Season 2
Episode Three (rough draft)

Scene One


Three nerds are hanging out behind a defunct bowling facility. Their names are Beppo, Dic Long and Fester. They are enjoying marijuana leaf cigarettes and alcoholic beverages.

Beppo: Hey guys, like... um.

Beppo starts to tremble a little bit and appears to be more nerdy than usual.

Dic: Bep, you alright bruv? bit o the wet and old?

Beppo shakes it off and smiles.

Beppo: My father used to beat me a lot. About my ass and face.

Dic seems nonplussed.

Dic: Dude, I'm worried about you. I'm going to take you to see a specialist.

Beppo pulls out a sharp piece of thick mirror from his boot and throws it back and forth between his swollen hands.

Beppo: I'll kill ya!! I'm angry now for no reason!

Suddenly Beppo sneezes and then passed out, his head bounces violently against some rusty garbage cans.

Dic: Oh no! My best friend!

Fester: ... are you guys gonna pass that blunt or..?

Awesome hospital themed music blares.

Dr. Timeshare enters through the ER wearing dark shades. He has a sling on his arm. It's stained with blood.

A nurse who's not hot walks up to him.

Nurse: Dr. Timeshare. Thank Jehova. We could really use your hel-

Timeshare shoves her face and she falls into some medical equipment.

Timeshare: Get the fuck out of my face. I'm not attracted to you.

Director Stone enters the scene. Her bodies cool I guess.

Stone: Dr. Timeshare! There you are. You're three hours late to interview the new class.

Timeshare: oh am I? I don't care. I drink drugs bitch. I got rid of the last batch because I hate people. A lot. I don't want to hire new people. motherfucker.

Stone is upset.

Stone: I should fuck you up Timeshare. You're antics are getting on my nerves.

Timeshare: Fuck you.

The ER doors burst open and two losers who couldn't make it in the medical field wheel in Beppo on a gurney. He's shaking and stuff.

Loser 1: Out of the way. We have a guy who's shaking and we gave him medical stuff but it only got worse and nows his body smells nasty.

The nurses and other people rush over.

Nurse person: Get an I.V arm thing!

Loser 2: His blood pressure is dropping a lot. He's been mumbling things and his fever is higher than Kurt cobain.

Stone grabs Timeshare by his throat.

Stone: You need to pick a team.

Timeshare:... Interesting.

Stone notices that Timeshare is staring at the nerd. He also has an erection. Its decent.

Timeshare: Nurse. If you put an I.V arm thing in that man he will die.

Nurse: wha-

Timeshare: Just do what I say. Get him to autopsy. Andput him on 18 lbs of EKG machine drip.

Timeshare smiles at stone.

Timeshare: I'll see those recruits now.

Scene Two

Dingo. Is a stout fellow.
Rodney is black or something.
Carly is in a wheelchair but her legs are nice and thikk.
Bobby has cowboy hat on and is holding a guitar.
Frank is gay.
Dolby mentally challenged. you can tell by his face.

They all stand up when Dr. Timeshare enters the room.

Timeshare: No time to get to know any of you and don't care. We have a man in the E.R.. he's showing signs of shaking and sneezing.

Dolby: He's got aids.

Timeshare: Doesn't explain the sneezing. Are you retarded?

Dolby:.. I don't like that term but-

Timeshare: Zero points for syndrome of the down. No chop suey for you. Gay person. What's your idea?

Bobby&Frank at the same time: I -

They lock eyes.

Timeshare: I need a diagnosis loverboys. Whoever's the top better be right.

Frank: Liver thrombosis, it covers shaking and sneezing.

Timeshare: Mmmhh.. order a ct scan for his liver. pump him full of fructose. I might only fire most of you.

Dingo: Dr. Timeshare. why are you so mean?

Timeshare slowly removes his glasses.

Timeshare: Because I have no eyes..

He eye sockets are empty black holes with deep scratch marks around them.














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