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About Boundaries
What are boundaries, and why should we set them? Before we actually take a look at what Boundaries are, it’s important that we also take a look at what they’re not
Boundaries are not:
Disrespectful.
Hate for the other person, rather it’s the behaviors you will and won’t tolerate
Set just because you and another person have a different opinion. A disagreement is NOT a personal attack
Assuming others know how you feel. Remember, communicate. Other people can’t read your mind
Angry or with a raised voice. You want to be firm and assertive, but calm and levelheaded.
Timid. You should be polite, but you should still be confident
Your responsibility to fix other people. If someone won’t listen to you, then don’t make them listen. You are only responsible for you. You can’t control another person!
So, when should you set a boundary?
Boundaries are simply communicating the facts and your needs. For those of us who grew up not learning about boundaries, it can be difficult to know when you should speak up or not. Family can be some of the hardest to set boundaries with because you may have been expected to behave a certain way. Boundaries can often be seen as taboo and mean, but remember it’s a normal part of our society. A police officer will set a boundary with you if you break the law. A parent will set it to a teenager who stays out past curfew. A teacher will set one to a student who cheats on an exam. Songwriter and singer Taylor Swift set a boundary with her former manager Scooter Braun by re recording her albums after he made her lose the rights to her music. Below are more good examples
Set a boundary if:
Someone hasn’t done their part of the work and hasn’t explained why, leaving you to do all the work. “You never showed up for dinner or the meeting. What’s going on?’
Consent is violated (Especially in a sexual way)
Someone forces you to give up your opinion for theirs.
Someone continues to bring up a triggering subject even when you’ve asked politely for them to stop
Someone takes advantage of your kindness, time, money or other resources
You’re disrespected as a person.
Remember, If you don’t set boundaries simply because you want people to like you, you’re only giving more room for stress. Not only emotional, but physical over time. This can lead to drastic consequences toward your health and wellbeing. Second, everything you’re silent on, you’re also teaching people they can get away with poor behavior.
© midnights11
Boundaries are not:
Disrespectful.
Hate for the other person, rather it’s the behaviors you will and won’t tolerate
Set just because you and another person have a different opinion. A disagreement is NOT a personal attack
Assuming others know how you feel. Remember, communicate. Other people can’t read your mind
Angry or with a raised voice. You want to be firm and assertive, but calm and levelheaded.
Timid. You should be polite, but you should still be confident
Your responsibility to fix other people. If someone won’t listen to you, then don’t make them listen. You are only responsible for you. You can’t control another person!
So, when should you set a boundary?
Boundaries are simply communicating the facts and your needs. For those of us who grew up not learning about boundaries, it can be difficult to know when you should speak up or not. Family can be some of the hardest to set boundaries with because you may have been expected to behave a certain way. Boundaries can often be seen as taboo and mean, but remember it’s a normal part of our society. A police officer will set a boundary with you if you break the law. A parent will set it to a teenager who stays out past curfew. A teacher will set one to a student who cheats on an exam. Songwriter and singer Taylor Swift set a boundary with her former manager Scooter Braun by re recording her albums after he made her lose the rights to her music. Below are more good examples
Set a boundary if:
Someone hasn’t done their part of the work and hasn’t explained why, leaving you to do all the work. “You never showed up for dinner or the meeting. What’s going on?’
Consent is violated (Especially in a sexual way)
Someone forces you to give up your opinion for theirs.
Someone continues to bring up a triggering subject even when you’ve asked politely for them to stop
Someone takes advantage of your kindness, time, money or other resources
You’re disrespected as a person.
Remember, If you don’t set boundaries simply because you want people to like you, you’re only giving more room for stress. Not only emotional, but physical over time. This can lead to drastic consequences toward your health and wellbeing. Second, everything you’re silent on, you’re also teaching people they can get away with poor behavior.
© midnights11
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