Kabhi aisa hota hai tumhare saath. Tum apne friends ke saath time spend kar rahe ho. Unke saath hans rahe ho. Apni baate share kar rahe ho. Unki baate sun rahe ho. Sab kuchh bilkul normal hai. Jaisa aksar hota hai. Par fir kuch hota hai. Tumhare andar. Tumhare chehre ki hansi achanak se kahi udd jaati hai. Aankho ke saamne sab kuchh dheema ho jaata hai...just like a slow motion video. Tumhare aas paas ki saari awaaze jaise shaant ho jaati hai. Dil jor se dhadakne lagta hai. Ek azeeb sa bhaar kandho par mehsoos hota hai. Tumhaari pura sharir ek anjaane dar se thanda pad haata hai. Tumhare haath apni grip ko khone lagte hai. Pura shreer na jane kis baat se ghabra kar kanpne lagta hai. Aur fir tumhaare saamne sab kuchh dundhla sa ho jata hai. Dimag ke andar zor zor se chikhne ki aawaze aati hai. Tum chikhna chahte ho. Rona chahte ho.  Par Tumhare muh se ek shabd nahi nikal pata. Aankho ke kone kab nam ho jaate hai pata bhi nahi chalta. Par tum sabse chhupa kar unhe ponchh lete ho. Thodi der baad bas dekhawa karte ho sab thik hai aur tum ab bhi enjoy kar rahe ho. Dheere dheere ye thode samay ka alien time roz ka ek niyam ban jata hai. Aur fir har ghante ka. Pahle tum jahan ise feel karke rona chahte the. Ab nahi chahte. Ab tum shaant ho gae ho aur bas chup hi rehna chahte ho. Kabhi kabhi aisa feel hota hai ki jese tum kahi band ho. Ek aise kamre me jahan par koi darwaza nahi hai aur na hi koi khidki. Aur us kamre me tum akele ho ek aese tape recorder ke sath jo bas chikhta rahta h chillata rahta hai. Tum use band karne ki jitni koshish karte ho uski awaaz utni hi tez ho jaati hai. Fir haar maan kar tum ek kone me beth jaate ho apne kaano ko haatho se band karke sir ko apne dono ghutno ke beech me daba kar. Tum har waqt un awaazo ko sunte rehte ho ki tumhe ab tumhari khud ki awaaz bhi ek shor lagne lagti hai. Kisi kaam me ab man nahi lagta. Pending work jese life ka ek part ban jata hai. Na to koi cheez tumhe motivate kar  paati hai aur na hi excited. Bas ek jagah baith rahte ho. Tumhaari bezaan si aankhe bas khuli hoti h par unme na to koi khwaab hota hai aur na hi koi khwaahish. Tum naa kuch karna chahte ho. Na kuch badalna chahte ho. Tum bas toot chuke ho us dard se chubhan se. Tum bas usse door bhagna chahte ho par kese…???? Raat ka andhera bhi tumhe us kamre se kam kala lagta hai. Aur din ka ujala bas ab sahan nahi hota hai. Tum har pal har samay sochte ho ki ab bas. Ab aur nahi.  Par kar bhi kya sakte ho sirf un kaali berang diwaro pr sir patakne ke jo jitna todne ki koshish ki jaaye utni hi mazboot hoti jaati hai. Tum aksar kisi aise ki talaash mein rehte ho jo bahar se un diwaaro ko tod sake.  Par kya koi mil pata hai aesa jo tumhaare is torture ko real problem ki tarah samajh sake. Tum aksar apne dosto ke beech rahkar bhi akele se ho jaate ho. Bahar se hanste hue andar se rote rehte ho.  Agar koi tumse puchh bhi le ki are you fine to bas... yes absolutely…mujhe kya problem ho sakti wala jhooth bol kar has dete ho. Fir dheere dheere yahi jhooth tumhari identity ban jaati hai. Uske baad "yaar tu thik hai tujhe koi pareshani hoti nahi life mai. Itna khush kaise rah lete ho" tumhare dosto ki tumhare liye tagline… bas wo dark room aur usme band wo bebas insaan aur uski takleef tumhe raat ko sone se pehle apni jhalak dikhati hai. Aur tum sivaae bina awaaz ke bas rote ho tadapte ho aur fir kab so jaate ho pta hi nahi…
Aesa bhi kabhi hota hai kya? Kuchh bhi. Mujhe bhi na apne in bahaano ko bhool kar kaam par dhyaan dena chahiye. Or apni jimmedari puri karni chahiye. Bekaar ke bahaane hai. Aisa kuch kaha sach me hota hai….right???


© savii