many have asked me, "pouty, how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?"
i simply reply, "probably not as good as you feel about wasting my time with questions like this."
but, I'm a good Christian, so i figured I'd tell the world my views.
does it belong on pizza? sure. why not?
if i see pineapple on pizza, I'm not all stressed out about it. i don't get upset.
i simply pick it off and throw it as far as i can in the direction of Hawaii. i never say, "THAT DOESN'T BELONG ON PIZZA!" who am i to tell pizza who it can and can't be with? put strawberries on there, or peanut butter for all i care.
throw a few fried eggs to compliment the bacon. huh? why not? why isn't there a breakfast pizza? we need to get on this.
maybe, just maybe, if i went to a birthday party and there was a transmission sitting on top of a pizza, i might question it.
that SEEMS like it doesn't belong, but maybe, like one of those robot dinosaurs from the monster truck shows is coming to the party, and that's as standard on pizza as pepperoni is to us. i don't know! so, to say something doesn't belong on pizza is a tad bit arrogant. you know what i believe doesn't belong on pizza? lava. but, for a logical reason. lava would incinerate the pizza and there would be no pizza. i have issues with "no pizza."
pineapple is not for me, though. it's a terrifying fruit. you ever see one? all hard and spikey? you could put that on the end of a stick and go to war with it. don't put it on my pizza.


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