THE FRIENDSHIP QUESTION.

Ghosting anyone is my hubby, not a concious one, it's not deliberate, I am just someone who has developed the art of fudging on alone.

Nothing about me depends do or die on anyone else.

I simply refuse to nurture the possibility.

If I am hurt, ghosting the culprit becomes like breathing. Becuase I go out of my way not to deliberately hurt anyone.

So someone asked me about my friendships; and how I deal with friends who throws me under the Bus and expose information that I share with them In confidence.

I responded that "every supposed confidential information that I share with anyone Is information that may be painful to hear that it got out; but beleive me when I say that I somehow knew it can get out and may get out, so I am practically braced for the day It does, that's why I could share It In the first place".

I may be pained that It did get out, but I am braced that It can, because I shared it with a human being, feeble at that, but a human still.

No matter how close, deep and friendly we are; the Information about me that I don't want to get out at all, that one, It stays inside of me and It will go to the grave with me.

The information about any other person, my friend, that Is In my achived custody, will not ever be said that It was I who shared It, where It became public knowledge.

You see;

I am a very bad day to day kind of friend, I won't call you at all, or chat you often, almost never, except the friend remembers to reach out.

I will hardly initiate the hang out or the drink in.

I have lost several friends over the years becuase they couldn't figure me out, hell, I also couldn't figure my self out.

But somehow I have retained the ones who are simply like me, they also don't do everyday friend of mine or must dos by fire and force in friendship.

But when we do talk, we talk like we talk everyday.

Apart from my everyday work with the Bank, I am always wrapped up in my big head, thinking of stories to put down as the day runs through, but then my actual friends are just as wrapped up in their own pretty life stuff too.

But guess what!

I am a loyal friend.

A reliable one.

If In capacity to, I always come through for my friends.

I always try to be reliable, all my friends know this about me.

It's a curse of the humane and the empathy driven human.

I took after my father.

My mum does more of the all in, hang out, party here and there, wear the same group clothes kind of friendship.

I simply don't.

If I consider you my friend, I stand with you, even in your fuck up where I should naturally leave you.

I stay in the shadows and support you.

I make you realise that I know we are not perfect beings,

I will be your backbone if required.

I ensure you realise that I am your friend.

I will reassure you in your doubtful frail moments.

We bury shit together if we need to.

No one will know about you, your shame or what you want buried, simple.

It goes to my grave with me.

We carry placard together.

We cry in the dark together if we need to.

I don't protect you from your stupidity.

I make sure I tell you where you have messed up big time. I say it clearly that you were, are or you are being stupid.

Then we take the spade and fix the need.

My circle is small, quite small, my friends are really few, but I demand nothing from them, their behaviour does not make them my friend.

Mine does.

They became my friend long before their supposed stupid act or acts.

If someone is my friend, we must have formed the friendship long before the devil shook in on them, If ever.

You must have been there for me at one point or the other prior to the time in question.

So I always show my loyalty even when I don't have reciprocity.

It's a curse of the humane.

But then, when I associate with you.

You must likely have passed the various checks on intelectuality.

Believe me when I say you must also have gone through other checks in several other ways too.

This Includes other ways to improve me as a person.

So you see, my blind loyalty to my friends has nothing to do with their behaviour, because mine makes me their friend.

They already passed the friendship test.

I have very few of them remember.

They are my friends and It has nothing to do with their flaws or imperfect acts.

We all are flawed and Imperfect in one way or another.

The devil is a known bastard and has not stopped the work of destroying good things.

I especially am flawed, so who I to judge my friends who have proved to me In several other ways that they have my back over many years.


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