A mind game~

A story of two tales all wrapped up in one...I smile and laugh && make jokes with the best of them.. Showing up to the familyfriends bbq on the weekends && going out to see the newest movie...But I have to remind myself remember you can't show your grieving........It feels like sometimes is choking me..i can't breathe but yet I am....Behind Every smile I'm holding a Million tears..a thousand fears.. Heartbroken && devastated..Sooo lost and lonely.. I'm in a crowded room..No one knows the real me... Its two different tales all wrapped in one....

I don't know why I mentally bleed and scream..Why I'm tortured daily,and no longer have a desire to keep living...I don't know why this happened to me...Sad beyond your imagination can take you..I was once happy, I knew joy and real peace.. How desperate I wish I knew them now.....I don't tell a soul that I'm losing my mind...Thoughts of suicide circle and circle my mind....I hear on the news someone took their life tonight.. Wow how did they do it??" is my first thought..And then I quickly follow up with ((there not suffering anymore)) they found that relief door!!"

I waver on my good days and contsplate on the bad... I think of ways tho...I think of ways.....Sadly to admit I think of ways...alot....

There's help...There is relief and committing suicide I PROMISE PROMISE you isn't it.. That door to death isn't relief but getting help is...It's a peace you've never thought you'd experience...A feeling of complete ready to live... AND not only that but live to the fullest.....Please please go get help ... RIGHTNOW TODAY GO GET HELP...walk,crawl,run,or drive..ask for a ride.. Please go get help... YOU NEED TO SAVE YOUR OWN LIFE.. let someone help... Suicide is the worst mind game depression && anxiety && sadness can play...Its not real, all these thoughts that you are having... Beauty does exist and thus world is YOURS for the taking .. Happiness awaits you...Joy and PEACE ......so please please get help today ..... please.... xOXo
© SabrinaMarie