As my finger traces the score sheet, my eyes scanned it up and down.
And there it was!
I saw it glaring at me with insult.
My heart missed no beat.
Instead, it beats my chest severally with fear.
And out of nowhere,
salty lotion instantly moisturizes my face.
At first, I thought it wasn't mine.
I must have mistaken someone else's as mine.
For it's not in anyway possible for me to have gotten that.
I went back again to thoroughly check;
My finger retraced it steps and my eyes carefully scanned in slow up and down motion.
And there it was, confirmed!
I had truly mistaken it for mine.
But then,
I wished it wasn't a mistake,
I reluctantly wished the one I mistook was mine.
For when I saw mine,
I still believed it wasn't mine.
Even the one I wished to be mine,
I still wish I never wished for it to be mine.
My finger went back again,
retracing its steps.
But this time,
it wasn't a mistake.
It really was mine.
But how?
How can this be mine?
Then,
my conscience reminded:
'You refused to do His first'.
Then,
I remembered that few days before,
I was supposed to do His own but neglected it and went ahead to do that which I believe will take me high.
I forgot it's not really about the effort I put in or my knowledge,
it's about His mercy that liveth.
But I know and believe this does not define my final score;
In the greater one to come,
I'm sure I'll see it and smile,
testify that His mercy truly liveth forever and that He's forever faithful even when I am not.
I'm sure I'm going to give and write a testimony.

© AM Odunayo