𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑
𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 🖤
𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑@𝑘𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑦𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠🖤

(𝐄𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐚𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝)
𝐅-𝐈-𝐂-𝐓-𝐈-𝐎-𝐍.

I am still longing for you. I am missing you so damn bad, Honey. I am being occupied again with just your thoughts. With you, I am still into. Despite of everything. You still got me. Your departure leaves me hanging. From better to worst I am going day by day without your presence. From your family to your friends, I asked about you. But there is no response from any of them.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒎𝒆.
𝑯𝒐𝒘'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆? 𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒘'𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚.
𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒉𝒊-𝒊-𝒊𝒍𝒆.

I pinch myself. I am not for surely dreaming. I know it is you. Nothings' change with you despite of how long time have passed. You are still is mesmerizing. You are as gorgeous as goddess. Still just as you are long time ago. But I can't see anything from you. I can't even tell your emotion. You are just looking at me like I am a stranger. A stranger you never know nor ever met. It stings me but managed myself to talk.
"Hey! It's me how are you?" I greeted you.
"I am okay. Much better now unlike when we are together" your words are as a knife that swiftly stabs me continuously. It's been so long. After that incedent, we then never talk anymore. We never meet again. I never heard anything about you. Not until this day comes. So I did not waste my chance to talk to you. But in a cold tone you replied.

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓.
𝑾𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉-𝒚-𝒚.

I am looking at you intently.
"Seems you are in a rush?" I asked you.
"Ahm if you don't mind. I gotta go" you stated. "I have lots of things to do. 'Important things'" you added as you emphasize the word important.
That caught me. You are really an unpredictable girl. But undeniably , I must be thankful that my feet brings me here. Here infront of you. As you were hailing a taxi for work. I offer you a drive but you refused. I just then left hanging. As I watch you walks away carried by that yellow taxi you hailed. A taxi again! For this damn second time. I was disappointed. I wanted to talk to you. Atleast for just an hour. But I was failed. I am such a dumbass. A coward dumbass. But atleast I've got to see you. After a very long time. After years. I have given a chance to talk to you for atleast even just seconds. There are no emotions with your face.

The memories of that cold night then flashes back.

𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆.

"Hey love where are you?" You texted me.
"I am at home why?" I lied.
"Ahm, nothing honey! just chekin' up on you" you then replied but somethings in it, I can feel.
"Oh! Okay love. How are you instead?" I asked out of nowhere. But I was caught up with your reply.

"Here at Cassavilles Cafè. Watching over the two of you. Oh honey, don't be so bothered, dry your sweats. It is all over your face. I advise you to take of that leather jacket you were wearin' and I guess that girl infront of you is carrying a tissue on that pink purse she's holding, better tell her to give you a piece of it for your sweats". I was shocked. Totally! Damn it! I love you, I know. I can feel that I love you. But I am entertaining other girls. Damn you self! Fuck you! I was left dumbfounded.

𝑺𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆.
𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉-𝒕-𝒕.

I saw you walked outside the Cafè. The sun is almost gone. You are wearing your black coat that covers and reaveals that damn curve of your body upto your knees. With your white high heels you were wearin that makes you more taller for an inches. That damn, dim light of the cafè makes your skin more whiter. With your damn scent that seizes the cafè. That flawless skin you have. And that rosy cheeks of yours. That long black hair of yours that is as free as a bird carried by the wind. That damn brown eyes that is staring at me wattered. Damn! You are not worthy of crying. You shouldn't be. You are almost perfect that everyone should be proud of having. And I am so proud I have you. I am so fortunate you are mine. What have I done? I got frozen. Senseless. Troubled. Occupied by unknown. Left nothing to do. I cannot say a word. I cannot make a move. Cassavilles' Cafè is located nearby street. In exact place which we planned to own. In this place where we are in full of love while future sighting. Is where I broke you into pieces. I am sorry. So sorry Honey. I just watch you hailing a Taxi. Just barely looking at you. As you looked at me with your eyes wattered, you never look back as you turn around. Calmly you walked away but sobbing.
I can still remember that 1005 name plated yellow taxi that rushed you away from me. I am watching the taxi drives you away as I can no longer have a sight with it. I left there standing still. Can still do nothing. Then I just felt millions of raindrops covers me wet. My eyes were teary. Then in just a minute, my tears flows as they were in a race.

After that, I heard nothing from you.

𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

If I could only go back. I will not hesitate. I'll not let you hailed that taxi. I'll not let it take you away from me. That taxi you hailed. That taxi that runs you away from me. But is it the taxi I should be blaming? Obviously, It is not. It is me. It is me, my dumbness and cowardness.

𝑰𝒕 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
𝑾𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒊-𝒊-𝒊𝒏𝒆.
𝑰'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓.

It's been 2 long years of not hearing anything from you. I just know that you got yourself to America after that night. I tried to locate you. I have searched for you. I did everything that I can. In any ways possible. I have invested my time, money and efforts but I failed to see you. Your family blocks anything that is possible for me to trace you. They said, it is your words as you leave. But I mean no harm. I just wanted to tell you my side. You did not gave me a time to explain. Maybe things will be okay if you do. But it is not your fault cause you know nothing. I bet everything for you is still in blurry.

𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.
𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

But if I will be given a chance to go back. Then no matter how you insist of going. I will not let you. I will not let you go not hearing anything from me. I will go back just to slap myself as I got frozen standing there. Just to say what I has to say. Just to explain my side. Everything for you that time I know were all in blurry. My bad for I wasn't able to make you understood what really is going. My dumbness loosens my grip in you. You are able to make a way because I am that damn dumbass to do nothing to stop you. Only if I am able to say a word that night.

Then maybe I can change your mind of leaving.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈.
𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏' 𝒖𝒑 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈.

Days, months and years after your departure, I was just being relieved by all of the fake scenarios I have in my mind.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒂-𝒂-𝒂𝒍𝒍.
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔.
𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒂-𝒂-𝒂𝒍𝒍.

All those times, as it passes by, that I have heard nothing from you. I insist to wrap a gift for you crying. For all our special days. Monthsaries, your Birthdays, Christmas, Year ends, every special ocassions we have missed of being together. I am now looking at it as they were so many, placed in the sofa at my room. The things inside these boxes are everything I wanted to give you. But I failed to have the chance to. But I am not being hopeless that one day would come. The day that I will be able to give these to you and you will accept all of these willingly. As I am lying on my bed holding my Anniversary gift for you, glancing on this silver necklace with a minimalist capricornio pendant you once dreamt of having, I cried myself to sleep as our memories rush back.

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒈𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆.

I remembered everything. The time when I have the every right in you. The right to call you mine. The right to own you. To keep anybody away from you. I have the every right in you because you are mine. All of those warm hugs you're giving me. Those little kisses your planting in me. Those cuddles I miss. Those sweet smiles of yours. Those every conversations. As we just let time pass by, just staring at each other with our fingers intertwined. Everything about you. Everything about us haunts me. Everything about when you were mine. "No need. It is no longer your obligation". I almost cursed myself to hell as you said those words. Honey! I miss you. I was so dumb! So fucked up! I am a shitdumbass asshole for hurting you. For letting you suffer. You only deserves to be loved but I gave you distress instead.

I am so sorry.
MyLove.
May you forgive me.

𝑺𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆.
𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

I will gonna make everything up to you. I know I deserve your departure for lying and hurting you but same way I am not worthy of not having you because I love you.

𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

I know time gonna let me make things right. I know along the way, we will gonna have the time that is in store for us.

𝑰𝒕 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
𝑾𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒊-𝒊-𝒊𝒏𝒆.

Years or suffering is enough.
Alienating each other for so long is too much.
It is a mess.

A torture we are not worthy of.

𝑰'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓.
𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.
𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

Millions of chances if I will be given. I will take it all to go back. To make things right. To make everythings clear for you. To make it all up to you. To change your mind. To clear your mind with your make believes. With the fallacies you believed. To unlock your blurry speculations. To keep you from going. To make you stay. But first is first. I should have not given you any reason to conclude something.

I should have not lied.

𝑰 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆.
𝑺𝒐 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝒔𝒐 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑺𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒚.

Our memories hunts me. Day by day. Moments by moments. Every single nights, your thoughts are with me. How we first met. When and how we first have the exchanges of conversations. How you used to be my wall to lean on. How you willingly offered yourself as a handkerchief to dried up my tears as I am so exhausted with my fucking wasted life. How you helped me change. How you convinced me that there is a brighter side in darkness. How you lead me on the way. How you guided me. How you inspire me. How you supported me in any ways possible. How we end up our fights with iloveyous and a kiss. How you understands and cope up with my beauty and beast attitude. You were my cheerleader at all costs. You were all I'm thinking as my eye gets tired of crying at night. And as I get swollen eyed every morning, you are all I see. One time, I dreamt of you. Then lukewarmed water is what I felt racing downfall from my eyes when I realized, it was but just a dream.

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈.
𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈.
𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰'𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

Only if I was able to explain before you go. Then I bet I am not cryin' myself alone. Maybe you are still here I'm holding to. You are still here beside me. Still here I am kissing. I am cuddling with. I am embracing. Still here to make me laugh. Still the one hearing my silly jokes. Maybe we are still together. Maybe things were okay. And maybe we aren't suffered for years.

𝑰'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕.

I will just be foolin' myself. Being delusional. No matter how I wish to go back at that night. To hail a time machine just to get me back at that night. At that very point of time. To stop you from leaving. It will never be possible. It is a delusion. You are now gone. I made it. I do nothing. I lost you.

𝑺𝒐 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓, 𝑰 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅.

I heard, you are living yourself now. Buying all the things you want. You are living a life now. A stable job. A house of your own. A car you were telling me,

"One day I will buy my own car Honey. And I will make it in yellow, pink and black colors. It may sounds disgusting but I assure you mylove. Its gonna be lit".

I can still remember how persistent you are that you gonna have that dream car of yours. How your eyes sparkled as you elaborate how you gonna make it possible. Now you have it. I am so proud of you Honey. You achieved your dreams alone, you achieved what you once have dreamt of achieving with me. But I can say that in this, you never change. You are in no need of anybody with intimacy related relationship just to be happy. You are as good as yourself. Enjoying your own company. You never entertained anybody after me. And so am I. Believe me or not Honey! Never! I suffered with myself alone as you leave. Cried myself alone. Locked myself at my room alone. Reminiscing our memories with only the thoughts of yours. Mylove if I could be only talking to you. I will strongly and confidently confess that it was a bullshit, what you saw at that cafè is a bullshit.

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆.
𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏' 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓.

But I am still so sorry for you have to saw it that way. I should have not lied and just tell you the truth. My eagerness to save our relationship just make it all worst. I have taken the wrong way. The wrong action. I have taken the wrong dumn fucking action.

𝑰𝒕 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
𝑾𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.

It was a mistake what you believed I've done to you. But only if you allow me to explain. I will make it all clear to you.

𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

I remembered the scenario two years ago.
"At Cassavilles Cafè. Meet me up or else I'll gonna ruin your relationship". I received a text from unknown.

"Man do you know what happened last night?" My friend asked me with a devilish smirk on his face. We were at his condo. Last night was his birthday and I was just forced to be there. He invited some random girls. We got so drunked that night. Things happened but I know I've done nothing because I love my girlfriend. I am just into her. I can't cheat on her. She's all I am loving. She's all I know. Even thought I am drunk, I know who I am inlove with. And it will only be my girl. My one and only.

𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.

After I saw you again there, hailing another runaway. I tried to reach up on you. Luckily, I got your number with my eagerness. I have my friend with a food delivering business and I look up for your number there. I do message you in any ways possible. On WhatsApp, Instagram, Viber, Wechat. I even visited your email just to talk to you. Almost all of your social media sites actually, as your friend sends me the details. I even parked my car outside your house all day long til the sun rises again. Hoping you will allow me to just have a talk with you. A talk over a coffee at our favorite place just like the old days. But I did not succeeded. I have done anything just to make it all up to you.

𝑰 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

I am in so much disappointment with what a mere mistake have done to us. If only you let me explain. And if only I am able to. My Love just only if you let me be.

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

I am at my car driving. I just got it. My another best gift for you. My eyes were almost teary as I take a gIimpse on what is inside the envelop. Finally. I can't wait til you have this. Hope you like it. I then set my music on shuffle. Music plays the song of Taylor Swift, 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓.

As the music ends with,"𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆".

This is what I want you to know. Honey! I am missing you so bad. A million times in possibility. I will go back at that 14th day of July, outside the Cassavilles Café, under the streetlights. Just to stop you from hailing that taxi. Just to tell you everything I have left unsaid. Just to make it all up to you. I will make anything clear for you. I will not get tired just so I can make you understand which is which.
That it was just a mistake. Just but a shit dammit bullshit mistake. What you saw was just a mistake. What you believed I did was just but a mistake. I can't do that to you. And never will I. And I am so sorry for letting you suffer with just that damn mistake. A mistake that leads us unto this. A mistake that ruins us. A mistake that breaks us apart for years. That fucking mistake that makes you turn your back at me. That makes you walks away from me. Makes you resent me.
But I promise. I love you Honey, thats all I know. That is all, I am holding. Fortunately, now I know where to reach you. That now I know I can reach you. I will not let you go away where I can't find nor trace you again no more. I will make it all up to you. I will not make ourselves suffer for another years. I will not prolong this bullshit. Now that I have every chance to make things right. I promise. I will not let myself be frozen again. I will not be frozen that will keep me on doing things that I oughtta do. I promise I will win you back Mylove!. Whether you allow me or not. It will take time but you can only be mine.
You are just mine. I can't afford seeing you with somebody else. Honey! You are just mine. Just mine!. I will just give you a time. But I will not let that time fades what you have for me. I can still feel there is a little. I will make everything possible just to win back that little. And from that, I will win back everything.
I will win you back. What that mistake have taken away from me, from us for two long years. I will win back what we deserve of having. My presents for you that just got roomzoned for a long time will be one by one delivered at 105th street, block 19th of Bobs' Village. I myself will deliver it personally. I will be knocking on your door, Honey.
Just like the old days. Just like all our old good days. When everythings okay. When everythings fine. But trust me Honey! Everythings' gon be okay. And we will be regretting every moments, that we let time stole from us. But those were for a purpose I bet. We became maybe not the best but atleast the better versions of ourselves. I will not just let things happen.

This time. I will make it happen. I will not let the ghosts of the past hunts me any longer. I will not let myself to just be affected of what happened. I will learn from it. I will be burying everything from the past and leave it five feet beneath the ground.

For you Honey!
𝐽𝑒𝑡'𝑎𝑖𝑚𝑒❣️

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