 years and it all went down south after every guy.
I thought some more while soaking myself in the bath.
Twenty nine and still the same old story. I don't even know what made me trusted Men. How dare someone call you on the phone to tell you it was a mistake buying that ring on your finger. That was the worst someone could ever tell you. Biggest Mistake of my life. Giving this ring back is going to be a whole level of madness. It's hard to get over someone you love. Whatever that I was going through, I knew I needed time to heal.
© Sandra.D
"We need to go and spend sometime with your dad before it's too late". He added
As I was looking straight in Mike's eyes with tears dripping down my cheeks, I thought what was the point.
"Am not going". I said while I stormed off.
I ran as fast as I could on my heels heading to my car.
How can I go see him when he only have five days to live. I just couldnt face it. He had cancer and I dont know what would happen to me if I go to the hospital he was admitted to.
I sat back in my car trying to think deeper about everything. I just couldn't believe my life right now. Everything was just a hot mess. I turned my car mirror to take a good look at my red eyes with mascara running down with tears.
SHANTEL! Wait for me! I heard Mike shouting on top of his voice trying to reach out to my car.
There was no way I wanted to see anyone. Whatever that I was going through mentally, I wanted it to be confidential.
Am tired of explaining myself to Mike
I immediately drove off my car.
I got home feeling very lonely. I sat on the floor heavily thinking with a bag of weed to roll. Me myself and I.
I just want to die. I feel really worthless. Everything I had is gone and I don't care about anything anymore. Afterall Mike is an amazing person but I really don't care about anything anymore. I just want to be by myself. Nobody knew my story. Not even Mike or my dad. How dumb would i have been even thinking to tell Mike and my dad two days before finding out he had a terminal cancer I thought deeply to myself
I looked down at my engagement ring and I sobbed some more.
I don't know how I have managed to wear that ring almost a day after hearing the news.
I must be out of my mind.
I took it off slowly and left it on the table beside of where I was sitting.
Hmmm i gave in a big sigh.
At the corners of my eyes, my phone ranged
It was Mike. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. I just didnt feel like talking to him.
What the hell does he want from me?
I rolled my eyes and went straight to the shower room.
There I was smoking and relaxing in the bath tub.
How did it all happened? I thought I will be able to give love a chance but not anymore. The Love road has always been rocky for me ever since after my first love. Would I even call it a first love? I think they all think it's a fling.
Can't believe I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was just 18 years and it all went down south after every guy.
I thought some more while soaking myself in the bath.
Twenty nine and still the same old story. I don't even know what made me trusted Men. How dare someone call you on the phone to tell you it was a mistake buying that ring on your finger. That was the worst someone could ever tell you. Biggest Mistake of my life. Giving this ring back is going to be a whole level of madness. It's hard to get over someone you love. Whatever that I was going through, I knew I needed time to heal.
© Sandra.D
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